Today was difficult...war hit home for me...

[Maddy McCall]

First of all, I got news this morning that one of the dead from the helicopter crash this past weekend was from my hometown...a 21-year-old only son who attended school where my son attends. It's a small town, so everyone knows everyone, and one's loss is the loss of all. I was all broken up about that...it was all I thought about on the long drive to work.

Then, this afternoon, about 5 minutes after I started lecture, one of my male students came in the door and up to the lectern to tell me he wouldn't be in class today. I was taken aback...knew it was important because he is an EXCELLENT student who has never disrupted class--has never even been tardy. I knew he is in the National Guard. I said, "What's wrong??" He had red, teary eyes. "I just got activated for Iraq," he said.

I told him to come out in the hallway with me. We walked out, and I asked him if there was anything I could do for him. He said, "Will you give me an incomplete so that I can finish my work when I get back?" I told him, "I won't give you an incomplete. You have maintained an A in here, so consider your course grade an A for the semester, on one condition--you keep my email address with you and stay in contact to let me know how you are doing."

Then I walked back into the classroom. I have great relationships with my students--our classroom environment is very open and informal. So, the nosy girl who sits on the second row asked, "What's wrong?" I told the class that we would have an empty seat for the rest of the semester, and I told them why. They gasped--looked at each other as if in disbelief. The war came home to them today, too. Class was very low-key today, needless to say.

I am still sad about this. It is almost like seeing a relative leave--and this is only two weeks before the semester ends. I teach at a university--I don't see how elementary and secondary teachers deal with the sad situations they encounter.

So, in a nutshell, I lost a hometown boy to death this morning and a student to the war this afternoon. All totaled, I have six former students in Iraq. Tonight, I need a glass of wine.

[Droopy]

1. Make that two glasses of wine, jchild

I think I'm going to have a couple myself after that story. I'm sorry to hear of your losses.

[Maddy McCall]

3. Thanks, Droopy.

:toast: :cry:

[Purveyor]

2. Made me tear up...

Pray to God for this Country! We are at our "darkest hour".

[Maddy McCall]

4. Dark indeed.

And my young invincible students today saw just how fragile it all is.

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. we've lost 2 soldiers from Long Island

so sad. :(

[Maddy McCall]

7. Mississippi has lost 8 all totalled.

I'm sorry for your city's loss.

[Interrobang]

6. How awful for you!

I wish I knew what to say... I'm sorry about your bright and promising student, and I hope he gets through all right, and I hope the other boy's parents find some sort of solace somewhere. Good luck.

[Maddy McCall]

8. I just hope he stays in touch through email.

Some students have a greater impact on educators' lives than vice versa. This was one of those students--a bright young man indeed. In class, he was a little bashful, but when he had something to say, his shyness subsided and he was quite articulate. Some students don't have to tell you they enjoy your class; you can just sense it in their posture and receptiveness while you lecture. He was the kid, who, when I lecture, never took notes but always listened intently as if I were telling him a fairy tale. And then he aced my tests--a kid who was there to learn--to expand his vision.

The boy who died has Christian parents who are depending on their faith and community to bring them through this. Right now, they are in shock...I wonder if anger will follow when the shock subsides.

Thanks for your comments, Interrobang. :-)

[never cry wolf]

9. Made me tear up too...

I have been lucky so far in that I have had no losses personally or that have hit home, but I do have a son who turns 18 in a month. He is a great kid and devoted progressive, the threads today about the reinstatement of the draft have me in shock.

[Maddy McCall]

10. What? Tell me that the rumors have not come true...

I need to venture over to GDF and see what you're talking about.

Steviet, hold you son near. You never know what the future may bring. :-(

[never cry wolf]

27. Here's some links

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=733212

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=732172

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=716016

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=729225

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=729276

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=729100

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=732121

My God, I did a search on "draft" and all these and more came up, I read a few of them but missed a few also. Nothing concrete, all rumors, but I hear the drum beats. I shall always hold my son near and he will NEVER serve for the forces of imperialism or the BFEE. We already have a plan, of sorts.

