Have you ever lost respect for friends because of the way...

[Maddy McCall]

they treat other people?

That happened to me today. I've learned one lesson: Progressive political beliefs does not necessarily a kind person make.

:(

[LynneSin]

1. I hear ya Maddy

oh and I know

:cry:

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Unfortunately, I have been in your shoes many times.

And being progressive doesn't necessarily mean kind, the same way that voting republican doesn't necessarily mean unkind.

I not only have lost respect for people, but actually stopped being their friends. I have seen people that I really, really like treat service people with absolute disdain and it is maddening.

[Maddy McCall]

10. Yes, I have, too.

I have seen so-called liberals treat people who give of their time, sweat, and money bully those people into absolute oblivion.

And, like you, I walked away from the friendships. It's disgusting, and it shows that all the talk about feminism and egalitarianism and civility is nothing but blustery bluff.

[Shell Beau]

3. It just goes to show that as much as we think we have in common,

we have that many differences as well!! It can be good and it can be bad!!! x(

[GOPisEvil]

4. Yep.

Sigh...such a waste of energy, too. :(

[FuzzySlippers]

5. Me too..

:cry:

[Misunderestimator]

6. Yes.

:(

[Greyhound]

7. True. Mine was a person that was ultra-liberal and demanded

the same from others, that is until it inconvenienced her, or would cost her a few bucks, then it was "fuck them I got mine, let them get their own".

[Coventina]

8. Are you familiar with the lyrics to "Easy to be Hard"?

It's a song all about that very issue.

It's from the musical "Hair".

[salin]

12. How can people be so heartless?

How can people be so cruel...

Haunting song.

[nashbridges]

9. I had a falling out with a vegan friend

Because he would not stop pestering me about eating meat. It wasn't his message, it was the fact that he was less than nice about it every time he brought it up.

He spoke to me in the same tone you'd use at a child molestor working over your child, and I didn't care for it. He was also rude to waitresses, which drove me nuts.

[Chan790]

38. I can feel that

My brother the omnivore is bad...he likes to tell me what I can eat based on his own views of my diet. "You can't eat that...it's been in the same shopping cart as my steak; it has beef cooties." or declaring that random things in the cupboard (popcorn, peanut butter, cereal) are "meat". When I first became a vegetarian, he used to rub everything in the fridge with a slice of salami or ham everytime I came home for a holiday. Last year he bought a t-shirt that read "For every animal you don't eat, I shall eat three."

I'm never afraid to tell people about my lifestyle or reasons if they ask but these are boundary issues. People feel the need to lecture or rail on other people's diets constantly because they're threatened by them. Militant omnis can be as bad as militant vege(taria)ns.

I've never disowned anybody over it but I've come close.

[Lilith Velkor]

61. Jerks will be jerks

Food or religion or whatever are just excuses shitheads use to bully people.

I've come close to becoming a bigot over this, but I realized where I was headed and pulled back.

Cheers to you, and may the fleas of a herd of cattle nestle lovingly in your brother's buttcrack. :toast:

[salin]

11. Yes

jerks come from all political persuasions.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

13. I learned that in January...

it's sad. Someone can go from pulling you close, defending you and lifting you up to stabbing you in the back, turning it, pulling out the knife and sticking it back in.

People can suck.

[Midlodemocrat]

14. Yes, they can.

I had a 'friend' two doors down that sucked me in by being really nice to my face. Our kids were the same ages, we were pregnant together, the whole shebang.

She was a horrific gossip. To the point where it went well beyond a little dish to really damaging stuff. It made me really, really uncomfortable.

Then, one day, it occurred to me that if she was talking that way about everyone else, she was trashing me too. And, lo and behold, she was.

Never looked back. I feel badly about the time wasted, but the kids all got along well, so it is a wash.

Now, I am much more careful. I really don't share a lot with a lot of people. Too many people are out only for themselves. I remember a great quote from an Oprah show:

You don't have to blow out my candle to make yours burn brighter.

Edit: Had the quote wrong.

