I was offended at a restaurant today

[Little-Jen]

I went out to eat last night with a couple of friends. It was an nice place, with pretty good food for the value, so I can't complain about that. The problem was my waiter. To be perfectly honest with you, he wasn't rude or anything. He did his job the way it was supposed to be done, but it was what he was wearing. I didn't notice it at first, but my friend Marleen pointed out that he was wearing a Ronald Reagan watch, and apon closer inspection, there it was. Now, this woman was very upset. She lost her brother to AIDS in the 80's, because of Reagan's policies, and this waiter has the balls to wear that in a restaurant where people with different views come in to eat every day? Seriously, we would have left had we noticed it before our food came. I was going to bring it up to him, but decided not to. First of all, I can't understand how this guy (who was about 30), who was clearly not rich, could idolize Reagan. But that's besides the point. Why was he wearing this in a public restaurant, and why was his manager letting him? I really want to report this, because I go to eat there often (every two weeks or so). Can anything be done? Is it even legal for him to be expressing his views while dealing with the public? Any advice?

[REP]

1. Ever Consider He was Wearing It Ironically?

I have a Nixon watch I wear. Nixon is *not* my idol.

[Little-Jen]

11. Well, I got a good glimpse of it when he put my plate down

It wasn't a picture of Reagan with a goofy face or anything. The picture was a normal, presidential picture. I don't see this as a joke.

[REP]

13. So's My Nixon Watch

I also have a sheet of USPS Nixon postage stamps. I threw a party when he died.

Don't assume. You know what they say about that.

[Little-Jen]

16. I see your point,

But I fail to see the logic. I personally would never wear a watch unless I greatly admired the person. I wouldn't wear a Bush watch if you paid me, unless it was making fun of him or something. However, I'd gladly wear a Paul Wellstone t-shirt anywhere, but even that I wouldn't wear while working with the public.

[REP]

17. That's What Makes The World So Much Fun

My sense of humor is different from yours, which is different from that guy's, whose is different from hers ... Don't let a little thing like a watch tick you off. If it's worn as a joke, then all is cool. If it's worn seriously, well, by not getting angry, you still win!

[KitchenWitch]

18. Hear hear!

[LynneSin]

38. Sorry, I don't agree - Reagan has ruined too many lives

Yes, I know Nixon has too. But if you read below about my first reply, I too was affected by 'Reagonomics' in a negative way (not as harshly though as someone who died of AIDS during that administration).

The watch, even if it was a joke, was in poor taste. Hell the waiter might as well have worn a white robe with a swastika watch.

To own a Nixon (or Reagan watch) and wear it as a joke around your friends is one thing - your friends know you well enough to appreciate the humor in the watch. But this was a waiter serving in a public non-political restaurant. I've waited tables and I can assure you it's always best to not wear your political ideologies on your sleeve (just as it's smart to not do that in any other business). I would never consider wearing an anti-war/anti-bush shirt or button to work and I would be just as offended to see a Reagan watch even if that guy was a bleeding-heart liberal wearing one as a joke. The watch is offensive and personally I'm not tipping an asshole who somehow finds this guy amusing.

BTW, if Reagan was never president I highly doubt we would have had Bush in the White House today. So I hold Reagan just as responsible for all those who have died today in Iraq. Anyhow it was Reagan that sold WMDs to Iran in the first place!

[LynneSin]

37. I'm agreeing with you Little-Jen

I leave my politics at home. Knowing that Ronald Reagan is such a controversial president to so many people, wearing a Reagan watch while waiting tables, even as a joke is just poor taste.

That's why I would make sure I let the waiter and management know why I was jilting him. Maybe if it was a just a joke watch like REP's Nixon watch - the waiter will think twice before doing such a poor joke again

[WCGreen]

2. Could it have been a joke type thing....

You know like a Mickey Mouse watch.....

When I served, at one place we were encouraged to where buttons on our suspenders...

I always wore political messages and band badges...

No one ever said anything to me about my liberal buttons and I worked in a suburb rife with republicans...

[KitchenWitch]

3. I hate to be a wet blanket, and I understand your feelings

but I am against ALL forms of censorship. Clearly, I believe wearing a Ronald Reagan watch is in very poor taste, and likely offensive to half the population, but I also respect the waiter's right to wear that watch, even if I am offended by it.

[Little-Jen]

12. I'm against cersorship too

I will defend his right to the core to wear a Reagan watch while he is out with his friends, at home, or just about anywhere, but NOT in the work place. Being against censorship is fine, but what if it was a Hitler watch (not that I'd compare the too)?

[KitchenWitch]

14. If his employer has no issue with it

He is free to wear it. Period. As a customer, you may request to not be seated in his section, but apparently he is free to wear it.

[LynneSin]

39. I respect his right to wear the watch and to show my respect...

...I have the same rights to not leave a tip for the bastard.

ANd I also have the rights to complain to both the waiter and management about the watch and the reason I didn't leave the tip.

And the guy can continue wearing the watch and people have the rights to refuse patronage.

No one is taking away his free speech. But if I don't like his free speech I can use my free speech to protest.

