I dread tomorrow

[catmandu57]

I've never been a big holiday person, it's not that I'm anti social, well, maybe a little bit. Coming up, seems like every holiday ended in disaster, a real national lampoon black comedy.
I never spent a thanksgiving or Christmas with my father's side of the family, they're the ones I identify with more, but the divorce put the screws to that one, and every year I got thrown together with people I didn't like, didn't want to be around, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
As soon as I could get the hell away from the snake pit, I was just as happy for years to cook a turkey TV dinner put on Alice's restaurant, watch football, and celebrate with whatever cat was living with me.
Now, my wife expects me to at least drive up to her family dinner for an hour anyway, and once again be thrown together with people I don't like or want to be around, and it sucks big green one's.
I'm hoping that I'll wake up with the flu or something, so I'll have an excuse just to stay home and be here with people I really want to be with. Have my momma cat jump up on my lap, try to type around her, and listen to Arlo.
Well, to all others about to be freeped tomorrow, I will feel your pain as well. Damn the things we do for love.

[1monster]

1. Put on a happy face, and pretend you are an anthropologist going on a

information gathering mission. Be careful not to express any opinions of your own; as in Star Treck's Prime Directive, you don't want to contaminate the development of an emerging people with information from a more advanced culture.

Be objective as possible. Rememeber, you are an academic scholar trying to understand and interpret tribal interactions of a vastly different culture that only looks similar to yours.

While you are doing this, try to imagine just how you would put your observations in your master thesis on this adventure. That may even make tomorrow amusing and entertaining.

Good luck, and I hope you have a really good Thanksgiving.

[ikojo]

5. Wow! I think I will bookmark this thread and

refer to it the next time I go to a family function. My siblings are all pugs and while they don't have well thought out reasons for being pugs (for most it's the abortion issue) they don't like that I loath the current inhabitant of the White House.

This is EXCELLENT advice. Remove your emotional self from the situation and replace it with a more academic/logical version and act as an observer.

The notes one could take of my siblings! No, just kidding. They are great, but in small irregular doses.

[omshanti]

2. Smile and nod, dear, smile and nod.

That's what I do at awkward family gatherings.

Plus -- offer to be the one to run errands and go to the store for last minute things, etc. The family will love you for it, and you'll be able to get some alone time. If the weather is not too bad, go for a walk or something Friday morning - again, alone time is important.

[ikojo]

7. Another thing I do, as well as offer to run for errands,

is if there is a bike around, I'll ask to ride it and just ride for awhile. It gives me exercise (much needed because when we get together we get our "eat on" that is for sure) and I have alone time. Another thing about riding a bike around where my sisters live is that I get to see the area up close and personal.

I also escape to whatever computer happens to be free. I often schlep my laptop with me so I'll hook up to the Internet or watch a DVD.

Another thing, if your family is anything like my siblings and mom, there is more than one television in the house. Escape to a room, preferably a bedroom, with a TV and "take a nap." That's good for at least an hour or so of alone time.

Yes, if managed well and properly family time can be grand!

[geniph]

3. Don't go

have the wife tell 'em you went to your own family's gathering. I used to pull that one all the time with my ex-husband, so I could stay home and stay away from the cloying annoying togetherness rituals with people I really didn't like much and didn't want to be around.

Or go for about an hour, then claim you have to rush off to another family gathering and go home. That one works pretty well too - you get free food, but don't stay long enough to get really sick of 'em.

[flamingyouth]

6. I agree with this

Make this your last turkey day with undesirables. Seriously - you're under no obligation to feel miserable. Also, the "leaving shortly" idea is great too.

I'm pulling for you - good luck and take care.

[mlawson]

9. No kidding, DON'T GO!!!

You do NOT have to be programmed into this media driven nonsense!! I will NOT kill you to NOT eat turkey tomorrow, and your arteries will thank you later!

[Kamika]

4. just smile and eat

Even if the company sucks the food is great right :)

[gratuitous]

8. Next year . . . or next holiday

Host a DU get-together! I'm sure there are some evil DUers in your neck of the woods. Interesting people, scintillating conversation, and best of all, nobody going on and on about how great they think Stupidhead is!

Just don't invite Matcom.

[BlueJazz]

10. Eat 2 large cans of Beans before you go.....

They won't want you back next year!

Mr.Bush Baud Man! He Vedy, Vedy Baud Man!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. sorry to hear that

Maybe you can make them miserable and then they won't invite you back :D

[Skittles]

12. I don't like the family holiday thing

it strikes me as very phony with so many people doing things they don't want to do. I avoid these things if I can.

[mlawson]

13. OMG, my colleague goes through THIS every year:

She and her (male) partner have both been vegetarians for many years, and are in their early 50s. YET, every year, they feel they MUST go see his family in Knoxville (likely to be repukes), who have zero sympathy for vegetarianism. Every year, they demand that she bring them either a ham, or a turkey, which she does. When they get there, the family ALWAYS conveniently 'forgets' to prepare anything without meat or poultry stock in it, so my friend and her partner have to take along their OWN food, if they want anything to eat!!!

In total amazement at her story, I asked her why in the HELL they go, and put up with this?? She just shakes her head and says, "Oh, Mark, we HAVE to!!!" This woman is a university dept chair, and she is as prorammed, as couch potato to do just what the media tell her to do! It just blows my mind!!!!

[scottcsmith]

14. Come down with strep throat

Me, my wife, and my step-son all came down with strep throat...so no family gathering for us. I kind of like the idea of a Thanksgiving with just the three of us.

[geniph]

15. Yes, contagious diseases work well

to get out of family obligations if you aren't willing to be as big a butthole as I am. I just refuse to go. Life is short. My family is psychotic. I see no reason to make myself miserable, so John and I have a nice quiet weekend together. :-) :-)