Russian chicks dig me, man. but I need an interpeter

[KG]

Hello!
My name is Elvira.
I liked yours profile and I would like to begin correspondence with you.
Probably it is interesting to you, than I liked yours profile?
I cannot answer to you this question. I do not know.
My heart as though has felt something and has prompted me to write to you.
At once I want to tell to you, that I am interested only with serious relations.
If yours profile game you can not answer my letter.
First of all I want to tell about myself that you represented me a little.
To me of 35 years. I live in Russia. In the city of Ruzaevka which is located in the republics of Mordovia.
I know well English language. I can easily speak and write I do not use what translators.
I when was not for the husband and I do not have children.
My growth 167 cm, and weight - 60 kg.
Very negatively I concern to people which abuse alcohol.
I think, what you probably want to see my photo?
I shall necessarily send you the photo and not one if you will answer my letter.
I ask the answer that you wrote to me on my electronic box: xxxxxxx
Very much I hope, that I have interested you and that you write to me your answer to my letter very soon.
It would be very pleasant for me if we shall start to correspond with you.
I shall wait your answer and I hope, that you for a long time will not keep waiting for it.


Once again the name of my electronic box: xxxxxxxx

In hope for fast your answer.

Elvira.

[MrScorpio]

1. Are you for real?

Planning on going to Mother Russia any time soon?

[KG]

3. hot russian chicks looking for green cards.

i get them weekly from my yahoo personals ad.

[radwriter0555]

6. "I hope to love and find nice man with many money..."

"... then I bring my mother, her husband, my brother, his wife, their 4 children and we all live happy in America in your nice house in California Sherman Oaks."

[henslee]

14. Mr. Scorp. what are you doing posting here? You should be working

on your next playlist. I'd like a little Johnny Guitar Watson and maybe some obscure Rufus Thomas, thank you.

[Fox Mulder]

2. She knows the language better than George W. does.

That's for sure.

:)

[In_The_Wind]

4. Best Wishes *giggle*

can we say green card ...

[RebelOne]

5. You had just better steer clear of the Russian women.

I have a friend who met a Russian woman on the Internet. He traveled to Russia, brought her back to the U.S. and married her. She stayed with him for 2 years and left him. She only married him to get to the U.S. I have a Russian friend who tried to warn him what would happen, but he wouldn't listen.

[MrScorpio]

7. That's I say, Go DUTCH

I did, and I've never been happier

[LisaL]

8. And I suppose American women couldn't care less about money?

And of course, they would never dream of divorcing their husband.

[southlandshari]

33. .....

:thumbsup:

[JVS]

22. Did she take money or just leave him?

Because if she didn't take money, he's no worse off than he was when he started.

[bikebloke]

9. They write me all the time

But not with such gooder english. Here's a literary gem I haven't deleted yet:

Hi!!!
I have found your profile on Yahoo Personals.
I liked your profile. I at once have decided to write to you.
As reading of your structure has induced me to desire to get acquainted.
I hope my message remain considered.
Please write to me in any case, if you at all not interested my message.
As I shall look forward to hearing from you. It is very important for me.
I as want to tell to you about myself.
My name - Ludmila, my age - 40 years. I the lonely woman looking for the love.
I have found yours profile interesting to me. It is a pity to me, that you cannot see I wash a photo now.
But I shall necessarily send a photo in reply to your letter.
I hope you will love it. Nevertheless I hope for it.
You can write on mine e-mail: xxxxxxxxxxxxx I shall look forward to hearing from you on it e-mail.
I shall hope that very soon I shall find your letter on mine e-mail.
Please write to me more likely. I shall look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Ludmila.



Once I sent an auto-reply saying they were too far away, just to see what would happen. The next day, another warped english message arrived, saying they were now in my locale. They're scammers. Some after green cards. Others "need money for the flight over". I've read of rubes who've actually sent money. I reckon those suckers deserve it if they're unable to see the scams for what they are.

Which reminds me. I've been weeding my profiles off the personals, since I'm not impressed with the experiment results. Had them everywhere out of curiosity to see what would pan out.

[LisaL]

11. It's sounds awfully similar to the Nigerian scams.

[bridgit]

10. what a coincidence, my name's Elvira too...

http://www.elviramistressofthedark.com

[Deja Q]

12. Her "growth"? Man, if I had cancer, I wouldn't be so smug about it...

[henslee]

13. Dude, you are so in there. Just wire her some cash so she can f ly

over and move right in.

[lpbk2713]

15. Does Elvira work at a Hewlett-Packard helpline?

..... seems like I've spoken to her before.


