Dear Abby

[Ohio Dem]

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. One of my sisters is married to my best customer. My father and mother have recently been arrested for selling heroin and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Dear Worried

No. That cousin will lead her to think you come from a dysfunctional family.

[Ohio Dem]

2. Thanks

That's what I was thinking, too.

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

[AWD]

3. Oh.....MAN!

That's a new one....good job, Ohio dem!

[GainesT1958]

4. Like your new bumper sticker, AWD!

Looks good to me! :D

:kick:

B-)

[AWD]

6. The fabulous nostamj's work....

....not too shabby, huh?

[sinkingfeeling]

5. Go Buckeyes!! I, however, won't watch...

because, since I left Ohio, everytime I watch them play, they lose!!

[AWD]

7. You are FORBIDDEN!!!!

Thanks for upholding your superstition for the good of the Buckeyes.

[sasquatch]

8. Dear Abby tell worried about ruputation

To avoid telling her about that cousin at all costs. If he visits just tell her that he's a "slow guy" from the neiborhood that is abanded and dillusional. Explain that you treat him like family so he'll feel better about himself.
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GO BUCKS!!