Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:28 PM
Original message |
"Pull On My Penis and See Me Pee!" |
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And other book titles taht would be totally inappropriate for reading aloud to a classroom of children, such as:
"Daddy drinks because you're a tattle-tale"
and
"Bi-Curious George"
and
"Cook County Jail: Words Spoken in the '92 Riot"
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Dark
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:32 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Don't forget "My SPECIAL pet goat" |
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or "Daddy doesn't live here any more: He's in jail"
or "Acid: How to get your cartoon pals to play with you!"
or even "Jesus loves you (as long as you aren't a democrat)"
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. "Daddy Hits Mommy Because You Are Bad" |
Dark
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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Give your kids these for Christmas:
"Knives: The best toy invented"
"It's not your fault mommy's divorcing daddy, it's the gays."
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
4. "Everyone Knows You Wet Your Bed" |
Dark
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Don't forget this stocking stuffer! |
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"Mommy likes it when you scream real loud"
"How the heathen Jews ruined Christmas, and what you can do to stop it!"
And my personal favorite:
"The monsters under your bed are real, and Mommy is in cahoots with them"
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Rabrrrrrr
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Wed Dec-14-05 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
10. "Mr. Rogers And Mr. McFeely Get Into A Whisky Fight Over Lady Aberlin" |
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"Jesus Hates You"
"Running With Scissors Is Fun!"
"Touching Grandpa In Secret Places"
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Dark
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Wed Dec-14-05 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
11. "Fun with dirty syringes" |
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"Playing football with moving cars"
"Wolves and Bears, the cuddliest animals alive"
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name not needed
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:47 PM
Response to Original message |
5. "The toys in Mommy's Sock Drawer" |
NewJeffCT
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Wed Dec-14-05 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
Elidor
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Wed Dec-14-05 09:44 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
Ellen Forradalom
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Wed Dec-14-05 09:41 PM
Response to Original message |
8. "You Can't Be Anything Fun When You Grow Up" |
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"Mommy and Daddy Don't Love Each Other Any More"
"Your Brother Does Not Look Like the Plumber, So Quit Saying That"
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NMMNG
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Thu Dec-15-05 12:31 AM
Response to Original message |
12. "Fun with Dick and Dick" |
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and its companion volume "Fun with Jane and Jane"
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Wapsie B
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Thu Dec-15-05 12:39 AM
Response to Original message |
13. "I have two Mommies." |
Bucky
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
29. I wouldn't mind that one. It's sure not as bad as "I Had Your Two Mommies" |
UncleSepp
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Fri Dec-16-05 02:55 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
43. OMGLOL Almost as bad as "Mommy's white and daddy's black" |
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Are you sure you're posting on the right board?
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sleipnir
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Thu Dec-15-05 12:50 AM
Response to Original message |
14. "Mommy and Daddy, Don't Fight!...Another Worthless Plea" |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:51 AM
Response to Original message |
15. "Touching Uncle John" |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:52 AM
Response to Original message |
16. "The ABC/123 Photo Book of Murder and Suicide Victims" |
AngryAmish
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:54 AM
Response to Original message |
17. "Yes, You Should Touch Daddy There" |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message |
18. "Don't Trust That Kid - He's Black!" |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message |
19. "Your Parents Lie to You" |
eyesroll
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Thu Dec-15-05 10:57 AM
Response to Original message |
20. MY classmate in seventh grade wrote a whole series of mysteries: |
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"Who Put Razor Blades In Mommy's Tampons?"
"Who Put Hydrochloric Acid In Daddy's Condoms?"
"Why Does This Toilet Paper Feel Like Sand?"
"Who Put Salt Tablets In Uncle Joe's Nitroglycerine Case?"
He tried to turn one in for our "children's literature" unit, and promptly got called in to the principal. He'd been there before, during the science fiction unit, when we were supposed to make bumper stickers for spaceships -- his was "Up your afterburner."
