Can I have some honest feedback, please?

[CatWoman]

How do you feel about picking up lunch for people you work with?

Do you find it annoyingly intrusive, or is it not a big deal?

[merh]

1. If it is expected, I resent it.

If I am asked to do it while I am out, no big deal, if they pay their share.

:hi:

[CatWoman]

6. what prompted this

Thursday it was very cold and raining.

I really didn't plan to go out. I had a deadline at noon, and was going to try to get someone else to bring me something, or just heat up a can of soup

When I got to work, a friend asked if I would pick up lunch. I replied no, but got this "please" and pained look.

When I got to my office, I thought about it. The place he wanted me to go to makes excellent homemade soup. I figured I'd go early and be back in time to meet my deadline.

My stipulation was that I wasn't agreeable to pick up lunch for several others while I was at it.

I get downstairs, ready to go at 10:30, and was told the food woudn't be ready until 11:30. Ok, starting to get pissed off here. I go back upstairs to my office.

I return at 11, only to have to sit and wait for someone else to bring her money. Seems he had taken 5 FUCKING orders from others, and I had to bring all of them back.

I was steaming. Especially when I asked not to have me bring back food for other people. Out of those five other orders, at least 3 of them had cars.

And I resent the fuck out of it.

Now they are looking at me like I'm the Queen Bitch.

[merh]

10. I don't blame you at all for being annoyed and angered at this.

You are a better person than I am, once the other five had informed me of their added orders, I would have gone to the first guy you so generously offered to help and informed him you would drive but he would have to get out to get the orders. Or, I would have told the other five that the other person was mistaken, you had never agreed to pick up lunches, you thought he was going to do it.

Or I would have done it and been just as pissed as you were.

I definitely wouldn't do it again.

[CatWoman]

11. I told him I wouldn't do it again

and as I've said, now I'm the Queen Bitch.

this isn't the first time this has happened.

I just can't take it anymore.

My time is as valuable as the next person's.

I have tons of work on my desk, and deadlines up my ass.

[merh]

16. Don't let them bother you.

Just do your work and be yourself. Folks like that will find other office suckers, preying upon their kindness and their vulnerabilities.

Sadly, women do have a harder time dealing with office politics than men have. If we don't comply or go out of our way to prove we are not bitches, we are automatically seen as bitches. Our focus and determination to get the job done is not seen as commendable, but as bitchiness. Think about it, how often have you heard it said that a focused, determined man is the office bitch?

More is expected out of women than men in the office environment.

I worked for one boss that learned early on I was his employee and not his waitress. I was busy in my office doing all of the work he had lumped on me and he buzzed me to come to his office. With coffee cup in hand, I stepped into his office where he and a client were sitting discussing the client's case. My boss looked up from the discussion and said "How about some coffee" to which I honestly replied, "No thank you, sir, I have some already and all of those deadlines you have given me" and I turned around and walked out. It struck me what he meant and I turned back into his office and asked "Oh, did you mean you would like me to get you some coffee?" The client, after picking himself off the floor from his fit of laughter, caught his breath and said he didn't want any coffee. My boss grumbled he didn't need any either and sent me back to do my work.

I worked for the boss for several more years after that and he never again asked me to get coffee for him or his clients.

[SoCalDem]

37. They turned you into the Queen Go-Fer ..I would be PISSED

I would have gone to each of them and demanded $2 more than what their "order" cost..BEFORE THEY GOT THE FOOD and let them know that they need to order from a place that delivers next time:)

[CatWoman]

40. I don't know, SoCal

they just made me feel as if "I" was wrong.

This is why I had to start this thread, and get feedback from others.

Good to know I'm not crazy after all.

[RubyDuby in GA]

46. Do I need to come over there???

I will kick their asses! :)

:hi:

[Hugin]

17. Good move!

"you had never agreed to pick up lunches, you thought he was going to do it."

I love it!

[merh]

LOL

thanks :hi:

[Hugin]

15. They have no reason to...

You completed the soup retrieval mission.

My other rule of thumb is: When asked by others to do something...
I have every right to complain. When *I* offer to do something... It's
all on me.

Maybe the others weren't informed by the instigator that he'd put-upon
you. So they think you're complaining about something you volunteered
to do. Which isn't the case in this instance.

[RagingInMiami]

41. It's better to be the Queen Bitch

Than the Office Sucker.

[tjdee]

2. Not a big deal, as long as you can refuse and they reciprocate somehow.

I mean, if I'm going out for lunch anyway, I don't mind stopping and getting something for someone. Who knows, maybe I'll need them to do that for me one day--and if not, there are bigger deals to worry about.