[merh]

15. Gosh, how I love the quote you posted.

You don't have to blow out my candle to make yours burn brighter.

Thank you for posting it. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

17. Isn't that a great quote?

I so live by that rule now. So many people in my 'circle' seem hell bent on building themselves up by knocking others down and I refuse to do it.

I won't play that game anymore. If you tell me a story about your kid and what a great job they did in school, I REFUSE to top it, even if I can. Let people bask in their happiness, it costs me nothing.

[merh]

22. I want to grow up to be like you.

I'm still trying and I will try to incorporate this way of thinking in my life. Thank you for sharing it with me. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

27. Believe me, I am still a work in progress.

But, I won't let people shit on each other. I can't stand it. I have always stood up for the underdog and will go to my grave doing so.

[merh]

31. I love you even more!

:hug: Thanks for caring so much. :loveya:

[2bfree]

56. Thank you for posting that.

I really need work in this area. The quote is great.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

16. I love that quote.

And agree w/you whole-heartedly. In the end, mean people get what's coming to them, lonelinss.

[merh]

24. ...

:popcorn:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

32. And - fuck this, too... cuz I don't care what you people think

You get your information from fucking psychotic lunatics. That says more about you than me.

[KitchenWitch]

33. Can I have some popcorn too?

[merh]

35. Sure!

:popcorn: :popcorn:

[Beware the Beast Man]

39. Hey, give me some!

I will not be ignored! :popcorn:

[merh]

40. Oh, sorry, didn't mean to ignore you

:popcorn:

[Name removed]

21. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Shine]

18. Absolutely I have.

And the flip side has happened, too. Where my respect for them has GROWN because of how they treat other people.

It goes both ways....

In the end, only Kindness matters.

[KitchenWitch]

19. Agreed

I love the song that quote comes from.

[Shine]

36. Ah, you recognized it.

:thumbsup:

I love that song by Jewel. In fact, I'd like to have that song played at my memorial someday.....waaaaay down the road, hopefully. :)

[KitchenWitch]

45. Let's see

You are an Aries Dragon, you like Jewel...woohoo!

We are almost Twins!

[Shine]

50. Yes, and best of all...

I'M a Witch, too. :)

:woohoo:

Plus, don't we have the whole two-kids-thing in common, too? You're boy's bit older than mine, if I recall...

[KitchenWitch]

51. true enough

So ironic!

:rofl:

[Jokerman]

20. I once worked for a "progressive" lawmaker.

I respected his political views but I couldn't stand the way he treated his employees. After I joined the staff I found out his entire staff had turned over twice during the campaign. I could only stand a few months with him before I moved on as well.

[salin]

30. Indiana "progressive" lawmaker

just thought I'd add the qualifier - all things being relative and all ;-) :hi:

[Jokerman]

37. This guy was pretty liberal, even for a hoosier.

At times though, I had to wonder if it was all an act. His district had a large number of union voters who he would suck up to while treating his own employees like property.

[salin]

44. sadly

I heard similar tales of a few congressional dems in dc back in the 80s.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

23. I don't have any respect for my friends in the first place.

:evilgrin:

Seriously though, I actually haven't had that happen to me. I'm a bit overly selective in my friends.

[Divameow77]

25. "A person who is rude to the waitress

is not a nice person" or something like that.

Saw that in a fortune cookie once.

[nashbridges]

28. It DOES tend to ring true

I don't think I've ever met anybody who was consistently rude to waitstaff and also a pleasant person.

[ernstbass]

26. oh yes

It's very sad to reach this realization, isn't it?

[salin]

29. Guy I worked with back in California

talked too much, but seemed like a nice progressive guy, and a helpful colleague.

After his wife had their second child... he kept this rather creepy picture of her breast feeding at his desk. The subject wasn't creepy, but the picture almost was so focused on the exposed breast that it made some of us a tad uncomfortable.

