Question about pic threads — mostly for the wimmens

[Oeditpus Rex]

Are compliments such as "You're hot" appreciated?

It's not something I ever say — but then, I wonder if maybe I'm a bit too reserved or something. I'm more apt to say "You're quite lovely" or something, or maybe "Oy! :drags chin across floor:"

What sort of compliments do you like to hear about your photos?

(Guys, feel free to weigh in. I'm more intersted in the female POV, for reasons I hope are obvious.)

[LeftyMom]

1. I wouldn't mind

but I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak.

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. Really?

Amazing. I had no idea.



O8)

[LeftyMom]

4. I hide it well.

:eyes:

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. ROFL!

Anything I could say would just suck after that. :rofl:

[ForrestGump]

15. She does

I didn't see a braless picture of her until...um...actually, that was the first picture I saw of her. Bang goes that theory. Scratch what I was trying to get at.

[dpbrown]

19. Exhibitionism is hot

Just trying to blend the two ideas here.

:evilgrin:

[Guava Jelly]

26. I wouldnt know..

Ive only heard stories of leftymoms exhibitionism..

(do i sound a bit desperate??)

[djeseru]

3. Any compliments are appreciated by me...

...I know so few people in the real world that compliments are very few and far between.

I suppose the "Look at yer tits!!!11!" compliments would raise an eyebrow or two...or do those occur more in the am hours? :P

Plus, I noticed that in the first year and a half I was here, I got very few responses when posting here in the Lounge. Now, since posting my photo a few times, I think others aren't as reserved with me.

[leftofthedial]

7. Ummm.

She said "tits."

I'm telling.

[dpbrown]

23. Consider yourself complimented, then...

...I guess I was a little enthusiastic in the pic thread...

:blush:

[Guava Jelly]

31. I think maybe just seeing a face to match with the text is allways

better.
And when others think you are a total babe..then cool.
And you are a total babe :O)

[GirlinContempt]

5. Whatever

Doesn't bother me one way or another

[DebJ]

6. What kind of relationship are you interested in?

If you tell a woman that she's hot, what you are ACTUALLY saying is that you yourself are 'hot' from looking at her, correct? That is how I would interpret that comment. So if you are looking for a one night stand (unlikely over the internet?!), then You're hot would be a good comment because it gets right to the point of what you want.

But this is the viewpoint of an older woman. My husband just told me I was beautiful, and a treasure, and that worked for him (we were just married last year after 2 years together. Met at a singles dance.)

At any rate, I find 'you're hot' to be crude.

[leftofthedial]

8. man! you're cold!

;-)

[DebJ]

10. i gotta love the PERSON, not the body........can't comprehend

one night stands...just beyond me...there is just too much more to life and to people that is really fascinating and worthwhile

[leftofthedial]

35. "one night stands" and relationships aren't mutually exclusive

I mean, a person can enjoy sex while they are looking for someone to get more serious with, can't they?

[ForrestGump]

11. As a swingin' hepcat groovy daddy-O dude, I again would have to

roll out the 'context' wagon, I think. I don't like hearing stuff like "you're hot." Not when it's opinion given by one stranger to another who is not patently attention-seeking in an overtly sexually suggestive manner. I hear it often enough here in Vegas, where people do all too often believe the "what happens in Vegas" marketing line and run around as if they have to desperately disperse their propagules before the world ends.

I just don't like it. Doesn't make me pathologically apoplectic, but it rankles. Not as bad as "I'm going to do her" (or him), and the like, but it's thinking about heading in that direction.

But it's totally and utterly different if I say it to to a woman I've known long and well enough to play around with (not that way). It's not joking, exactly, because it would be a true statement acknowledging that she looked beautiful, but she knows me well enough to know that I am not some one-track horndog who is just looking for the nearest available parking space for his little Volkswagen. No baggage, no expectation, and no misogyny or intent of just 'using' her. It's worked the other way, too, with a few platonic women friends having said to me stuff like "nice ass" or "hey, sexy." Of course, it's arguable that my basic male core interprets these offerings as courtship and mating displays, but my higher self keeps a lid on things because I know they're just being cute with me and not in my pool of potential love interests.

I don't know if I accomplished that explanation too clearly -- overovertired and some of these things I find hard to put into words 'cos they're kind of inhrently like that and because my idea's often only half-baked, at best.

Let me put it this way: one of the first people I got to know to any degree at all when I first came to DU was SOteric...if she posted a picture and I wrote in response "Hot mama!" or "Hot chick alert!," or whatever, it'd be okay (sheesh...I hope so..maybe I should lay low for a while, in case) because she's known me for years and it's all happily platonic and above-board. She knows I'm not a massage-offering exploiter of xx-people, as lecherous as I may here seem at times (and, indeed, am). But if I said the same thing to RandomLiberalBabe (and here I pray this is not an actual DU member)...well, maybe she wouldn't bat a virtual eyelash but, hell, I'd slap myself.

And "your hot" is, of course far less excusable than "you're hot."

