My sister says I'm a cheapskate

[riderinthestorm]

Last year I hired a Greek woman who was desperate for some cash to clean my house. She had been a housecleaner in Greece and was canvassing at my daughter's school for work. We can't really afford it, but what the hell, I'm a sucker for a person willing to work hard so I gave up oil changes at the JiffyLube (I can do it myself) and a few other things and voila! I have a house cleaner twice/month.

I hire her to clean my house 2x/month at $60 a pop. She set the price, I didn't.

I tip her $10 cash each time. Also, I make the check for her services out to cash or give her cash since I'm not 100% sure of her residency status.

So today I give her a $20 cash tip in a Christmas card and a huge box of Greek chocolates that I found at a Greek grocery store in Chicago.

Every week that she works for me, I give her a large tupperware of soup for her family, or a ham, or a bagful of handlotions etc. I perceive this as real, direct action charity. Seriously. I have taken this family under my wing and filled out immigration papers, tutored their kids in English, treated the family to a day at the local ballet etc.

So my sister says I am cheap because the standard tip for a housecleaner is a day's wage.

WTF?

Who makes up these rules? Where are they posted? I am so frustrated!!!!

Help!

I recently began seeing a friend who opened her own hair salon. I have always just cut my own hair in front of the mirror at home but began to patronize this woman's salon as a friendly gesture. I was going to bring her a gift basket for her salon with coffees, chocolates, and teas for her coffee cart. Now I am perplexed.

Are there really rules out there and am I a cheapskate??????

Help before I make another (apparently HUGE!!111!!) mistake.

[WCGreen]

1. If you want me to tell you the proper Tips....

You must tip me first...

[LeftyMom]

2. If the housekeeper keeps coming back

I assume she's okay with what you pay her. You sound like you're going out of your way to show appreciation for your housekeeper and hairdresser, far more than a larger tip would.

[Whoa_Nelly]

3. Hairdresser tip

$5 for every $25-30

And your generosity re: housekeeper....Outstanding! :applause:

Tell your sister to find the Housekeeper Tipping Rule Book, then you'll listen to her.

Meanwhile, ask her who she's been helping out lately :evilgrin:

[calico1]

4. You are not cheap.

You Are very genrerous and kind to your housekeeper. Tell sis to just shut up.

[LaurenG]

5. Your sister has misinformed you

several years ago I had three jobs. I worked for a doctor 4 1/2 days a week, an accountant bi weekly at night and I cleaned houses. I was never treated as well as you describe. In fact, every week I had a "special project" strip a floor or wash all the windows. I was paid a good wage $10 an hour. I could usually get the place done in 4-5 hours. So I ended up with $40-$50. You're doing a great thing. Put your fingers in your ears and don't listen to that. BTW I never got any soup (food of any kind) or Christmas $ from any of the employers I worked for during that time.:hug:

[riderinthestorm]

6. Thank you! Thank you!

I couldn't believe it when she blasted me on the phone at dinner time.

I was thinking I had been doing pretty well, probably doing a bit more than required because I like this family and want them to succeed.....

And then she cut me off at the knees!

It's bizarre. There'a whole bunch of unwritten rules out there that obviously SOMEBODY knows about but clearly I'm not dialed in on this shit....

Or it may be that I haven't really been in this zone before whereby I was in a position to give Xmas tips to others....

Whew, but it's been a bad hour before you all came long and assuaged the guilt, nursed along with a hefty Scotch and water I'll tell you.

Thanks! Feeling better (and very relieved).

This is better than confession. Screw the priests. Catholics (or ex-C's as the case maybe), just need DU.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. thats not true

tipping someone who is self employed and is not working for tips really depends on what you want to do

and i think you are tipping generously anyway

[Jamastiene]

8. Hell, I would work for ya at those wages and tips.

You sister sounds like she "would" pay more, but who has she hired lately?

[lakemonster11]

9. It sounds like you're doing great.

By the way, having lived in Greece, let me tell you that there isn't much tipping there. If she set the price at $60 a day, then that's probably what she expects to get. Especially since it's her own business---she gets to keep everything she earns. A $10 tip seems fine to me.

The food, presents, and the other help you've given her family probably mean more to her than getting a larger Christmas bonus.

Also, Christmas isn't the biggest holiday in Greece like it is here (well, it's getting to be more important, thanks to globalization). Greek Easter might be a good time to give her a nice bonus and/or present (keep in mind it's later in the spring than western Easter).

[riderinthestorm]

10. Wow. I hadn't thought of Greek Easter

Okay, I will have to do some research on that. Excellent suggestion. I knew the Greek holidays weren't entirely aligned with ours but since we have now only gone through about a one year cycle together I wasn't paying attention to a lot of the cultural possibilities.

Thanks for the thought!