[KitchenWitch]

41. Oh, I do not dispute anything you have said

I did say I found it in poor taste, and was certainly surprised his employer allowed him to wear it.

I would likely approach the waiter myself, and in a light hearted way, explain why I find his watch offensive. I would then also talk to the restaurant manager.

But I will never interfere with his choice to express his first amendment rights, even at work, even if it is unprofessional.

[SOteric]

4. Hi Little-Jen, Welcome to DU.

I wouldn't interpret this as a member of the waitstaff expressing his views. I see it as a member of the waitstaff wearing a watch.

For all we know, it may be have been bequeathed to him by his recently departed beloved grandfather, or his sweet old Uncle Fred.

My condolences to your friend. It's painful to lose those we love, and feeling an irresponsible and uncaring government contributed can be a bitter pill.

[southlandshari]

5. Interesting story, Little-Jen.

Very interesting.

Wish I could help you out, but I'm at a loss.


:-)

[VolcanoJen]

6. OK... but let me just float this.

I'm a bartender, and I work with a lot of servers who have little jokey things going on. One of our servers wore an old-school diamond-encrusted RNC symbol on his lapel during the election. He hated Republicans with a passion, and remains one of the most outwardly gay servers in our joint.

We work in an overwhelmingly Republican area, and he thought it would be good for tips. It was the damned funniest thing when it was happening...

To this day, I tend my entire shift sipping from a coffee mug emblazoned with the unmistakable "Enron" logo, for example.

It would be very, very unusual for any server, anywhere, to be an "out" Reagan fan. We work for $2.13 an hour, plus tips, no benefits, no vacation, no sick days. On average, we restaurant employees are a pretty reliable Democratic/Progressive base.

There's a possibility it was an inside joke... or at least, that's what I'm hoping.

[Little-Jen]

15. Up until a year ago, I served food as well

Yes, we get crap hourly wages, but with tips I did better then I do now. This was a decent restaurant, so it wouldn't surprise me if he's pulling in close to a grand per week (assuming he works 5 days). Also, it's in NYC. Hardly a Republican area.

[hickman1937]

7. Jen, he's got the right to wear it but I doubt the management

would approve. My daughter has been waitressing for about 8 years in 2 different states, and says political garb of any kind is stupid. Leave him, next time, a dollar and an explanation on a napkin.

[VolcanoJen]

9. How about you tip on his service, and leave a note on a napkin?

No reason to punish his level of service just because he disagrees with his customers politically, in an open manner.

Just my two cents... as someone who lives from a tip jar, and keeps her political opinions to herself until someone asks. :-)

[WCGreen]

10. I agree with you.....

[MrScorpio]

8. Folks in this country have the freedom to be Reagan worshiping idiots

If they want to show their love, I have no problem with that.

Frankly, I that it's a pretty good way to quickly I.D. the more stupid people around us.

[Dangerously Amused]

19. If he was a decent waiter...

I wouldn't let it get to me. Like you said, you didn't even notice it at first... so it's not like he was trying to get attention with it.

Why get upset at all? If it were me, I wouldn't even leave a note. I would just cheerfully say, "Hey dude, nice watch!" and see what he says. He'll probably tell you the story behind it at that point. If not, then ask him where he got it. By then you'll know if he's a serious Reaganite and if it still bothers you, ask him (in a nice way) if he thinks he's lost any tips by wearing it to work. That will get the message across!

[Little-Jen]

22. Great advise

I will follow it if he's ever out waiter again, as I'm there every two to three weeks. I see him almost every time I'm there, but he's waited on me only once before (about two months ago), but I didn't see his watch until last night.

[Bridget Burke]

20. Why didn't you just ask the waiter about the watch?

It's quite possible that it was a joke. At the end of the USSR, Joe Stalin watches were popular--worn by folks who were NOT nostalgic for the "good old days."

You could have explained why you didn't like Reagan--this was a young guy, after all. Of course, you didn't even notice the watch until someone pointed it out to you. Then you proceeded to seethe in silent anger, plotting to "report" him to management, wondering whether he had legal rights.

This almost sounds like a parody of wimpy Liberal PC-ness....

[Little-Jen]

23. I know how you feel,

but imagine if this was the 90's and some waiter had on a Bill Clinton watch. Do you think for one minute conservatives would let it slide?

[REP]

24. Yes

Most people have better things to do then get offended by other people's jewelry.

Here's a clue: wearing someone's face on a watch is not really "honoring" them anymore than having their face on a plate is. It's kitschy. Tacky. Declasse.

[Bridget Burke]

33. I'm afraid you don't know how I feel.

If I'd wondered about the watch, I would have spoken up instead of seething inwardly. Perhaps a catty remark about the waiter's accessorizing talents?

Liberals = Weak. Conservatives = Strong. Sorry, I don't buy that.

[radwriter0555]

21. Soooo I can't wear my Mao watch?

He was responsible for the deaths of millions of chinese...

[crispini]

29. I picked up all this Mao kitch when I was in China,

mostly, as other posters on this thread have said, to be ironic, not because I actually *admire* Mao.