One thign is certain: "nice tits" is only permissible if you're involved in the frequent ornithological appreciation threads that emerge in the Lounge -- nice to know that so many of us have a burning passion for natural history.

And take the advice of one -- me -- who went there: if you're talking to a cocktail waitress in a casino in Vegas, where cleavage is protruded to a degree unpredicted by all of Newton's doodlings, and you know her well enough to talk as fellow proletariat, try to avoid saying "it's great that your tips are so big tonight" if it's rather noisy in there. :blush: I am fairly sure that I said "tips." I admit the fact that I am male, just about sitting between her mammary hemispheres, and have a pulse...well, yes, all that could have pulled a Freud on my brain's verbal center, but I am sure that I was correct in my blushfaced and flustered protestations of innocence. She just thought it was funny.

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. Y'know, Gump...

You and I are a lot alike. :toast:

Except that you use several bajillion times more words than I do.

But you have much nicer breasts.

[ForrestGump]

16. Those bajillion words are

that many fewer bajillion words -- given our alleged alikeness -- that you have to use to make the same point, then. It's a symbiotic thing. Actually, it may be more parasitic. Freeloader. :P

And stop staring at the breasts. They're not mine. They belong to this nice cocktail waitress sitting beside me. It's just that they kinda extend over to my side of the visual field. :o

[Oeditpus Rex]

22. I wasn't staring

I simply happen to have superhuman peripheral vision. And mirrored shades. And shoes.

[ForrestGump]

34. Oh. All right then, and happy hunting to you, old chap. You know, I

often...

Hey! What are those shoetips doing intruding under the hem of my kilt?! Hoots mon!


(no, that's wroing -- ge tit straight, Gump: the hooters were hers)

[Dangerously Amused]

41. I'd like to discuss the tits you reference...

...but I'm afraid I would be out of tern.

[ForrestGump]

43. Oh no!

:rofl:

You've got me Caspian for breath here. Pullover here and take a seat, please. Pull over. Pullover. C'mon, p'llover. P'llover. Plover. :-)


This is my entry for the Most Tortuous And Generally Heinous Contrivation Of A Pun In The History Of DU.

I think I may have the winner here. "ifreakinrock!:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. ANY compliment that you'd like to use in reference to me.....

is FINE by me....

And I mean that sincerely.....

[bigwillq]

13. I would take an "I'm hot"

but I'm not a wimman. I don't think the ladies would mind if someone called them hot.

[ForrestGump]

18. I honestly wouldn't know what to say if someone came up to me and said

"I'm hot."

I'd probably respond, after a few second, with the Gump-style "Okay."

[Blue-Jay]

17. Ohhh, *this* is going to turn out well....

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. Not really...but I don't mind. It's also why I tend to post baby pics or

older child pictures of myself. ;) :hi:

[miss_american_pie]

21. While compliments of any kind are appreciated

If you were going to attempt to initiate a relationship based on a compliment, you might have better luck with "You have a nice smile, eyes, etc."

If you just wish to comment on a person's appearance, "you're hot" isn't offensive to most.

[u4ic]

24. Any compliments are appreciated

"You're hot" is nice to hear. "You're lovely" works, too. :hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

25. This is turning out differently than I expected

Perhaps I'm learning something. :bounce:

[RevCheesehead]

27. Anything other than a wretching sound is OK by me.

If you tell me I'm hot, I probably won't believe you, but I will adore you for the effort. :)

[RetroLounge]

28. You are beyond hot...

You make me wanna strip to my skivvies...



:D

RL

[RevCheesehead]

30. * * * thud * * *

*** swoon ***

:loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya:

Since THAT game is over, I am now free to express my true feelings about you.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

29. It sure beats "Damn! How many chins DO you have?!"

:hi:

[Blue-Jay]

32. More than a Chinese phonebook.

:cry:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

36. LOL! Me too, sugar...

Don't let it get you down. Maybe someone will write a cool song about us!

MR. FIVE BY FIVE

by Don Raye and Gene DePaul


Well, twirl my turban, man alive!
Here comes Mister Five by Five
He's one of those big fat bouncing boys
Solid avoirdupois!

Mister Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side


Mister Five by Five
Got fifty chins and a line of jive
He's a mellow old cat, a real hep bat
He be Mister Five by Five

That man
Can really jump it for a fat man
The only trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' or he's goin'

Mister Five by Five
He's slightly plump on the solid side
He don't shake it no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

That man
Can really jump it for a fat man
The only trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' or he's goin'

Mister Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do ...
From side to side ...
Mister Five by Five

[tigereye]

37. oh no you don't!

:hi:
(to BlueJay, about the chins thing.)

[Redstone]

33. Or "Hey, you're not sweating much in that picture."

Redstone

[tigereye]

38. only if I'm on fire

don't care for the "hot" thing. Wrong generation, I guess. We used to hear, "you're cute," but "hot" it seems to be the common phrase now.

