10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong (SARCASM!)

[LynzM]

Figured I'd add the disclaimer so people didn't put me on ignore without even reading this... :)

From Craig's list:

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[ghostsofgiants]

1. Haha, that's excellent.

[LynzM]

2. I thought so...

I mean, I know so many god-fearin' fundies who would refuse to have glasses, use airconditioning, or ride in cars :eyes:

[progmom]

3. nominated

:hi:

[LynzM]

6. Cool...

I should add, I didn't write it, I stole it from Craig's list! :)

[DS1]

4. My ignore list is an elite corps of stupidity

You are safe :pals:

[LynzM]

5. Aw thanks, dude

Coming from you, that means a lot :)

[DS1]

7. no problem

great post, btw

I'm not gay, and have no intentions of becoming gay, but I also don't give a rat's ass if someone I know is gay. Different strokes for different folks.

Except for that meegbear guy, I think he want's to slip me some roofies :hide:

[LynzM]

8. LOL

Yeah, you gotta watch out for Meegbear! :rofl:

I'm going to go edit the post... I didn't write it, just got if off Craig's list. But I'm with you, why should it matter what someone's sexual orientation is?

[Fleshdancer]

9. I'm going to memorize every sarcastic response on this list....

trust me, I'm going to need every one of these for when I visit my mother-in-law over xmas. :(

on edit: my "e" button doesn't want to work today.

[LynzM]

11. Good plan

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that kind of attitude :( :hug:

[samplegirl]

10. I guess so we

can pay less at the gas pumps???????Not
:sarcasm:

[LynzM]

12. LOL, right?

:hi: How're you doing, dude?

[Cannikin]

13. nominated

[LynzM]

14. Cool

:hug:

[NNadir]

15. I have changed my mind on gay marriage.

#5 convinces me that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.

Brittany's first marriage has deep spiritual meaning for me. I hope she, her first husband and her second husband will all be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for the profound way that they have handled this very important matter that bears heavily on the humanity of all of us.

By the way, I am supporting Brittany and Kevin for co-Presidents in 2008. I believe we should change the constitution to allow this, the sooner the better.

[uppityperson]

16. Very good. thank you.

What is Craigs List?

[LynzM]

18. You're welcome!

Craig's list is a little of everything... apartment offerings, pets, job listings, stuff for sale, services, gigs, discussion board, mostly divvied up by city. This was off the Hartford one.

www.craigslist.com

[Brewman_Jax]

17. That's excellent

kick and nominated

[LynzM]

21. Cool

Thanks!

[Ontheinternets]

19. Everybody will turn gay, ya know.

:sarcasm:

[LynzM]

20. Oh of course...

Anyone exposed to anything other than what they're inclined toward or wired for will automatically change their minds. That's why gay people stop being gay once they see lots of heterosexuals. :sarcasm: too, of course.