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HughBeaumont
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Thu Dec-15-05 11:01 AM
Response to Original message |
21. "Daddy's Wearing Latex Again" |
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Edited on Thu Dec-15-05 11:07 AM by HughBeaumont
"Where the Meth Lab Ends"
"Everybody Smokes"
"'Stop Hurting My Feelings!' and other Ineffective Phrases to Say when Dealing with a Thick-Headed Bullying Coital Mistake"
"My Polygamous Family"
"Billy's First Chubby"
"He's Not Blowing Bubbles! The Funny Smell from Your Older Brother's Room"
"Count Grischnacht's Children's Occult and Church Burning Stories"
"You're the Smelly Kid in Class"
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Puglover
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Thu Dec-15-05 11:02 AM
Response to Original message |
22. Exploring Kitties Private Parts |
AngryAmish
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Thu Dec-15-05 11:03 AM
Response to Original message |
23. "Stop Using the Toilet" |
AngryAmish
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Thu Dec-15-05 11:03 AM
Response to Original message |
ThatsMyBarack
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Thu Dec-15-05 11:17 AM
Response to Original message |
25. "Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb?" |
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Edited on Thu Dec-15-05 11:17 AM by danagsk8
Got it from a Prince song (the extended version of 1999, to be exact).
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Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:33 PM
Response to Original message |
26. "That Man On Daddy is Your New Second Dad" |
Bucky
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:48 PM
Response to Original message |
27. The Lli'l Engine that Could Meets the Stalled Out School Bus that Couldn't |
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BLAM! Of course it's funnier if it's orphans on the school bus.
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datasuspect
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:50 PM
Response to Original message |
28. when mommy's friend "uncle steve" plays our secret game with me |
datasuspect
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:51 PM
Response to Original message |
30. the little golden book of national socialism |
pdx_prog
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:52 PM
Response to Original message |
31. You're the reason Mommy drinks... |
Arugula Latte
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:52 PM
Response to Original message |
32. Fun with Electric Sockets and Other Games for Kids nt |
XemaSab
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Thu Dec-15-05 03:57 PM
Response to Original message |
33. "Every time you let Father O'Malley touch you, an angel gets its wings" |
Rabrrrrrr
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Thu Dec-15-05 07:53 PM
Response to Original message |
34. "Knives and Electrical Outlets: Nature Intends them to be Together" |
Briarius
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Thu Dec-15-05 08:28 PM
Response to Original message |
35. The VCR/DVD player likes popsicles! |
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playing dead till mommy cries and other fun games
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LynzM
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Fri Dec-16-05 01:34 AM
Response to Reply #35 |
39. Dude, that's evil.... |
proud2BlibKansan
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Thu Dec-15-05 08:30 PM
Response to Original message |
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"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Some Kittens Can Fly!"
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of Western Eur- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"Dad's New Wife Timothy"
"Pop! Goes the Hamster....and Other Great Microwave Games"
"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets"
"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change from Your Mom's Purse"
"The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"
"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead"
"How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"
"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It"
"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
"Bi-Curious George"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
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Elidor
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Thu Dec-15-05 08:36 PM
Response to Original message |
37. "Science fun with sulphur & black powder" |
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"How to pimp white girls in the city"
"It's fun to be a janitor!"
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TK421
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Thu Dec-15-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message |
38. The Adventures of Robby Razorblade and Alice Alcohol |
LSdemocrat
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Fri Dec-16-05 01:35 AM
Response to Original message |
40. Dr. Seuss's "Fun With Guns" |
GrpCaptMandrake
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Fri Dec-16-05 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #40 |
42. Other rejected Dr. Suess titles |
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1. The Cat in the Blender 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. Are You My Proctologist? 11. Aunts in My Pants 12. The Grinch's Ten Inches 13. Green Cheese & Spam 14. Who Flung Goo on Betty Sue? 15. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch
I didn't write 'em, but they *are* funny
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TrogL
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Fri Dec-16-05 01:43 AM
Response to Original message |
41. Things to do in a dark alley |
DU
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Fri May 03rd 2024, 03:57 AM
Response to Original message |