But if they come to expect it, I can see how that would get irritating.

[hfojvt]

3. RU buying it or just delivering?

I think they should spring for a soda or something for delivery charges. The line is "if you fly, I'll buy". It never impacts me, because I bring my own sandwiches and pop.

[Hugin]

4. It depends on a lot of factors...

But, my rule of thumb is...

It's not expected to be a routine thing.

[CatWoman]

7. see, that's the thing

it IS expected.

[Hugin]

8. That's not good...

If it were part of your job description... That would be different.

But, if people are taking advantage of your good naturedness. That's
just wrong.

[CatWoman]

9. see my response above

#6

[richmwill]

Agree with the others...

As long as it's not an expected-duty, then it's fine. If someone asks "Hey, if we give you $30 can you go pick up some Chinese food we ordered?", then- I see nothing wrong with that.

[jus_the_facts]

5. Depends on my mood at the time really.....

....sometimes it's annoyin' and intrusive...other times it's just what the fuck ever...why not?! :evilgrin:

:hi: Midori! :hug:

[ChairmanAgnostic]

12. working alone, I do it often.

when i was working in a larger place, for some people, i did not mind, especially underpaid secretaries who really helped.
There was a coworker who ALWAYS managed to forget his cash when we went to eat or for a beer. And if you lent him anything, you never saw it again.
That guy managed to piss me off.

[Heidi]

13. Do you offer to do it?

I don't offer, ever, unless I can do it with a smile on my face. This goes for bringing back stuff from the store for my mother-in-law and sister-in-law (who live very nearby), cat food from the pet store for others besides The Wiley and Excellent Cat Named Ginger, etc. If I can't do it with a smile one my face, I just go and don't announce to anyone that I'm going. :shrug:

[graywarrior]

14. If I get trapped into that, I keep their change.

[johnnie]

18. If I am going there I don't mind

It's when people put in an order like: I want a double cheeseburger with half a tomato, mustard on one side and the special sauce on the other, two pickles, only one ring of onion and no bun. Also i want a jumbo coke with half coke and half diet coke.


I try to stay away from getting lunches.

[CatWoman]

19. surprisingly, I get that, too

:grr:

[johnnie]

21. That pisses me off

Then they get angry at you if the place makes it wrong.

[bettyellen]

22. you have a right to be pissed off. some people do this in order to prove

they can do it. they wanna be the Alpha. you can bet they never told the others you didn't want to do it. this person set you up to look like a bitch. the best tack is to smile and wonder where the confusion came from while looking at the perp. happily tell them they misunderstood. it's hard to do it with a smile, i know, but getting you pissed off is that asshole' s payoff. either they get you to do it, or you look like a jerk. try not to give it to them.
in the future i would give that one, an emphatic, smiling... "Not today" and then a "Not today either" eventually they should figure out this means never again. 5 people's lunches? this person was screwing with your head.

as you've said before, some people are full of shit! rock on, cat woman!

[CatWoman]

24. 2 giant shopping bags, which I had a hard time fitting into my front seat

I drive a pickup truck, and space is limited.

[bettyellen]

28. taking advantage of coworkers is the #1 game in the workplace....

i am forever getting people pissed at me because i ask them (nicely) to perform the basics of their job. the stuff thati need to do my own job. lots of people spend more energy trying to make other people look bad when they ought to be TCB.
i had a boss ask me to get her a months script for BC pills, so she could delay her period on vacation. she stopped after 5 pills and tried to get a refund from me. LOL. i said what am i gonna do with those? she was a lunch beggar too....i recall climbing 11 flights with boiling hot fettucini, the sauce all over my coat. i should have demanded dry cleaning money,... but i did use it as an excuse never to do it again fro her.

[CatWoman]

29. It's all boiling to the surface

the reason I started this thread is because they made ME the asshole.

The girl that I had to wait for while she went to retrieve her money is a friend, and she kept teasing me about being pissed.

And she drives a truck much larger than mine.

Some people just don't get it.

I don't appreciate being "volunteered" for anything.

If I offer, it's one thing. But then, the offer is to a certain person, not a fucking gang.

[bettyellen]

30. I'd firmly tell her, you wait till i offer next time.

and then i probably wouldn't sometimes people get a kick out of pushing your buttons or think they are so right about something they just push you into agreeing.
i had a friend who was compulsive about dishing on herself, and would add, every single time, Betty's even more so. Told her privately to STFU and leave me out of her neurotic confessions to near strangers. I had to embarrass her in front of other people and point out I had asked her to can it many times before. I know she didn't respect my view and was pushing her way of dealing with shit on me. I told her in front of a crowd, when were you planning to respect my feelings on this one, i have repeatedly made them clear? I've made them clear 1/2 a dozen times.
I prefer the company of ballsy people, and it's a trade off for sure. Sometimes you have to be a bit emphatic that things that concern you are your call, not theirs.