He fashioned himself to be a femminist - but after two colleagues had gone through childbirth - he made a big deal over his being able to take family leave ... and then compared the experience of the male partner to the woman giving birth. (Not saying anyone had a problem with him taking time off... just that his comparisons that got increasingly vocal seemed to be diminishing the physical realities women go through in pregnancy and childbirth.)

Eventually a number of the women in the office started going out of their/our way to avoid being alone with him. It was so covert, but there was just something off about his dealings with women.

Then we learned he was cheating on his wife (who just gave childbirth at this time).

Ugh. In this case the loss of respect happened over time - but when the opinion turned - it turned hard.

[Chovexani]

34. Yeah

It's a hard pill to swallow. :(

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

41. Did I mention... fuck it?

[Maddy McCall]

46. Well, you should know about that, shouldn't you?

LOL. Pot, meet kettle. :rofl:

[redqueen]

42. I wish I knew what was going on ...

:(

Anyways, yes I have.

[Shell Beau]

48. I know how you feel. I am always out of the loop. But

sometimes I think it is for the best!! :hi:

[progmom]

55. a little clueless here myself i think

:shrug:

[Taverner]

59. Trust me, you're luck you don't RQ

Think "Mean Girls" without the jokes and maturity.

[redqueen]

66. I haven't seen that movie.

Should I?

[hfojvt]

43. what did I do now?

Are you talking about one incident, or a pattern?
RU saying I need to resign my membership?
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/ :o

[rbnyc]

54. it's me

'cause I slept with an old boyfriend after he married a horrible woman.

[salin]

58. gee whiz, rbnyc, you are ALWAYS at the heart of dustups in the lounge!

NOT! :hi: :loveya:

[pitohui]

47. sure

i hope yr bad experience is a one-time thing, you know, we prob. all have bad days, i have a friend who is normally sweet but ever so often he really bitches out the help, he has really worked hard to improve this & almost never slips up any more but he used to embarrass even himself by his behavior in public, it was like jekyll & hyde, however, i would not drop this friend because he acknowledges the behavior & has worked hard to change it

however, i've known people who try to make me feel special by treating others like crap in front of me, that is not the way to do it, that just makes me think hmmmm, sociopath, for instance, a friend who was a pathological liar & gossip, she tried to make it abt "we're special, so we're in on it" but we decided we didn't like those games & we ended the friendship, this wasn't a matter of a person occasionally making a mistake & venting some temper, this was a matter of a person who lied for entertainment & who had no interest in change

[mac56]

49. To quote Dave Barry:

If someone is nice to you, but rude to the waitress, they are not a nice person.

[Xithras]

52. Lost one of my best friends because of the way he treated his ex.

I was friends with the guy for many, many years, but gave up on him when he started playing custody games with his wife during their divorce. The crap he pulled out of sheer spite sickened me so badly that I just stopped talking to him completely.

The funny thing is, he was otherwise an incredibly nice guy and a loyal friend. Still, when he decided that he didn't want his kids to see their mother anymore, and then started launching a ton of crap her way to make her look like a psychotic nutjob, I couldn't deal with him anymore (he was successful, by the way...his ex hasn't seen their son in 10 years).

[Maddy McCall]

62. I have seen that, too.

That is a terrible story.

I have abandoned friends, too, because of the way they treated their SOs and children.

:(

[sundog]

53. i am equally horrible to everyone

even you maddy :P

:pals:

[Maddy McCall]

57. You're only nice to me during Shark Week...

because I patronize you with cheap, swimming maneater graphics and laugh about Zuni getting his arm ripped off. :D

Hey, but I'm easy, and I never pretended to be any different.

:loveya:

[nini]

60. I think I'm glad I'm out of the loop here

I'm so confused :cry:

[WindRavenX]

64. I am lost too

Maybe we don't want to know :scared:

[VelmaD]

63. I've lost respect for a helluva lot of people around here...

over the last few months that's for damn sure.

[Taverner]

65. Ahhh I guess it's good you never had much resepect for me to begin with

;)

Hard to lose what you don't already have ;)

[southlandshari]

67. Locking

;)