Welcome to Brother Bus' Wholesome Family Funtime GROTTO!

[short bus president]

Everybody mind your Ps and Qs. There will be no touching, and no talking to one another. And don't you DARE even think about getting in the water, or snapping your fingers for a drink. We don't want to have to put you in "time out." Cookies and milk will be served immediately prior to nap time, at which point everyone must set up his/her little blue mat a minimum of FIVE (5) FEET from any other person. On waking, we'll play hours and hours of "Good Samaritan," followed by an early-evening trip to the retirement home to spongebathe the elderly.

Okay kids! On the count of three, let's all... BEHAVE!

[VelmaD]

1. No! I don't wanta!

*pout*

If I can't get my ass paddled then I'm taking my toys and going home. x(

[short bus president]

3. THAT'S IT!

You're in TIME OUT!

You can come out and rejoin the good boys and girls when you've had some time to think about changing your lascivious "loose woman" ways.

[VelmaD]

4. As if!

And would you really WANT me to change? I thought you liked me just the way I am. Like Mr. Rogers only without pants. ;-)

Surely you can come up with better punishment than a time-out. :eyes:

[short bus president]

9. alright, then - ms. smartmouth

you don't get to come with us to spongebathe the old folks tonight. I'm sorry to have to do it, but your attitude is not nearly wholesome enough. Time out for now, and then no spongebathing. Oh, and no soup kitchen volunteering for you tomorrow, either, young lady... You're in TROUBLE!

[VelmaD]

14. Aw Man!

Some of those old guys are H-O-T.

Gimme me a rich guy with one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. ;-)

[indigo32]

2. Hey Shortbus

hope your feeling alright after that accident.

[short bus president]

6. Thanks!

I think my back's gonna be sore for awhile longer, and my hand isn't fully functional yet, but all in all, I made out much better than the car.

See folks, now THAT'S the kind of uplifting and virtuous discussion we ought to be having in the Grotto, instead of wasting our time talking about... you know... the "S" word.

;-)

[VelmaD]

8. Sanctimonious...

silly...stultifying...slurpee...which "S" word?

[indigo32]

10. ever see the movie "Crash"?

accidents can be sexy you know :wow:

[short bus president]

13. Never saw the movie

but both the HP officer AND the tow-truck guy were giving me a serious "come hither" kind of look...

;-)

[VelmaD]

17. Well, you are in the boonies...

maybe they thought you had a "purty-mouth, boy". :evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

5. My chastity belt is chafing...to whom do I register a complaint?

;-)

[VelmaD]

7. As manager...

"handling" complainers would normally be my job. ;-)

But I'm in time-out right now. :-(

[GOPisEvil]

12. Time out, huh?

I hope you don't miss milk and cookies later. :-)

[VelmaD]

15. I made the cookies this weekend.

Seriously. I baked. And if short bus isn't nicer to me I'm not sending him any in a care package. So there. :P

[GOPisEvil]

19. How domestic!

Never been into baking. Too much measuring. I like throwing ingredients into things whimsically! :D

[VelmaD]

21. I love to bake

My best friend and I baked cookies and watched football. We have very well-balanced masculine and feminine sides. :-)

There's something Zen for me about baking. It's structured and creative at the same time. And some of the recipes I've known for years so they require no mental effort and it frees my mind up. It's like meditating. Very therapeutic.

But I'm still not giving short bus any cookies.

[GOPisEvil]

22. Can I have his share then?

I may feel the need to taunt him at some later date. :P

[short bus president]

24. taunting

makes baby jeebus cry!

;-)

[VelmaD]

25. Sure...

there's a tray of cookies sitting by the receptionsist's desk here in my office. Come on over. :-)

Seriously though, if I have any left from sending out care packages and feeding the philistines at work I'll get some to you if you want. Otherwise, maybe if you're a good boy, I'll bake again before the next Austin get-together. Speaking of which...

[GOPisEvil]

27. I need to figure San Antonio out...

...I need to post a thread on it I guess. I need to see if the folks there are interested.

If the philistines at your office are anything like the philistines here, there will be nary a crumb left.

[VelmaD]

29. Look on the bright side...

the holiday season is upon us and that means lots and lots of baking for me. This weekend was just a little warmup for the main attraction. My best friend and I make tons of cookies and candy and fudge and I'll add you to the list of people who get goodies. I'll feed ya...you need a little fattening up anyway. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

32. I do not!

I need no fattening whatsoever, however you get brownie points for saying I do.

