Who else hated/hates their college roommates? What should I do?

[Michigander4Dean]

I room with three other guys. They like to play basketball, play video games, party, etc., with each other and sometimes with others from our floor. But they often leave me out; i.e. if one wants to do something, he'll ask the other two if they want to join, but they won't ask me.

To make things even more interesting, they've all boasted about drinking at parties, though they're all 18-19 years old.

Does anyone have any advice?

Did you have issues with your roommates?

[liontamer]

1. do you hate them or want to be their friend?

[deadparrot]

2. Is there any way to switch at semester?

That's what a lot of my friends with crappy roommates are doing.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. You are not supposed to like your roommate(s). That's part of college.

Your college will intentionally assign you the roommate most likely to irritate you, disturb you, or freak you out. If you are very neat, your roommate will leave decaying food under his/her bed and dirty underwear on your pillow. If you are a slob, your roommate will alphabetize your stuff and fix you with a look that could curdle gin whenever you leave even a single hair on his/her toothbrush. My own college roommate was a fundie who kept trying to get me to go to Youth for Christ meetings with her and would burst into tears whenever I came back to the dorm in an altered state, which was often. Everybody I know had at least one horrible roommate -- people who stole their clothes, puked on the floor, had sex on the floor, were generally hostile or uncommunicative or nuts or just plain icky.

You can look at it as a way of preparing for your future life in a cubicle next to a guy who hums through his teeth and passes gas.

[Devra]

4. you may be right

I had a room mate that was a shrub suporter. we actuly had it written in our room mate contract/agreement that we would never talk about politics or religion.
She was nice, wasn't all that political she just liked Bush just because. More than likely she grew up in a Fox watching household. She can't realy be expected to change the belifes she probably grew up on. she drank a lot but so did nearly everone else on the floor. She was plesant enough but we had too little in common to really be friends.

[LynzM]

5. Do you really hate them?

It sounds to me more like they leave you out, and that pisses you off. I'd say if they're not doing anything more disruptive than actively not being your friends, find better friends. Likely you can arrange for different roommates next year, and in the meantime, join up with some activities where you can meet people who'll like you for you. Sorry if that sounds preachy, I don't mean it to. I was in the same situation my frosh year of college, and did end up making good friends, just never with any of my roommates, or even people on my floor.

[HEyHEY]

6. At the beginning it was all fine

I shacked up with a 44-year-old that was going to college cause he seemed like a good guy, and reliable (He was married but his wife was re-training in another city after their employer downsized and fucked them both). Plus he had lived five minutes from me in my hometown which was 4,000 miles away and we had never even met, so that was kinda cool.
But, he used to stink the place up smoking dope and turned out to be a dirty old man, so much so girls would not want to come to my place, I always had to go to theirs.
One time we ended up in a town about an hour and a half a way for a big party, we shared a motel room. I brought a girl back, he managed to weasel in and it ended up being a brief threesome before I bailed out because it was uncomfortable. I sat in the lobby while this fucker bedded the girl I picked up.
And, he was married with kids, in fact his daughter was a year older than I and we had mutual friends. The next morning he called his wife to pick him up from the hotel. Scum.

But I had other college roomies that ruled!

[ghostsofgiants]

7. Wait wait wait...

18 and 19 year-olds drink at parties? I am shocked! Shocked and appalled!

Honestly though, I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes I wish my roommates would actually let me be, haha. They're almost too friendly at times.

[RobbinsdaleDem]

8. My daughter's roommate hates her.

She's never complained about anything to my daughter directly, but she complains to mutual friends
and leaves nasty Instant Messenger "away messages" on her computer for my daughter to see. She doesn't talk to my daughter at all. They have an interesting living situation in that the college doesn't have enough dorm space, so the college contracts with a hotel a mile or so away. That's where my daughter lives. The roommate's boyfriend also lives at the hotel, so the roommate spends most of her time in her boyfriend's room and only comes into her own room to shower and pick up what she needs for the day. At first my daughter felt bad, but now she says it's almost like having a private room.

I think one is lucky if he/she is able to become friends with his/her roommate, but from the sounds of it, it doesn't happen all that often.