How Old Were You When You Found Out Santa Doesn't Exist?

[THUNDER HANDS]

I was around 8 years old and some kid commented on the playground that there was no Santa.

I got confirmation from my parents later on, which really shouldn't have come as a suprise to me.

After all, our house didn't even have a chimney. So when I asked my dad how Santa got into the house, he said: "He uses the door."

So how old were you?

[underpants]

1. ~3 My brother's hippie teacher decided to share this with them

So what did you learn at school today?

There's is no Santa Claus

(sound of spoon hitting the floor)

[Shrek]

2. No Santa? That's just kooky talk.

I see him at the mall all the time. You're insane (or perhaps just unobservant).

[meegbear]

3. That's not him ...

those are his helpers. He's at the North Pole right now, making toys for all the non-freeper girls and boys.

[THUNDER HANDS]

8. funny thing about mall Santas

I was watching something on the news yesterday and they had an item on Mall Santas.

You know the No. 1 reason why mall Santas have been arrested?

(BTW, a LOT of mall santas have been arrested, apparently)

Yup. Indescent exposure and soliciting prostitution.

Think about that next time you let your kid sit on Santa's lap.

[rbnyc]

4. I don't think I ever believed in Santa.

If I did, I don't remember. Maybe my mom remembers.

[SOteric]

5. Sooo...No ChanuClaus then, either?

Bummer.

[VelmaD]

6. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

*sticks fingers in ears and sings "Mary Had a Little Lamb" at the top of her lungs so she can't hear Magic Rat*

[Zero Gravitas]

7. 32

I was devastated.

[Faygo Kid]

9. Mom (goodbye) fumbled for presents in the closet.

Woke up when she made so much noise, after my brother and I went to bed. Turned over (at, I think, 8) and went back to sleep; already confirmed what I already suspected. Mom raised two sons alone. She died at 85 in September, and the memories are flooding back about Thanksgiving and Christmas this holiday season. A wonderful, hardworking and much loved woman, by her family and others.

[wtmusic]

10. He doesn't?

[bif]

11. I had my suspicions when I was 10 or 11

And one day I snuck into my parent's bedroom and opened up their closet. There was the pile of wrapped Christmas presents. I was shocked. But I kept it from my two younger brothers.

[corarose]

12. I was around 18 years old

Just kidding!

I was 7 years old and I was a noisy kid and I was rummaging through my parents closet and I came across a shopping bag with toys in it so I got pissed off and I asked my Mom who she was giving those toys to because I wanted the same ones and she started BS'ing me and then I came across a Santa Claus suit and I said hey wait a minute what kind of a game are you playing on us kids and she told me that Santa borrowed my Dad the suit because he couldn't make it that year. Then I told another kid next door that Santa picked my Dad out to be Santa and she told her parents and they said BS their is no Santa.
All the kids on the block thought that my Dad was going to be a SKINNY Santa until the kid next doors parents went nuts and said BS Santa's not SKINNY and he doesn't have a hillbilly accent either.
They told us Santa was a fictitious Character that parents had made up.

[SmileyBoy]

13. I figured it out by the 4th grade.

I was initially devastated, but got over it quickly. I figured that as long as I was getting presents (from my parents), I was content. The only care for Santa I had when I was a little kid was the fact that "he" gave me presents. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised that I didn't find out sooner.

[Clovis Sangrail]

14. No Santa, No presents

When I was 7 or 8, shortly before Xmas, I told my mother 'I knew' there was no Santa. She said if I didn't believe, he wouldn't bring me anymore presents.

To prove me wrong, on Xmas morning there were presents for everyone... except me.
Thankfully my grandmother opted out of this little bit of abuse, and gave me a present later in the day.
(30 years later I still have that present)

[MercutioATC]

15. I was 2 according to my mother.

I asked her and she tried that "spirit of Christmas" stuff. When she was done, I asked her for a straight answer. She told me the truth.

[truthspeaker]

16. 6

I figured it out for myself.

The Christian God followed later that year.

[parasim]

17. what are you...

... some sort of conspiracy theorist? no santa? right. i suppose the next thing you'll claim is that the earth is not hollow!

:tinfoilhat: :tinfoilhat: :tinfoilhat:

[eyesroll]

18. I grew up Jewish, with the expectation

I would keep quiet about Santa, as not to spoil it for my gentile friends.

(For comparison: I figured out the whole tooth fairy thing when I lost my second tooth.)