[Maddy McCall]

35. Thanks for the links, steviet...

I have read most of those. I am concerned too.

[never cry wolf]

41. I have only one male child...

...soon to be of draft age, you must have dozens every year, though through coaching and my sons friends I have dozens of soon to be of age cannon fodder I care about as well.

[Maddy McCall]

47. Yes...and you look out across the classroom and into their eyes...

and you can only think, what a loss. What a loss--for each of them--if they were to go, what a loss.

[catzies]

52. Wow, nice work, steviet_2003.

Hug for you and your son. May he never know danger. :hug:

[Lizz612]

30. Draft discussion

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=716016">Draft discussion in GD, one of them at least.

:cry: I got teary eyed too.

[Maddy McCall]

36. I'll go check that out in a sec.

It seems like a nightmare, doesn't it.

[never cry wolf]

42. Link didn't work for me...n/t

[UrbScotty]

11. Hoping for the best, jchild.

The world doesn't need to lose a straight-A student.

[Maddy McCall]

13. The world doesn't need to lose ANY of the young men and women

who are over there or headed there. It is sad all the way around.

[cmd]

12. It's a rotten time in the USA

One of my very dear friends has a grandson serving in the reserves. He is in special forces and is continually moving about the country. He wants nothing sent because he has to carry everything with him. Paul has a new son who is now about six month old and a two year old son who barely remembers his father. The boys are growing up without their father.

These young men did not enlist to act as toys for the emperor. I feel so sorry for all of them. I'll be keeping your young man in my thoughts.

[Maddy McCall]

14. Thanks, coalminersdaughter...

and I will do the same with your friend's grandson's family.

[JohnOneillsMemory]

15. Teach your children well. Arm them with the ability to think.

I'll lift a glass to your losses and share:
My mother teaches history at a university. I've been stoking her sense of outrage over current events and she sees the parallels with the Roman Empire and shows them to her students.

She now starts each semester by handing out the Bill of Rights and then the 'new improved' version 2.0 as mutilated by Ashcroft. Her students are stunned with disbelief.

She was recently trying to make the point that 'credibility of sources matter' when students write a paper for her class. To illustrate, she asked whether the invasion of Iraq was justified and pointed out that any one of them could be drafted and sent to Baghdad in the next few years based on the evidence for it. They got the point.

She says that she and her teacher friends have noticed that students are coming to them from high school with even less perspective and motivation than usual for the last couple of years. I tell her that it's depression and confusion since 9/11 and their vulnerability to the TV Nation lie matrix being spun to get them to sign up and ship out.

So she does what she can to help them think critically and take control of their own lives. That's my mom.

[Maddy McCall]

18. Your mom's teaching methods are very similar to mine...

We have discussed everything you mentioned in your post, including the Bill of Rights, the Patriot Act, the justifications for the invasion, and the possibility of conscription.

And I have noticed the post-911 differences too.


By the way, I teach history too...tell your mom hi from another eccentric idealist. :-)

[bleedingheart]

16. It just saddens me to think of the wonderful young people

who are going to war to fight for corporate oil.

[Maddy McCall]

19. A whole generation being affected...

yes, it is sad. So many of them have not been aware of the implications for their generation. I have a feeling my sixty-five found out today.

:-(

[Padraig18]

17. 2 of this weekend's dead were from Illinois.

IL has born a heavy burden throughtout this war. :(

[Maddy McCall]

21. Yes--I am afraid all cities and towns will feel it before it's over...

And it is a powerless feeling to know there is nothing you can do to stop it, or change it--if I could stop it, I would have long ago.

[Zomby Woof]

20. (unprintable) and my sympathies

Thanks for sharing your frustrating amd heartbreaking day with us. I don't know what to say, but I will continue to work for peace, and send my best wishes. May your student and others near to all of us stay out of harm's way.

[Maddy McCall]

22. Thanks Zomby...

If we as american citizens have any power at all, it is to keep protesting this war and demanding peace from our warmongering administration.