Carry on. :)

[NMMNG]

39. They make me feel rather uncomfortable

Because, quite frankly, I'm not. :shrug:

[hfojvt]

44. you can never be sure about that

Since there is no universal standard. Plus, you never know either a)what appeals to a drunk person or b) how many people are drunk while posting in the DU lounge. I am guessing that it is more than .08 percent.
If I were to post a picture and get compliments, however, I would just think there are alot of liars on this board. That's what I said to a female co-worker last night when she said she liked my "beard". I said "you are lying".
However, if you consider that there are 3 billion women on this planet, perhaps two billion of them over the age of 15. I am guessing that there may be 27 of them who find me attractive, and another 103 who think I am okay. Theoretically, one of them could be a DUer.

[In_The_Wind]

40. Anything genuine.

I've been told "you're hot" and I took it as a complement.

It's all about the attitude, Dude.

[wickerwoman]

42. I think your second two choices are better.

"You're hot!" strikes me as frat-boy and a bit feeble. Or creepy exhibitionist one-handed typer...

I like my flattery a bit more personalized. But that's just me. :-)

[Dangerously Amused]

45. It's all about context.

If the first thing I ever heard from a guy was "nice tits," that would pretty much be the end of him in my lifetime, whether online or in the "real" world.

On the other hand, if it's someone I know pretty well and we've built up mutual respect, he can generally get away with any number of flirtatious comments and double entendres. "You're hot" would be just fine.

My advice, if you want to play it safe, is just keep the comments at whetever level the relationship has already reached. If it's a first comment, keep it polite. If you've already been teasing and/or flirting, then something along those lines should be acceptable. Maybe even expected.

:)

[ForrestGump]

46. You're hot

:D

:loveya:

[Dangerously Amused]

49. YOU are positively incendiary.

Which, obviously, makes me hot...

[ForrestGump]

51. I'm gonna get tombstoned again if I say what's really on my mind

:D

So here are some innocuous pictures to return this line of posting to its appropriate level of discourse:





























http://thumb.shutterstock.com/photos/display_pic_with_logo/265/265,1107540942,6.jpg

[skygazer]

47. ANY compliments are appreciated here

Frankly, I'd take, "you're hot" in a pic thread to be a nice compliment - it's not like we're in a bar and you're drunkenly leering at me. We're on a message board and you may or may not be drunkenly leering at me (and frankly, being leered at, drunkenly or not, would be kinda cool)

What I like to hear is, "nice pic", "great smile," "you look great" - that sort of thing. But I'll take anything I can get - just a reply is a huge boost to my ego! :hi:

[Shell Beau]

48. Hmm...

I guess it is a compliment! I don't get pissed unless the comments are just plain nasty. I hate when I am walking in the mall or whatever and a guy says "nice ass" or "nice tits". That might get you punched. But other than that, I like compliments!! :7

[matcom]

52. NICE ASS SHELL!!

:hide:

[redqueen]

50. Sure!

If it's a positive thought being conveyed, I tend to take it in a positive way.

I like hearing ANY and ALL compliments about my photos. :D

[ForrestGump]

53. I have been remiss, then, in regard to your photos, because

you are hot.

[Callalily]

54. I think this whole topic is

and the more I read the more I get.
That said, there's nothing wrong with being polite which should dispel any misconceptions.

[Oeditpus Rex]

56. Man, I try to foster a discussion of propriety and respect

and it turns into a sex thread. :grr:

You people are animals.









Oh, wait... this is a good thing.

Carry on. :patriot:

[Callalily]

59. I believe animal kingdom

would be a more appropriate description.

[Shine]

55. Once I actually figure out how to post a damn picture and

IF somebody actually compliments me, I'll have to get back to you on that. :)

Yes, I'm technically-challenged, but most people think I'm still a nice person.

:hi:

[supernova]

57. In this context, it's much appreciated

:D

I'd find it funny coming from someone I worked with, but here in the Lounge? Yay! for compliments! :D

But you'll have to wait till I get a camera. Since there's just me, there is no one to take pics.

[ForrestGump]

60. Ah...but, even though I've never seen a photo of you in all these years,

I know you're hot. :loveya:

[supernova]

62. Awww, thanks, Forrest

:blush:

[ForrestGump]

63. I'm no Johnny Depp, but

[supernova]

64. Back at ya

:*

[Dave Reynolds]

58. I would even appreciate

"Hey, I didn't throw up much when I saw your pic!"

[Oeditpus Rex]

61. I hear ya, dood

The one time I posted a photo, the only response it got was along the lines of "Oh, it's not that bad."

High praise indeed. :cry:

[khashka]

65. I don't think any compliments go unappreciated

But I also think one should moderate one's behaviour. I wouldn't just post "you'r'e hot" unless there was already some background between us. It borders on the salacious. And while we all want to be appreciated and found attractive.... it's just kind of rude.

I usually will express my appreciation for their beauty without making it sexual which "you're hot" does. I'll say it to certain people because we have already established some sort of understanding. But I wouldn't say that to just anyone. Even if I think it. I'd try to phrase it a little better : "You are very attractive", "You are very beautiful".

Women especially get the brunt of men's desire - and it's not always a good place to be. So why not try to make it a little less sexual and a little more simple appreciation?

Just one man's view.

Khash.