19. Proof of the existence of Santa dupe

dupe

20. Proof of the existence of Santa

this is from Writing on Drugs by Sadie Plant

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0312278748/qid=1069791961/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-2270919-1464740?v=glance&s=books

There are some fifty varieties of Amanita muscaria, a mushroom that is widely distributed among the birch and fir trees of northern Europe and Asia and also has close relatives in the Americas. According to Valentina Wasson and Gordon Wasson, whose two-volume Mushrooms, Russia, and History remains a classic of ethnobotanical - or more precisely, ethnomycological - research, the fungus has been used for thousands of years and can be traced back to the first retreat of the ice cap from the north. (page 98)

The fly agaric has influenced far more than modern slang. It is there in countless fairy tales and children's stories, and it is widely suggested that fly agaric is the mushroom that Alice eats in Wonderland. Among the mushroom's most well known effects are the telescopic and microscopic syndromes that play such a central role in the story, and Lewis Carroll - himself a double of Charles Dudgson - had access to several studies of Amanita muscaria and, very possibly, to the mushroom itself.

One of the most enduring manifestations of its old shamanic routes visits the modern world every year when Santa Claus, dressed in red and white, flies through the sky in a sleigh drawn by reindeer bearing gifts from another world. (page 99)

this is not in the quote, but is relevant

---the amanita muscaria is red & white, Mongolians feed it to reindeer to "process" it since it goes through the reindeer's body without the active chemicals breaking down

[geniph]

21. I never believed in Santa

that's one of the side effects of being the youngest of 13. Your elder siblings disabuse you of many such notions quite early. Such as the notion that you have the right to exist without being used as a punching bag.

[smirkymonkey]

22. Santa doesn't exist??

Who is going to bring me my Christmas presents this year??

[BeHereNow]

23. What are you talking about?

What kind of question is that?
Santa is real, and I know cause he always
eats the cookies I make him and leaves a thank-you note.
I suppose next you are going to suggest that GeorgieW is
not a Christian?
BHN

[scottcsmith]

24. I proved he didn't exist

Talk about anal retentive. My family had a habit of opening the presents a few days before Christmas, and leaving one or two under the tree for Christmas Eve. One year we opened everything early. When I woke up the next morning and found no new presents, I deducted that there was no Santa Claus.

[populistmom]

25. I can't remember ever believing in Santa.

The story apparently was that when I was 3, I asked my mom how Santa delivered all those presents. Well, being the brutally honest (always with a smile) kind of person she is, she sat down and told me it was just pretend and there was no Santa.
For my children, my oldest is 11 and she no longer believes and my 8 year old is begiinning to highly suspect something's up. I believe in letting children have a little bit of magic in them when they're young.

[Coventina]

26. I was raised as an unbeliever

My parents thought that it was wrong to tell us lies.
They did tell me about the historical St. Nicholas, however.
I never felt that I missed out on anything.
:shrug:

[mlawson]

27. Same here.

My mother said she considered telling children such tales, as lying. I appreciate that very much now.

By the time I was six, I was busy disabusing my cousins and friends of that silly notion. I had just gotten my first encyclopeadia, and I pointed out that it was impossible for one person to cover the entire earth in one 24-hr night. Besides that, I asked them if they had ever seen a deer FLY.... Some cried a bit, but they should have been GRATEFUL to me!

Ah, the satisfaction of a job well done. :evilgrin:

[MrSlayer]

28. 7

Didn't bother me at all once it was confirmed that the presents were still coming.

[MrSlayer]

29. 7

Didn't bother me at all once it was confirmed that the presents were still coming.

[Kellanved]

30. Me too

German Style: St. Nicholas day on 12/6. That Holiday was changed to accomodate the American Santa - bringing sweets to kids.

[Spock_is_Skeptical]

31. I figured it out really early

I was around 3 when I remember asking my mom nosy questions about Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I told her that I didn't think any of them existed, because I had found some gifts my mother had hidden in the closet.

I was really hoping she'd deny it, and say, "Nooo, he really exists," but she just looked at me and said, "You're pretty perceptive. Didn't take you long to figure that out. Now don't go spoiling it for your brother."

I was kind of upset, and then had this shocking revelation, "So mom, this means that God is just make-believe, too!"
Her response was, "Don't push it," or something similar. It really left me feeling depressed. Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy & God, revealed to be phonies!! In one day! It was almost more than I could bear, I remember feeling really let down.

[leftofthedial]

32. What??!! What do you mean?

No Santa????!!! There is too!

[peterh]

33. This kid just wasn’t ready for the news….

[ronzo]

34. Yes, Magic Rat, there is a Santa Claus...

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:


Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon


Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

- New York Sun, 1897

[CSI Willows]

35. 1st grade

Heard it from Hebrew school....they told us that none of any of the mascots of holidays exist...easter bunny, santa, etc...i was too young