I have the legal authority to kick in your door.....

[liberalitch]

eat all your scooby snacks and erase your answering machine.
Congress has been briefed on this at least 12 times.

What do you have the legal authority to do?

[swimboy]

1. I am authorised to take candy from the mouths of children and

make the young girls cry. I can tell children lies about their parents, their teachers, and their religious instructors. I can make you learn one hundred Bible verses by heart, even entire Psalms.

And all because of 9/11.

[liberalitch]

3. Now you can even carry a plastic knife on a plane

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

2. Buy a 18 year old a beer in front of 487 armed policemen.

Suck it up, college freshmen in the Land of the "Free".

[lpbk2713]

4. I am empowered to enter your house in the dead of night .....

and rip the tags off of every one of your pillows.


So you'd better watch it.

[LaraMN]

5. To stop traffic, exit my car, and ask random people in other vehicles

if my "butt looks big" in whatever I happen to be wearing.

[LynneSin]

6. I have legal authority to delete all of your posts and replace them

with pro-Led Zeppelin prose!

[LSK]

7. no no no, only the King can do that

You are just a mere peasant. Now back to the fields you!

[LynneSin]

8. I have legal authority to turn off & on DU sig-lines at a whims notice

Right now, I just don't feel like looking at them so I turned em all off. Maybe if all of you suck up to me I'll bring em back for a bit this afternoon!

[texas1928]

9. I have the Authority to...

Write the songs that make the whole world sing...

Write the songs of fancy-free..

[ghostsofgiants]

10. I have the legal authority to wave the four-four...

While all you hear is poppa don't hit me no more.