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man4allcats Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-20-05 04:50 AM
Original message
Ya really gotta love Bill...
Edited on Sun Nov-20-05 05:11 AM by anotheryellowdog
I received this from my brother. In my view, it is pretty funny even though I am a big Bill Clinton fan. Herewith:

Admission Policy


It was getting a little crowded in Heaven so God decided to change the admission policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12:01pm the first person came to the gate of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out on the balcony and noticed there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall, and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.

In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it and pushed it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him. The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So the Angel announced, "Okay, Sir, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven" and let him in.

A few seconds later, the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald Trump. "Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to know what your day was like when you died."

Trump said, "No problem, but you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercise. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony just below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cursing and stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm lying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me killing me instantly.

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, Mr. Trump" and he lets him enter.

A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell me what it was like the day you died."

Clinton replies, "Okay, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."



Eited for Syntax (Freepers: Don't worry. You don't need to know what it means. It has no bearing on the punch line.)

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Err Donating Member (887 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-20-05 05:09 AM
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1. ...
:spray: :rofl:
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