I have given up MEN

[corarose]

My ex fiancé burned me so bad that I have decided to give up on men altogether. I am straight and I miss the touch of a man but I don't know If I could ever have one in my life again.

The dilemma is one of the Chefs at my Culinary College asked me If I wanted to be fixed up with a friend of his and I wasn't even talking about dating or anything like that. I just smiled and walked off because I didn't know what to say.

Anyone else given up on the opposite sex?

[commander bunnypants]

1. Hang in there

I was burned twice before I found the love of my life. Take a break if you need to; mine was about 15 months. Good luck

DDQM

[corarose]

3. My ex dumped me over 10 years ago

I ballooned up to 290 and I didn't go out with anyone and now that I have gotten back down to 145 pounds I don't know about the dating situation.

[commander bunnypants]

9. First congrads on the weight loss

healthy for you,

Take it easy, go to places where you will be comfy, like a coffee house, be yourself and I think you will be ok. If I was not married I would be knocking on your door cause my wife cannot cook.

Seriously, be your self, dont put yourself in a bad situation and take it one step at a time.


DDQM

[demnan]

2. Yep!

I'm tired of the games and the controlling and frankly I've slept alone all my life and I'm used to it.

[corarose]

6. I am an honest person and my ex

Got married and didn't tell me about it because he traveled all of the time.
He played a game that he was still single but I knew better. I went out with him for 6 years and he married a Candy Company Owners daughter that he knew for 2 weeks.

He is back in Scotland now living with his aunt.

[dwckabal]

26. My experiences

I am 36 years old, never married, no kids; here's why:

while I was away in college, my GF of 2 years cheated on me, said she was lonely (and I wasn't?)

The one girl I should have stuck with I let get away (I still regret that)

After that, I've been in relationships for 4.5 years and 2.5 years, with about 3 years in between. None worked out, but there were no hard feeling, either.

Don't look at your relationship as wasted time. I'm sure you're angry, but you've got to move on. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I know that one day, I'll meet the right person. I don't jump headfirst into new relationships, because they almost always fail later (especially if you are just trying to fill the loneliness void). Get used to doing things on your own; it'll help when you do meet someone, you won't have to depend on them for everything (not that you do now; I'm just saying that when people get comfortable in relationships, they start depending on that person more and more).

Good luck, and remember to move past the anger.

[MissMillie]

4. I haven't been able to trust men

since my last boyfriend and I broke up more than 4 years ago.

And not only do I not trust, but I haven't been able to let go of the anger.

Frankly, I don't know how I ever will. (And yes, I've been in therapy.)

[corarose]

10. It's hard to let go of the anger

Because you never forget it.

[FlaGranny]

31. Anger is really a choice.

It sounds simplistic, but it's really true. You can decide not to be or get angry. Anger doesn't help you, it hurts you.

When I had to commute, I was developing road rage. My blood pressure went sky high and I got to work angry in the morning and got home angry in the evening. I started making a conscious choice to NOT get angry. It works, but you have to be aware how things affect you so that you can make the decision before your blood starts boiling. You have a split second to make the choice.

[Catfish]

38. Anger

I had big problems with anger toward the end of my last relationship and this was one reason I saw a therapist a few times. I think the anger was making me feel terrible about life and I wanted to stop it. It sounds simplistic but what I do now is if I feel like I'm getting angry, I stop and try to think of something positive to do rather than go with the anger. I still feel angry sometimes but it doesn't last and it's not often and I'm much happier.

[slackmaster]

5. I've been forced to set much higher standards

Been burned once too many by women with "issues".

I won't even consider dating one who doesn't give a first impression of being intelligent, sane, and drop-dead gorgeous.

[corarose]

8. Are you drop dead gorgeous?

Just curious!

[slackmaster]

12. Last night at a party several women complimented me on my looks

I was wearing clothing that reveals the fine sculpturing of my body better than the baggy clothes I usually wear.

I'm 45 and only slightly overweight. I could pass for 35.

[Liberal Classic]

39. Two out of three ain't bad

Cue Offspring's She's Got Issues And I'm Going To Pay.

[THUNDER HANDS]

7. Never!

Somewhere out there is the perfect woman for me. And sitting right next to her is the boyfriend I must kill.