[Elidor]

23. A silent prayer for each of them, and all the others

There is no more tragic and stupid waste of bright young people than shipping them off to kill and be killed for some lunatic's grandiose visions of empire.

[Maddy McCall]

24. Yes. Thanks.

[submerged99]

25. have relatives and friends there as well

I noticed your pics and was wondering if you're "native american." just curious is all.

I have some relatives and friends over there as well. A person from my tribe was hit in an explosion but survived. In the first gulf war, I didn't really no very many people that were over there, but this time is different. Whenever I hear of another death, I wonder if it's someone I know but that hasn't been the case so far.

keep your spiritis up and say a special prayer for your friends tonight.

[Maddy McCall]

31. Yes...my maternal great-grandmother

was Ani-Yun-Wiyah or Cherokee. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, though.

What tribe are you associated with?

Thanks for your thoughts, submerged, and welcome to DU if I haven't told you before.

[submerged99]

43. thank you

Im a member of the Kiowa Nation. Thanks for the welcome. It's the first one I've received.*L* I just wanted to drop you a quick note with a little encouragement. Take care.

[never cry wolf]

45. Welcome to DU sunmerged99

Sorry you just got your first welcome, here's your second.

:hi:

[Bake]

26. Tears for your loss, and prayers for your student.

Beyond that, I'm too . . . to say more. God bless.

Bake

[Maddy McCall]

32. Thanks, Bake...

It took me the long drive home to process everything that has happened in the past few days. I guess posting about it on DU is another way to "get it out of my system" or off my shoulders.

[Solly Mack]

28. Oh damn, I'm so sorry

It just keeps coming and coming....

(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))

all my love!!!

[Maddy McCall]

33. Yes, it does...

I just keep thinking about the disruption of people's lives...that is what is so disturbing to me.

Thanks. :loveya:

[GOPisEvil]

29. I have always disliked Bush and his evil minions...

...but now, as they rip families apart and turn people's lives inside out, I have worked up to healthy, seething hatred for all of them.

I wish your students, former students, and everybody else well in this living hell.

[Maddy McCall]

37. 'preciate it, GOPisEvil

My heart goes out to these kids. Two of my students are married now--both in officer training school for the air force, I believe. Seems so dangerous--difficult to plan a future in these times.

[harrison]

34. jchild, we always feel a little isolated in Mississippi for a host of

reasons, so I feel your pain. Despite our reputation, so many kids in Mississippi are just kind of naive, especially in our small towns. Man, oh man, this is so sad.

[Maddy McCall]

39. I agree...

And they have a sense of patriotism and honor that southerners instill in their kids. Then kids grow up, sign up, go to war, and some come home dead, and parents mourn and are angry...I just can't explain it or find reason or rhyme.

But I find something to respect in all my students--very few give me grief--so I care about their lives and pray for their future, and they all touch me an a very special way.

[proud patriot]

38. Oh man , what a somber story

:loveya: It's hard when it hit home .

[Maddy McCall]

40. You know, Patriot...

It is hard to hear of a death, but that is a done deal and can't be changed.

But when a smart, nice kid approaches you with tears in his eyes to tell you he will be leaving, you just pray to god he comes home in one piece, and you wonder what you could do to help him.

It is difficult. The worst part of war is the lives it destroys.

[never cry wolf]

44. Even if he makes it home safely...

...he will be changed forever. He will never be the same person, hopefully it will be a learning experience and he will return with even more fervor for learning and complete his studies. But he will carry the experiences to his grave, and I dare say most of the experiences will be quite unpleasant.

[Maddy McCall]

46. Yes...I have one young friend who served in the 3rd Infantry div

from February to October. He came home and wouldn't talk to his family--when they asked why, he told them, "I saw horrors over there you couldn't comprehend and I don't want to pollute our family with it."

He still won't talk about it. Maybe one day he will, and I will invite him to speak to my class.