:eyes:

[DS1]

16. Here you go

Hello!

Hi

My name is Elvira.

Obvious

I liked yours profile and I would like to begin correspondence with you.

You are cute enough for me to abandon my country in the name of capitalism, marry you, and then whore myself out to earn more money, then take half of your possessions after you dump me.

Probably it is interesting to you, than I liked yours profile?

This means I might have sex with you. Once

I cannot answer to you this question. I do not know.

I claim ignorance to lawyers in an expert fashion.

My heart as though has felt something and has prompted me to write to you.

My poon aches for some Las Vegas.

At once I want to tell to you, that I am interested only with serious relations.

I can spell serious correctly, this means you fly me to you.

If yours profile game you can not answer my letter.

Don't play me, motherfucker. You don't even want to know what the Russian Mafia does to people who fuck around.

First of all I want to tell about myself that you represented me a little.

I'm a fine piece of ass you'll only get once.

To me of 35 years. I live in Russia. In the city of Ruzaevka which is located in the republics of Mordovia.

Big props to Mordor!

I know well English language. I can easily speak and write I do not use what translators.

I'm smarter than you, don't try fuck with me.

I when was not for the husband and I do not have children.
My growth 167 cm, and weight - 60 kg.

I'm hotter than any American pig you've slept with.

Very negatively I concern to people which abuse alcohol.

If you pour it, you'd better finish it.

I think, what you probably want to see my photo?

Here's a stock photo from Corbis that I think you might like.

I shall necessarily send you the photo and not one if you will answer my letter.

Copyright infringements do not frighten me.

I ask the answer that you wrote to me on my electronic box: xxxxxxx

It's the only boxyou'll be getting, box muncher.

Very much I hope, that I have interested you and that you write to me your answer to my letter very soon.

Hurry up, sucker.

It would be very pleasant for me if we shall start to correspond with you.

Why are you still reading this? Write me back, asshole.

I shall wait your answer and I hope, that you for a long time will not keep waiting for it.

Like I said, hurry up.

Once again the name of my electronic box: xxxxxxxx

I regard your short term memory skills as insufficient.

In hope for fast your answer.

I hope you do everything fast. This includes the single time you get to have sex with me.

Elvira.

Vladimir.

[jonnyblitz]

24. LMFAO!

"my poon aches for las vegas" :rofl: :rofl:

[DS1]

26. Thank you!

I was hoping someone would read it!

[jonnyblitz]

32. I always read what you write... and look at your pics..,.

you and a few others..i just don't always respond.

[Doctor_J]

17. Why don't you go out with Missy?

that beautiful blond from Watertown, NY has been looking for a date for months. Great smile, great skin, looks to be mid-20's or so. Probably fewer strings attached than Elvira, too.

[KG]

19. I get IMs from the Missys in Watertown bunch. they have web-cams.

:eyes:

[Doctor_J]

20. Really? I can watch Missy live?

damn. Another 3 hrs/wk on the internets.

[henslee]

18. True story. A friend had his hot russian girlfriend stolen by one of his

friends. My friend was heartbroken. In one month, his friend unintentionally got her pregant. She moved in with him. They got married. She became real bossy and let herself go. They had twins, her yappy mother in law from Russia moved in to their tiny apartment with them. All this happened within a year. My friend got over his heartbreak pretty quickly.

[NewJeffCT]

27. became real bossy?

or, did she just keep that side of herself hidden for a bit? or, maybe she was just caught up in the newness of the relationship & wasn't so "bossy" at first.

but, I've also heard stories about those Russian women & how demanding they can be. of course, they can probably learn a few things from Chinese women in that regards. ;-)

[henslee]

28. I hear you. It's a good thing we haven't been flamed yet.

[NewJeffCT]

29. well, my wife

My wife is Chinese, so I always tease her about being a Dragon Lady, or call her Cixi, which was the former Empress of China nicknamed the Dragon Lady.

[JVS]

21. "Very negatively I concern to people which abuse alcohol."

Always with the high standards!

[KG]

23. heh. a russian that doesn't drink? yeah right.

[LisaL]

25. WTF is that supposed to mean?

[XemaSab]

30. She didn't say she didn't drink

Just no "abuse alcohol."

Whatever that means.... :eyes:

[JVS]

34. She said she didn't like people who abuse alcohol

What a stuck up snob!

[Elidor]

31. A distant relative of mine married a russian mail-order bride

The weird part is, my family and I adore her. She's great. We just can't figure out what she sees in our relative, who is a rather sorry specimen.