Mmmmmm...goodies...:9

[VelmaD]

34. I hope you've eaten already...

otherwise this could get painful.

Here's the list of what we made last year:
- chocclate chip-toffee bit cookies
- red and green M&M cookies
- white chocolate chip-craisin cookies
- sugar cookies (some iced and decorated)
- oatmeal-raisin-cinnamon chip cookies
- gingerbread men
- chocolate stars
- rum balls
- chocolate fudge
- peanut butter fudge
- butterscotch fudge
- cinnamon fudge
- white chocolate fudge
- divinity

We're looking at adding a couple of things this year. Cranberry swirls and espresso cookies. Not sure yet.
*drool*

[GOPisEvil]

35. Darnit - you edited your title!

I made a funny about not being eaten today. ;-)

Yes, I have eaten lunch. I think I am going to have a diabetic coma just reading that list. :9

[VelmaD]

37. I know...

I saw my typo and didn't want to get in any more trouble with short bus. :-(

Being my friend can be a pain but there are compensations of the pastry variety.

[short bus president]

38. It ain't me, babe

that you've gotta watch out for. I'm just trying to play nice and obey the rules...

;-)

[VelmaD]

40. I know, I know...

and I'm just trying to skirt up to the edge of those rules as much as I can. I don't play nice.;-)

[GOPisEvil]

39. Pastry compensations are a good thing.

Although, free beer isn't bad either! :beer:

[VelmaD]

41. Basically the same thing...

beer is just liquid bread. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

43. Especially Guinness!

:beer:

[VelmaD]

45. It's really no fair...

that we can talk about booze all we want but not sex...aren't they basically the same thing too? ;-)

[short bus president]

11. chafing is dealt with

in the department of venal sins. We can either get you a refit, or we can do you the "Heaven's Gate" way...

[GOPisEvil]

16. I, uh, think I'll go with the refit.

But that means...I'd have to take it off. :scared:

[VelmaD]

18. WOOHOO!

Take it off! Take it off! ;-) *waves 5 dollar bill in your general direction*

[GOPisEvil]

20. I'll donate the $5 to the local abstinence group.

;-)

[short bus president]

23. Dear lord!

Here we are, trying to help you to see the light, and yet you persist in spreading the taint of unholy premarital <s-word>, without benefit of wedlock, and for purposes other than procreation. SHAME ON YOU! One more outburst like that, young lady, and I'll have to ask the Lord to smite you right in your dirty, filthy pottymouth!

[VelmaD]

26. But I have...

other body parts that are so much more desperately in need of (and fun for) smiting. ;-)

[short bus president]

31. you're just not getting the point, dear

those other parts are inherently dirty and evil. Now we all know the Lord Jeebus is perfect, but maybe he messed up just a little bit when he left all of those naughty and wrong bits dangling out in the open like that.

OK, so now that I've explained it to you, you must never speak of, or even think of, those dirty, bad places again. It's just not right, and you'll go to hell for it, sure as you're born.

[VelmaD]

36. But I wasn't born...

I was hatched out of a little blue egg my momma found under a cabbage leaf...at least that's what she always says. *confused look*

And of course those parts are dirty. If they weren't dirty they wouldn't be SO much fun.

[TrogL]

28. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Can somebody give me $1500 bucks? My van blew a head gasket.

[VelmaD]

30. Lemme check..

in the bottom of my bag and in between the couch cushions and I'll get back to you.

:hug: Seriously though, sorry about your van.

[short bus president]

33. heh heh

didja get all the way up to 69, and then blow a rod? ;-)

My apologies to the clever writers at SNL.

[supernova]

42. So, when is Adult Swim?

Heh Heheheheheheh.

[geniph]

44. I'm bored

Anybody wanna go set something on fire?

I never did too well at the "behaving" thing - had a tendency to make sidelong smartass comments that got all the kids around me in trouble for laughing.

[VelmaD]

46. I suppose...

if we can't fuck like rabbits anymore we might as well turn to pyromania. I bet I've got some fireworks stashed around here somewhere too.

*hehehe...fire...fire...*

[geniph]

47. Just call me Trashcan Man!

Ci-bo-la, Ci-bo-la...