:)

[La_Serpiente]

11. I hope you can learn from this young man's experience in my university

Letters to the Editor

Look for attraction not ease

Recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for another guy. It didn't leave me devastated but it did cause me to do a lot of thinking. Up until now, my experiences with women have not exactly been anything to brag about, especially with my abilities to attract them being few. Quite frankly, I'm growing a bit tired at having to sell myself in order to get one. I am beginning to believe that a relationship with a man would be a lot more appealing, and the potential rate of success becomes more attractive as days go by. I'm at a very big crossroads in my life and would really appreciate any help you can give me. Sophomore, Psychology

You can read the editor's response here

[MsFlorida]

13. Sworn off men, sworn back on men

Sometimes its just better to dress your cats up in tshirts

[corarose]

15. How do you know that I have cats?

LOL

[Catfish]

14. Try not to judge all men by the behavior of one.

I'm just a few months out of a bad relationship. I'm trying to learn something from the experience. I saw a therapist for a few sessions and he convinced me that the most important consideration in a relationship is compatability. My ex-boyfriend and I have vastly different value systems and did not respect each other. People who share some tastes and, most important, the same values and ethics are more likely to respect each other. So, now I'm determined to not use merely attraction and to be very clear about what is important to me up front. I don't want to give up on men and I don't want to give up on my own ability to have a good relationship.

[YNGW]

16. Love

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Who said that? I did!

:loveya:

dai

[Liberal Classic]

40. Inscription on a wall at Pompeii

He who loves should live
He who doesn't love should die
He who obstructs love should die twice

[TheZoo]

17. I've given up on women.

And I'm straight too.

What if you went with a group rather than you two only?

[corarose]

18. I don't know a group of people

When you are alone on your birthday and the holidays then you are alone if you know what I mean.

[TheZoo]

19. I know what you mean

I haven't celebrated anything since 10/1/01

Anyone in class that you could go with? Or maybe the guy who wants to fix you two up?

[Tyler Durden]

20. Not to minimize your pain...

But try this one on for size:

http://democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=448957

I'm happily married now for 3 years and the kids LOVE her.

[corarose]

21. Jesus Christ

She was a f*cking bitch and still is.

Sorry!

[shanti]

32. i am feeling you!

it sucks to be alone on your birthday and holidays...i broke up with my bf of 3 yrs a week ago, and sometimes it feels like being kicked out of an airplane without a parachute. however, i feel a lot better now that the stress is gone.

i have ONE friend, a guy friend of 15 years, but he's on the hunt for his current prey now and doesn't have time for me now. so it's just me and my son, and that's ok. my priority is him, as it should be.

i've had so many failed relationships that i need to swear off men (for awhile anyway) too.

this too shall pass, girlfriend. hang in there!

[corarose]

33. My Best male friend died years ago

We use to talk on the phone several times a day and I miss him so bad he was my best girlfriend/male friend.

[shanti]

46. it's nice to have a friend guy, isn't it?

and so rare...

[radwriter0555]

42. Being alone is a choice. You COULD have spent your birthday in

a kid's hospital ward, reading a book or with some seniors who have no family left and who sit in wheelchairs all day.

You could have volunteered at the local animal shelter. You could have given a matted up dirty doggie a bath and made him all shiny clean to be adopted. You could have spent time socializing a scared little baby kitty.

You could have spent the day in a park, reading a book.

You could have sat on a wall looking at a river, or lake or ocean.

You could have hiked in a park or in the woods.

You could be a big sister for some little girls who could use some sisterly type of companionship cause their mom and dad aren't around.

Life is what we make it. If we're lonely, it's by our own choice. It's all about excuses and not real reasons.

In order for people to come into your life, you have to walk out the door of your own house, or prison that you've made for yourself.

The world really IS your oyster. It's up to you.

[camero]

22. Don't give up, I'm here

I have a 2 dogs too. :)

It may seem bad now but don't give up, there are alot of men out there. And you will find one that makes you laugh and be happy all day long.

I keep swearing off women, but I can't, it's too ingrained. All I can do is to keep chomping at the bit until I run into the right one.

[MsFlorida]

23. when I'm single for holidays

I spend my time working with the shelters that provide dinners to those who otherwise would not have one. It certainly helps me to really put things back in perspective as to what is really important.

[LastTime2BeFree]

24. Never ever give up

A bucking stallion threw me once. I got back on and connected with him.

I slid off a corner on my motorcycle and was laid up for six months. I got back on and used my four month reading and studying the art of two wheeled cornering and got back on. Slow, Look, Lean Roll.

A coworker tried to get me fired for personal reasons. I helped her complete a big project afterwards on my own dime. She was changed.

There are too many people and too many personalities to condemn them all without giving them a chance to be themselves.

Never give up hope.

[Jonte_1979]

25. Not all men are jerks and

bla bla bla yadda yadda yadda - you know the rest of it.

