I was going to do it. It's weird. Talk me out of it fellow DU'ers. No use!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[RevCheesehead]

1. If you're having second thoughts about it now,

just think how much you'll regret it tomorrow. :shrug:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. Yeah but, it's got claws into me.

[MissB]

2. Don't do it.

There.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

5. Why? It's .............

[sundog]

4. do it

that's my normal policy

[Crazy Guggenheim]

7. I knew I could count on you, my dear friend Sundog.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. And just what is it you want me to talk you out of?

My dear Crazy!

But I can still oblige you: NO, DON'T DO IT! YOU WILL REGRET IT FOREVER!

Will that do? :shrug:



:loveya: :hug:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

8. But Sundog says I should .......

[RevCheesehead]

9. You did it!

Naughty boy! :spank:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

10. I did it Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

:rofl: :popcorn:

Again!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

[RevCheesehead]

11. .... (waiting for southlandshari to appear)

:popcorn:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

12. LOL!

:rofl: :popcorn:

[RevCheesehead]

13. If we keep kicking this thread,

she's bound to smell the popcorn, isn't she?

:popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn:

[Demonaut]

14. voted greatest

[RevCheesehead]

15. great idea!

:evilgrin:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

16. Thank you both!

[Moderator]

17. The popcorn in this thread is embarrassing.

But I do enthusiastically share your taste in jokes:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4167117#4168388

[RevCheesehead]

19. Shari! Is that you???

Here, have some: :popcorn:

[Moderator]

20. ....

I am Moderator.

[RevCheesehead]

21. Bwahahaha!

Sure you are. ;)

[BikeWriter]

18. Recommended topic.

;)

[Crazy Guggenheim]

22. Did someone say Brazilians?

[IntravenousDemilo]

23. That's one of the funniest jokes I've ever read!

Is it one of yours?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

31. LOL. Oh yeah I just made it up.

:sarcasm:

:woohoo: :popcorn:

[IntravenousDemilo]

39. So sorry if I gave you credit. I realize that must have hurt you terribly,

and you have my solemn promise that I shall never, ever make such a hideous mistake again.

Actually, I PMed it to my boyfriend (terrya) this morning, just in case he should miss this hilarious joke by its sinking down off the first page, and he informed me that it's been on here before. Well, I'd never seen it until today and I busted a gut. If it's an oldie, it's still a goodie.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

41. I'm just kidding.

[IntravenousDemilo]

42. OK, then....

Ferricito... "Aiiiii, dios miiiiiiiiio..."

[LaurenG]

24. Now look what you've done

One more and it's on the greatest page.

[DanCa]

25. President Bush is so dumb that he thinks those air freshners

in the mens toilets are breath mints.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

27. HAAAAA! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

:rofl:

[chknltl]

26. Ya know, up till now, I really had nothing against Brasil....

... Full Moon, that's it right?????

[MissMillie]

28. bite me

and the horse I came in on.

[Debi]

29. Been done before but you're forgiven...here's another one

How much would you donate?

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks, "What happened?"
"Terrorists kidnapped President Bush and are asking for a $10 million
ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline and set him on
fire. We are going from car to car to take up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"
"About a gallon."

[Crazy Guggenheim]

30. Ooooo.

[Debi]

32. Do you think my computer is now being monitored?

:yoiks:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

33. This is getting good.

:popcorn:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

34. Here's another one!

A researcher called G. W. Bush house in Austin. G. W was sleeping in late and was awaken by the call. He was half-asleep when he answered the phone.
Researcher: Excuse me, sir. I'm conducting a survey
GW Bush: Questions? No political questions.
Reseacher: Political, sir?
GW Bush: Do you know who you are calling?
Researcher: We call numbers at random, sir. May I ask --
GW Bush: What is this about?
Researcher: We are asking people do they think COKE beats PEPSI.
GW BUSH: I've never tried pepsi. Is that a new thing?

[Debi]

37. Have you seen this?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

38. Here's one!!

Was it 7 years? 25 years? or When?
A Texas friend and Bush supporter was heard shouting,"

Stop trashing Governor Bush! Give the man a break! If you drank as much booze as him, and snorted as much coke, you wouldn't remember when you stopped either! Or if you have!"


:rofl: :rofl: :spray: :applause: :woohoo: :popcorn: :popcorn:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

35. Hold me back I'm on a roll!

BUSH AND POWELL IN BAR
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smartass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

[Crazy Guggenheim]

36. SADDAM AND GEORGE BUSH MEET UP

Saddam Hussein is touring in the United States and meets up with President Bush at the White House. They discuss current events and then Saddam says to Bush, "You know this United States...It is a remarkable country! Everywhere I go I see large pictures of myself on walls and windows and all of them say, 'Hooray, For Saddam Hussein!' I must have seen hundreds of these pictures everywhere praising me."
Bush scratches his head and thinks for moment how this could be and then says to Saddam, "You know the last time I toured your country I too noticed pictures of myself on windows and buildings everywhere."
"Okay," replied Hussein, "But what did they say?"
"I don't know," replied Bush, "I couldn't read them. I don't read Hebrew."

[Crazy Guggenheim]

40. More!

Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."