So I've moved to Connecticut...

[Pale Blue Dot]

In most ways, this was the easiest decision I've ever made, but in one way it was the hardest. Thanks to DU, I've met and fallen in love with the most spectacular woman I have ever known. It's like someone told me to describe my perfect woman, and then said "I'm going to give you all of that, plus a little bit more." She makes me feel loved, happy and safe, and she returns all of the love and affection I give to her. She makes me laugh, she laughs at my jokes (a miracle unto itself), and she understands my neurosis. So it was mostly a new brainer to move in with her. Wouldn't you want to be around that all of the time?

The one catch is that in order to do this I had to move 200 miles away from my 10-year-old son. Because of the nature of my job, I only had custody of him every third weekend anyway, and that's not going to change. I'm also going to remain the Cub-master of his Cub Scout troop through the end of the school year, when he will move on to Boy Scouts. The only thing that's really going to change will be that I won't be able to visit during the week one day for an hour or two as I had since the divorce. Still, it was a hard choice to make, and after 2 months of being strong, he completely broke down as I was leaving today.


It sucks that something that brings me so much joy has to cause anyone pain, especially my son, who's a wonderful, kind, loving boy who I am extremely proud of. I will continue to call him nightly, and we will have a webcam set up to that he can see me whenever he wants. Plus, he now has several (almost) brothers and sisters. But I give you all permission to nag me whenever I post :"Finnfan, are you being a good Dad?" I don't want to let him down as a father.

I feel like I've found my true love. My soulmate. I know that she feels the same way too. I hope that you'll wish us luck and send good vibes for my son. In exchange, I hope that all of you someday can feel the amount of love and happiness that I feel right now.

[tjdee]

1. How did you guys meet again? Was it a DU meetup?

Obviously I "know" your paramour, and I know you two are together, but I missed *when*. Was this like one of those drunken matcom weekends? ;) Hmm. But that would mean you'd have been in Boston....

Hmm.

Glad you're in CT, I feel for your son....but if mom and dad are happy, the kids have a better chance of getting there too.

Yay!

(Also, I'm consumed by jealousy.)

[Pale Blue Dot]

3. Thanks. Here's some background.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3526593

I knew right from that day that I was hopelessly in love with her.

I hope you find yours some day. :loveya::thumbsup:

[tjdee]

20. How sweet!

I hope you two are very happy.

[NewJeffCT]

2. Good luck to both of you

I'm sorry that your son had to go through that. However, kids at that age can often be remarkably resilient. Not always, but often.

and, come hell or high water, you make that 200 mile drive up to or down to wherever to see him.

Tell your soulmate I said "hello" as well.

[Pale Blue Dot]

4. Thanks. I will.

We'll look for you at the supermarket. :D

[NewJeffCT]

18. I'm there often enough

But, I was not in Target on Friday like last year the day after Thanksgiving. (where somebody first saw me)

Where did you move from, may I ask?

I'm still waiting to meet my first DUer in person.

[Kat45]

5. That's great. You've got yourself a great lady.

I'm happy for you both. Sending you both a great big virtual hug. :hug:

[Pale Blue Dot]

9. Yes I do.

Thanks for the hug.

[LaurenG]

6. Congratulations to you both

You deserve to be happy. Being happy is the greatest gift you can give to your child. They learn by example and loving somone is a perfect way to teach them love. Hang in there.

I have not seen her around for a long time. Please give her my best wishes and tell her hello from me even though I doubt she'll remember who I am. :toast:

[Pale Blue Dot]

10. I will. Thanks.

:D

[Amaya]

7. i'm so happy for you both!

we will get together soon :) :hi:

[Pale Blue Dot]

12. I'm anxious to meet you!

She's napping now, but I'll make sure she sees this when she wakes up. :D

[LynzM]

8. To quote a great movie, "I'm happy and sad for you"

I'm very happy for you guys that it works out for you to move up here, and that everything is so good for you both! :bounce:

I'm sad for you that it means being further from your son, but I know you'll continue to be there for him the best you can, and 200 miles isn't too far to go at the drop of a hat, if he really needs you to be there!

[Pale Blue Dot]

13. I will. I can't let him down.

Thanks for all your kind words. :thumbsup:

[bigwillq]

11. Good for you!

:hug:

I do feel for your son but I know you will do the best you can to make it work out.