I have a cigarette lighter with Mao's face on it that plays "The East is Red" when you open it. :rofl:

[radwriter0555]

31. I saw all that stuff too, when I went to Beijing... however, having

recently read up on a genuine history of mao and his communist empire, I really have a genuine empathy for the chinese and how badly mao damaged that once great nation.

That aside, the Mao kitsch is interesting... and the stuff is made for export, not for the appreciation of the Chinese. I am seeing less and less of it these days, thank goodness.

[ScreamingMeemie]

25. Consder losing your brother to AIDS, and then consider your other

brother being a HUGE Reagan fan...This is my father's family. There is far worse in the world than getting upset over a waiter's watch. but, I will say, it's exactly why my business vehicle has no bumper stickers on it...and I take off my "Think Blue" bracelet when I am with a client. :hi:

Welcome to DU. :toast:

[RebelOne]

26. Sorry, but I can't agree with you.

Would you have been offended if he was wearing a Clinton watch?

[KitchenWitch]

27. I will share a bit of my life experience with you

I tend not to be offended by what people wear. I get offended by what people say and do. Actions are everything.

I, too, lost someone close to me to AIDS in the early 1990s, as a direct result of Reagan's AIDS policies.

Part of what makes humans great is our diversity. Diversity of views, looks, etc is what makes this world great.

[Kickin_Donkey]

28. My first thought was that he was wearing it for the irony.

When I went to Russia in the 1990s, I picked up some of the old Red Army watches complete with the red star. If I wear it, does that make me a supporter of the Soviet Army? No, it's for the irony.

I think enough time has passed that wearing a Reagan watch wouldn't necessarily mean support for the him -- after all, he has passed away. It would obviously be different if someone were wearing a George W. Bush watch.

You can never assume anything, of course, but whether he was wearing it ironically or not might be inferred by his hairstyle, clothing, style of glasses, etc. Did he look like a Repuke? On the other hand, if he had streaks of pink hair, he just might be wearing it for the irony -- but you never know.

[LynneSin]

40. Sorry, you don't know Reagan fans like I do

My brotheris a major Reagan fan and to this day they have pictures of him in the house. There are reagan organizations whose sole goal is to get Reagan's name on as many buildings, bridges, schools, airports - hell they want to remove FDR's face from the dime and put Reagan's on it (they also want to put his picture on the bill).

I found irony in the show Desparate Housewives that Bree had a picture of Reagan in her home but this is actually very common. Reagan fans are a unique breed who hero worship him like he's some form of deity.

I highly doubt that your few pieces of Red Army knick knacks could compare to the legion of Reagan fans and how much they patronize this asshole.

BTW, I would think that I'm a die-hard fan of Clinton but I'm not about to create an altar and worship him like Reagan fans do for Reagan

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

30. Illegal? Are you joking?

1st Amendment anyone?

[AccessGranted]

32. Freedom of Speech (and of Watches)

Can't let it get to you. What about the lady who got put off the plane for wearing an anti-Bush t-shirt? You are always going to see somebody doing something, saying something or wearing something that may upset you. My sister died of AIDs and I don't blame the actions of anyone. I blame my sister for her choices and behavior and for not being knowledgeable about how the disease is transmitted. I also blame it on bad luck and bad timing. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person. It was horrible, but it's just the way things went. I miss her, but life goes on and something offensive will always be out there somewhere.

[Skittles]

34. the lady on the plane not working, soliciting tips

the waiter is a fool, and so is his manager

[Ivan Sputnik]

35. He may be ignorant

Many people who don't follow politics or "issues" bought into Reagan's folksy image without realizing who he really was.

You say he's "clearly not rich." Someone may have given him the watch, and he might be wearing it temporarily.

Without knowing more, I think your friend was over-reacting.

[LynneSin]

36. I find myself an excellent tipper but not only would I have jilted him...

...I would have told him exactly why he was being jilted.

I lost my survivor benefits under Reagan's social security reform back in 1986. For those of us who lost a parent when we were young, we received a small social security check from the government which was a major help to a Mom with 2 kids under the age of 18 (I was 14 my brother was actually 18 when my father died in 1981). The benefits were setup so that each child would receive a check until their 18th birthday unless they went to college and the funds would continue. My brother lucked out and got his til he was 21 but I had no such luck. In 1982 I was only in 10th grade and therefore my benefits would be lost when I graduated in 1984. My boyfriend also had lost a parent and for him it meant dropping out of HS and enrolling at the local community college so he could keep his benefits (he was a senior at the time). My mother briefly looked into enrolling me early into college (was was in the gifted programs and figured I could probably be ok taking classes even though I was only 16) but ultimately we felt that intellectually I could have handled it but mentally it would have destroyed me.

Those checks helped many kids get through college after losing a parent at a young age but thanks to Ronald Reagan many didn't make it. I was lucky to have some grandparents and a few small scholarships to get me through college.

So you know, I would have had no problem not leaving a tip for that asshole waiter. And as I not left him a tip not only would I have told him but I would have let management know. It's one thing to be politically active but when it comes to work I leave my politics at home. That's called professionalism

[BigMcLargehuge]

42. ladies and gentlemen

Little Jen has left the building.

BigMcLargehuge
DU Moderator