[underpants]

27. Me too

Hey just take some time, time heals all wounds.

[thom1102]

28. I have...

But, then again, I'm gay, so I have always been less than interested in the opposite sex :evilgrin:

[LastTime2BeFree]

36. Gay and Straight are each 50% of the whole

To be only one or the other is limiting yourself to half the pleasure.

[Chilly_Willy]

29. Try, try again

I am sorry you were burned. So many woman and so many men have been burned by their fiance's in the past in so many ways. It's aweful and when you care about a person and open up to them you expect them to be gentle, but sometimes we all get hurt. It's not just men. It's not just women that screw up. It's everyone at one time or another. Not every man has the same morals, values, or personality.

Try, try again. No matter how bad it hurts when the break up occurs it's better that the relationship was broken up then to be with someone you aren't meant to be with.

[Faygo Kid]

30. I'm done. All done with relationships. And they were women.

Still enjoy my second wife's company; but she's 600 miles away, and it won't work (we've tried). But, my life is in ruins, as a long-time successful professional (until last two years) with many friends, because I gave up too much for women. Know thyself. I know me. Never vulnerable again. There's a great relief in knowing that.

[Kamika]

34. So.. I think I speak for all of us when I ask this. Are you going lesbian?

enquiring minds wants to know

[corarose]

35. Hell No I am the exact opposite

I don't mean Hell No in a mean way either. I love Men and I love how men feel, smell and the way that they touch you.

I love Men but I don't want to be used ever again.

[corarose]

37. One other problem you can't kiss one with false teeth

I am too young (I am not that young) to have false teeth and I would be way too embarrassed to kiss one ever again so I have to put up a WALL.

Like I said I have given them up.

[bratcatinok]

41. Psssh!

You don't have to put up a wall or be embarassed unless you really want to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having false teeth no matter how young you are. I know it hasn't been that long that you've had them and if I had to guess, you're probably still going through a grieving process for your natural teeth. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face though.

Would you make fun of someone who had false teeth? If you found someone you were truly interested in would you not pursue getting to know him just because he had some type of prosthetic? Girl, don't give all your power away! We all have things we're self conscious about. Yeah, you might run into some people who are jerks and who'd have a problem with your false teeth but that's their problem,not yours. That's the perspective you have to take. After all, you don't want to have a relationship with those types of people anyway.

[corarose]

43. I wouldn't turn a man down with false teeth

I am still freaked out over the fact that my real teeth are all gone and I use to be a Dental Assistance right out of High School.

[RebelOne]

44. I gave up on men 10 years ago.

I decided that I did not need the aggravation.

[LastTime2BeFree]

45. What was your sampling?

Out of three plus billion men in the world how many did you meet?

10, 100, 1000 a million?

[Deja Q]

47. I'm a gay guy and I've sporadically given up on men too

Most men are jerks and the seemingly good ones are taken, hetero, and/or not interested in me.

At times I greatly miss 'the touch of a man' too. But I've lived on and found plenty of things to do.

Society is also evil for hyping up sex and coupledness all the !&@^#%$ing time too.

[LastTime2BeFree]

50. What's wrong with hetro men?

Most honest hetro men I know enjoy the company of gay men. You may not get a good long term monogamous relationship with them but lots of short sweet moments add up in the long run. Life is too short to waste its best moments.

[Deja Q]

52. Point taken!

Of course, you can't do *THAT* with them because they think it's gross, immoral, or whatever else... :-( But nobody's perfect... Many hetero men are okay though!

[LastTime2BeFree]

54. Nothing "gross" about it

Unless the lucky hetro has a dozen gay men in reserve :-)

[stevedeshazer]

48. Way to write off half the population

I've been burned, too, and more than once.

Bitterness will only prolong your self-imposed agony. I hope you will find the strength to move on.

[onebigbadwulf]

49. Yes

I gave up on chicks. Not worth the hassle

[shoopnyc123]

51. Honey, I gave up on them a while ago...

They think with their, well, you know...
Girl, DO the Blind Date. I am getting the feeling that people are much more open to the blind date thing...Let us know what happens if you go!

[LastTime2BeFree]

53. Honey, those are not men

The ones thinking with the wrong head are those that have yet to reach manhood. Real men know when to think and when to act. There are plenty out there but most are over the age of twenty five. Seek and you will find...

[dreissig]

55. Chasing Men Away

I've met women who chase men away, and they don't even know it. They are so vulnerable that it's difficult to act normal around them. They never find out what they're doing wrong because there are lots of confident women around. No reason to jump through hoops for the ones that won't let you relax.