[TK421]

20. As long as they pay for my lunch, it's fine with me

[Left Is Write]

23. I haven't worked in some years, but I remember those days...

I don't mind now and then, as a favor, as a return favor...that sort of thing. If it were to become a habit and people just expected me to do it for them, then I'd be ticked off.

[CatWoman]

25. the thing that REALLY fucks with my head is it's expected

[Left Is Write]

26. By the way - off topic -

I got your PM and really appreciated it. I've been meaning to write back to you!

[CatWoman]

27. LOL -- No problemo

I do that all the time. I have several emails in my inbox that I need to respond to.

[Kali]

31. For one or two as a favor - no prob

for 5 or 6? Did they pay you? geez - call a fucking delivery service. I think I would have AT LEAST -

kept the change
made someone come help
been pissed at the guy who instigated it

one picky little thing that I did notice though:

In your reply above you said "I really didn't plan to go out. I had a deadline at noon, and was going to try to get someone else to bring me something, ..."

:shrug:

[CatWoman]

32. yes, I was going to ask someone to get me something

one of the girls I work with routinely asks if I want her to bring me something when she goes out. She's an absolute sweetheart. I normally decline. I decline because I try not to make a habit of it. She is on my team, and we work closely together. She also knew about my deadline.

Plus, I wouldn't go around taking orders from others and expect her to bring back not just my order, but orders for several others as well.

The person who instigated this is not on my team.

Sorry I left that out.

Notice that I also said I would have been content with opening a can of soup. I keep cans of soup and chili in my office to get me thru days like that.

[Orsino]

33. I guard my lunchtime carefully...

...though I often don't eat lunch. I get a half-hour, and I like to spend the time walking or browsing in the bookstore next to the office. On the rare occasion when I know I'm going to get food, though, I'll announce it, and sometimes wind up bringing something back for somebody else.

When I'm carrying someone else's lunch, I don't feel free to wander as I usually do, so I harbor a vague resentment that is fortunately more than compensated for by the pleasure of doing a good turn for a co-worker.

It's not a big deal to me, but that may be because I unconsciously act to keep it a rare thing.

[CatWoman]

34. the key words here: *somebody else*

how about five or six "somebody else's"?

[Orsino]

42. Yep. I can carry one other person's food...

...but picking up for five or six would require taking my car, so I'm proof against the cries of "You going to...?"

[TallahasseeGrannie]

35. Once or twice a year

or if they were working on something and I was the one with the time to go out and get it, I'd be fine with it.

But it is a fairly significant inconvenience timewise.

[MidwestMomma]

36. Maybe the whole thing just snowballed out of control

That's what happens at my office.

If you want to go get something just for yourself, you'd better keep it to yourself. Or next thing you know you're getting everybody's lunch.

I had to be the bitch one day myself. A coworker and I wanted Quizno's, they didn't deliver so I said, Okay, I'll go get it but I'm NOT getting everyone's lunch. Next think I know, people are lined up at my desk asking for the Quizno's menu. I was like WTF! All it took was ONE nosy parker to spread it around the office I guess.

So I got all mean and said "Nevermind, I'm not getting lunch for everybody." And then like you said, I was the bad guy.

What I hate hate are the people that always order lunch when someone else is picking it up but NEVER NEVER offer to go get lunch. Who died and made them queen?

I'll quit now...I've got many office lunch/food horror stories. Jeez, I could write a book. :)

[Skittles]

38. I don't mind

but I absolutely refuse to get food for my boss who, no matter how busy we are, never, ever offers to go get us food

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. Here's how you deal with that...

I got this from my father (who never accepts food from coworkers or subordinates). I would casually say,"Oh, you want me to pick you something up? I would never have a coworker pick me something up, because they just might be mad at me and I have no idea what they would do to my food." It might help keep that from happening to you again...:hug:

[Pithlet]

43. What your coworker did to you was rude.

I would have been pissed. Once I was returning from lunch and I still had my soda with the restaurant's name on the to-go cup. Someone saw me and went on about how much she loved that place, and then gave me a hard time for not offering to pick up stuff for the rest of the group. As if she'd never just gone to lunch on her own and done her own thing.

[CatWoman]

44. I really resent people hijacking my lunch hour

and making my schedule for me.

I really, really do.

Even more I resent being told that it's something wrong with me for feeling this way.

[Book Lover]

45. Intrustive (nm)