[never cry wolf]

48. It is not just the physical damage...

and it's not just the potential personal harm they could come to and the fear that all the entails. Killing or trying to kill another human being would be enough to give me nightmares for life. Just imagine if you were ordered to toss a grenade into a building and went inside and found, I can't even describe what it could be. Even seeing the results of the damage what someone else on "our" side had inflicted.........

sorry, I am just seething now......

FUCK shrub, the BFEE, the PNAC may all of em be damned to hell!!

on edit: as usal, spelun.

[Maddy McCall]

50. You're right...war takes a mental toll on all involved.

The kid about whom I posted above only mentioned one incident that he had difficulty coping with. A US tank rolled over a four-year-old little Iraqi girl--he saw it happen, as well as the aftermath. He is having difficulty dealing with such images in his mind.

[fishnfla]

49. well ma'am, thats a heavy tale for sure

Hopefully he will stay in touch with you, maybe DU can adopt the guy and send him stuff. I'm all in.

[Maddy McCall]

51. When I get more info, I will surely post it...

as long as he agrees for it to be made public.

And I would love to know that we could do something for his morale.

[greatauntoftriplets]

53. Ah jchild, I know how you feel.

My only nephew is 23 and got out of the Army last June. His old infantry unit is being sent to Afghanistan in January. I am thrilled that he dodged that bullet, but he has mixed feelings. Now, he is in the National Guard. No call-up so far, but we never know. It is something we live with every day -- even his 91-year-old grandmother. I understand your sadness.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

54. ~hugs~ for you...

I'm sorry for the sense of futility you must feel. Here's to your student :beer:

[BurtWorm]

55. That's such a painful story, jchild.

I felt it. I'll be thinking of you and your student. I hope he stays safe.

[alwynsw]

56. Empathy here

My wife taught at a middle school near Ft. Knox until she retired last year. Living and working this close to the post has led to us developing relationships and friendships with many soldiers and their families. My wife's classes were about 30% military dependents. We've been through similar situations and feel your grief.

In reply to your thought about elementary and secondary teachers - it's tough - very tough. There's nothing you can say or do to ease the pain of a 13-year-old whose mother or father was killed in combat or in training. Dead is dead, regardless of 'how". (We've lost more friends and parents of students to training than combat. Military service is inherently dangerous, especially at a post primarily focused on tank warfare. 180 lb. humans don't fare well in fights with 60,000 lb. tanks.)

My wife does what she can with the kids. The military community rallies around the family. I console my wife. Everyone grieves.

Regardless of our thoughts concerning this war, its leadership, or the reason for it, the men and women in harm's way and their families must be remembered in our prayers. Our military is not inherently evil. Our military is necessary. We can only work toward electing the best leadership we can - not only for the military, but for all reasons.

Enough disjointed rambling. We both grew up near Ft. Campbell in western KY. We have friends and family there to visit and comfortlater today and through the weekend who were affected by recent deaths in Iraq.

[Aristus]

57. I'm sorry to hear that, jchild.

I'll be praying for your student; you did a wonderful thing for him. I hope he stays in touch. You are a brilliant and loving mentor. I'm proud of you. Hang in there.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

58. Your student probably thanks God that he can tell at least one

person that didn't mindlessly send him off to an oil war with her vote nor her conscience. Just know that what you said to him today, he will most likely remember for the rest of his life...it was, in all probability, that much of a significant emotional event for him to have your support today.

[soleft]

59. Thank you for your courage

I will keep him in my thoughts.

[areschild]

60. Sometimes when I read posts such as yours

I just don't know what to say....so I usually just read and weep. I'm hurting so deeply for those young people going off to war for the likes of the evil scumbags that have seized our Country. I also hurt for the ones left behind who can only weep and pray to their God for the safe return of their loved ones. My heart is breaking.

[MissMillie]

61. I fear for our youth

the lousy economy has them all thinking that the military is a secure job, or a way to get their education paid for.

I hope you can find some sense of peace through all this.

[Richardo]

62. OMG, jchild...

Peace be with you, the guardsman and your class. They're lucky to have you.