May I ask what part of CT?

I live in the New Haven area. Maybe we can plan a meetup! :hi:

[Pale Blue Dot]

15. A meetup is definitely doable

How're you doing, neighbor? :hi:

[bigwillq]

17. I'm well.

Busy with work. What else is new.

I think you'll like CT. It's a cool state. The winter suck but otherwise I enjoy living here.


Oh, other things about CT-it's close to NYC, Boston, the Cape, etc. Lots to do.

I don't know where you lived before so I don't know how much of a transition it will be adjusting to life in CT.

[In_The_Wind]

14. Welcome Back Finnfan!

I'm happy for the two of you.

The quality of your time spend with your son will carry you through your time apart. Three weeks isn't forever especially with the help of a webcam.

[Pale Blue Dot]

16. Thanks!

It's really not going to be terribly different than it has been. I think it's mostly the psychological idea that I'm no longer a half hour away.

It's good to be back. :hi:

[fight4my3sons]

19. That is great!

When I was growing up my dad lived in NY and I lived in Texas. I saw him for seven weeks in the summer and spoke to him once a week on the phone. I tell you, I could not wait for his calls. He means the world to me now. I am a "daddy's girl" even though we were apart for so many years. Keep up the contact. I wish I had the internet and web cam back then to keep in touch. I remember that letters from him were very important also. It doesn't sound like you are going to let him down as a father at all. I think that your son will be happy knowing that you are happy. Best of luck to you in your new home!

[Zomby Woof]

21. Congrats on the move!

I don't doubt that you will always do right by your son. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

22. I'm really, really happy for you and Sarah.

I think you made the right decision for the long run. Your son's a smart cookie, and he knows you'll always be a part of his life.

[merh]

23. Congratulations Finnfan

I am so happy for both of you. :toast:

Give my best to your beloved and may you have a wonderful, happy life together.

:grouphug:

It's good to see you back! :hi:

[Redstone]

24. Good deal for you and Miss *; tough deal on the kid.

But given that you came up on the short end of the custody / visitation situation, I don't suspect that it'll be much more traumatic for your kid than it already was.

But do your best to be there for your son as much as you possibly can. 200 miles isn't that far to drive, is it?

And pass along to you-know-who that I'm damned happy to see things turning out so well for her. And for you, too; I don't know you as well as I do her, but if she likes you that much, you must be an OK guy.

With any luck, we'll have a mini-gathering of New England DUers at casa Redstone next summer (yes, including kids), and I hope to meet you then if not sooner.

Congrats to both of you.

Redstone

On edit: Perfectionist enough? I just HAD to fix the capitalization in that one word...

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

25. My wife and I are CT peeps - where ya movin'?

We wish you the best as always!

[terrya]

26. This is so fucking heartbreaking

That you had to move so far away from your son. I'm so sorry, Finnfan.

I do wish you well with your soulmate. It's...so rare and wonderful...to find that special someone, isn't it? Lord...it took me so long to find mine.

I only wish you and your lady many years of happiness together. From the bottom of my heart.

Terry

[sleipnir]

27. Connecticut is where part of my soul still resides.

It's a beautiful land with much to offer and amazing, friendly people. I left a huge part of myself there, and I was only a resident for a year and a half. I think that if I were to live anywhere again, it would be in Connecticut. It's hard to state what so amazing about that state, but nature, history, beauty, the ocean, (not jam packed like New York or Mass.) are a few. A good part of me is still there and I'm glad for it! Enjoy, but take advantage, there's so much to see and so little space! One day 3 years ago, in 4 hours I drove the entire state and saw so much!

[newyawker99]

28. Finn, I hope this all works out for you and your son.

I can't imagine you being a bad father. Your
son and your girlfriend sound like great
people.


:loveya: :hug:

[fudge stripe cookays]

29. Well, I hope it works out for you guys.

Because if it doesn't, you will be resented the rest of your life for it.

I've been in your son's position. It's not fun having a parent choose a mate over you. My hell lasted for 10 years, and fucked up most of what was supposed to be the best part of my life.

Make sure to remember that he is ALWAYS your son. No matter how much you love someone, they are not related to you by blood. You have a responsibility to him.

fsc