Okay, I REALLY screwed up and need advice!

[thom1102]

Tuesday was my mother's birthday, and life has been so hectic here the last couple of weeks that I totally blanked! Now, for those of you who don't know, mom has peritoneal cancer and is undergoing Chemotherapy treatments, further complicating my oversight, and compounding my already enormous guilt.

Now, I need a killer gift to make up for my mistake, and I am drawing a blank! I was thinking of maybe a gift certificate for a spa, or something in that vein. Mom isn't a jewelry person at all, so that route is out. She needs a new laptop, but that is a little out of my price range. Please please give me some hints! I know none of you know her, her likes, dislikes, etc, but just random ideas may spur my imagination!

[chimpymustgo]

1. Give her a full day of YOU.

Take her to lunch. Take her to a beauty salon. Take her to a museum. Whatever she wants to do. All day long.

[thom1102]

4. That's a good idea..

It will have to wait until after she gets out of the chemo hole though. She just had a treatment the other day and is in too much discomfort to leave the house.

[MuseRider]

6. I used to rent

a wheelchair to take my mom out when she was having chemo and too tired to go out. I would wrap her up, scarf her head so she didn't even have to make the effort to get all gussied up. It really helped her outlook.

[thom1102]

9. I would love her to do that,

but she would hate that. The idea that people would be looking at her in the wheel chair would drive her crazy. When I was in the Navy in San Diego, she came out to visit with me, and right before the trip, she fell and broke her ribs. She came on the trip anyway, because she didn't want to doappoint my little brother, and when we went to the amusement parks in Anahiem, she refused to have us do anything special for her. No wheel chairs, no special 'front of the line' stuff so she wouldn't have to stand for long periods of time. She is a true martyr.

[Yupster]

2. the gift certificate for something

is probably a good idea, but make it something you can do with her. I bet she would value spending time with you more than any gift, especially under her current circumstances.

[La_Serpiente]

3. Give her a big stuffed animal

or buy her some glass ornament. Flowers?

[MissMillie]

10. Flowers I think are great

but a glass ornament is just something to dust, and a stuffed animal.... jeez, those are for KIDS.

I think others had it right when they suggested that he spend a whole day w/ his mom--along w/ buying lunch and a trip to the salon.

Manicure, pedicure, getting the hair done, lunch and a big bunch of flowers.

[prolesunited]

5. If she's ill and has been undergoing treatments

a day of pampering may be just what the doctor ordered.

How about "Queen for a Day"? Not sure where you live, but make appointments for the works: massage, manicure and pedicure, facial, haircut, makeup and then take her out for a fabulous dinner at a nice restaurant. I bet her favorite part would be spending time talking to you over dinner.

Definitely apologize profusely and good luck!

[Coyul]

7. If she is feeling too tired to leave the house

maybe you could get her some nice soft pajamas to lounge around in. A lot of Massage therapists will come to you, so look in the phone book and see if you can find some one who will come to her house.

[Character Assassin]

8. Write for her, by hand, how much she means to you and how sorry you are

Make it come from the heart and more than just a few lines.

That alone will be more valuable to her than anything you need batteries for.

[bandy]

11. and do an ad

in the local saying how lucky you are to have her for a Mom.

[Rowdyboy]

12. If she doesn't feel well enough to get out now...

Give her a book of coupons. One for dinner with you; one for a museum trip; one for a movie-things you know she likes to do with you. Redeemable at any time she likes.

[SoCalDem]

13. Give her some "Love Coupons"....print them on your printer

Lots of these are the romantic sort, but there are some that are "Mom-like".. Print them up and get her small things..(comfort things) and attach a coupon to each of them..

When my friend was having chemo and felt like shit, we brought her little cheer-up stuff..

a satin pillowcase
a shamrock plant
cute little googly-eyed cactus
a small baby-soft chenille throw
a small behind-the neck pillow that you could put in the fridge to cool..(the chemo she had, made her hot and sweaty)
velour lounging pajamas
scented candles
we took turns making and bringing her dinner (took the dirty dishes home with us )
Do her laundry for her
Clean her house


Moms love stuff like that :)




http://cards.lovingyou.com/gallery.cgi?mdb=gallery&cat=coupons&pg=1&rec=10

[RainDog]

14. Have a masseuse come to her house

and try to find a really hot looking one! (okay, that would just be my dream present...the hottie part...)

Also, make a card with the gift certificate, which you can return to the masseuse after she decides on a good time.

For the card, take a bunch of photos from different points in your life with her, color copy them, and make them like a collage on the front and say that you will always remember your wonderful times together, even if you sometimes forget the day of the week...

[grasswire]

15. hire a limo

...and put her in it. Add balloons, flowers, pretty music. Pick up a couple of happy friends or relatives, drive somewhere beautiful and have birthday cake and punch.

[Maddy McCall]

16. Tickets to a symphony that only you and she will attend...

No other family members allowed. Take her out to eat and then to a symphony or opera. Then maybe out for some ice cream.

If she has lost weight, look for a new coat or other items of clothing for her.

Since christmas is coming, why not put her tree up for her and decorate it?

Anything you can do for her that she can't do for her self is appreciated.

[thom1102]

17. Update...

Thank you all for yout excellent advice. I visisted with mom last night (actually just got home... I stayed overnight since she lives 2 hours away). I was going to get her a gift certificate to the day spa in her town, but my brother informed me when I got there, that mom already had one and hasn't used it in 3 years. So I got her a bag of goodies...lots of her favorite sweets, a basset hound calendar (she has a basset), a gift certificate to Blockbuster, and a bouquet of flowers, with a promise to help pay for a new laptop, as well as spending today helping do chores around her house as well as a profuse apology. I think that I am back in her good graces.

Thanks again, everyone!
Thom