Newest discovery of chemical element in Washington DC

[LEW]

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

We don't know who wrote this brilliant take on our current state of affairs, but it is being passed around everywhere on the net and thus we help it along. If anyone knows who wrote it, we'd be happy to give credit where credit is due...otherwise we appreciate those anonymous voices who so generously pass their creative gems to be enjoyed by all.

[GOPBasher]

1. That's friggin hilarious!!

Did you make that up or did you find it somewhere? It's funny as hell! :rofl:

[LEW]

5. i found it on another web site and have

edited the post to reflect that point. Thanks

[stop the bleeding]

2. Too bad this new element can not be split in a particle accelerator

:rofl:

[amitten]

3. Has anyone tried to dissolve this element with hydrochloric acid?

Just wondering.

[politicaholic]

4. OMG that's funny!!!!!! Verrrrrry Good! n/t

[patrice]

6. Most people would say that, while amusing, your metaphor is not Real.

I would like to propose, that though I may dispute some of its characteristics, there are hierarchies of Reality where Governmentium is Real (in somewhat the same manner as that attributed to Leibniz's monads).

[ProfessorGAC]

7. I Might Have A Different Take Than The Rest Of The Gang

I suspect this was written by a "small government" type. Perhaps a liberterian or something like that. I read as an indictment of government in general, not a shot at the current gang of thugs in charge.
The Professor

[GOPBasher]

9. You're probably right, but I still think it's funny.

I don't necessarily agree with the author, but it's still funny.

[Greyhound]

8. LMAO! We have got to get this on the front page!

Fucking hilarious... :rofl: :rofl:

[flamingyouth]

10. ROFL

Very funny. :D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

11. ...

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

That's too effing funny!

:rofl: