anyone other than me "opting out" of the holiday thing

[RainDog]

for Thanksgiving?

I got about two hours of sleep last night, my kids are going to their dad's house this year, and I really don't care about doing the whole dinner whatever thing this year.

However, if you actually tell anyone this, or at least I found this out, they try to force you to come over to their places for Thanksgiving!

They are sweet gestures, I know, but it seems like people feel weird if you don't want to do anything for Thanksgiving.

I rented Blue, by Kieslowski. (White is probably my favorite in the trilogy, but it wasn't in the library.)

Plus, I got that feel-good Thanksgiving DVD Apocalypse Now, which I haven't seen in forever. When I did see it, I got a migraine, it was so disturbing to me.

I'm gonna do absolutely nothing except water my plants in my bathtub and read Reefer Madness.

(btw, did any of you ever hear that Joe McCarthy was most likely a morphine addict? That's what Schlosser says in this book.)

So am I weird to be looking forward to this?

[Don_G]

1. I'm Opting Out Too

My Mom died last February, no close friends or family nearby other than one fat, hairy cat.

I'll probably go to the store later and get a turkey - Wild Turkey 101.

[RainDog]

4. hey, fat furry cats are good.

No turkey of any kind for me, wild or caged.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

I come from a large family and we used to have thirty people at a Thanksgiving dinner, so for me this is a very different thing.

I'm just not into it all anymore.

maybe another year, but not this one.

[childslibrarian]

2. Hey, I'm exhausted

Going to drive to see family, fixed all the food, your day sounds really great....

[NightTrain]

3. I'm opting out of Thanksgiving, Xmas, and possibly New Year's.

Oh, and I'll definitely be opting out of Valentine's Day! :puke:

[RainDog]

6. you're just a hopeless romantic, huh?

:)

[Nikia]

5. That reminds me that I should call the emergency shelter again

My husband is not coming home until Friday night and I decided that everyone at work is alright without me joining them and wanted to volunteer somewhere. The first two places I called wouldn't answer their phones. The emergency shelter receptionist said that I'd have to talk to the volunteer coordinator who was suppose to call me back. He hasn't. I am having second thoughts though. I don't really want to drive all the way there, 30 miles away (I hate driving and still am not very good at it). My little town with under 10,000 people though doesn't have any community free meals for me to help with.

[politicat]

7. We are.... no kids, no family in 1000 miles, no one we want to impose upon

And we don't do TV and especially not football.

So I rented Pleasantville, The Italian Job and Dark Knight (it looked interesting). I've got a chicken in case we decide we want the dinner... but probably not. Probably do nachos, pizza and left-over Chinese.

(I'll do the chicken Sunday with spatzle.)

I feel weird celebrating a day that I know essentially celebrates genocide. I may have had ancestors on the Mayflower (mom's side) but that doesn't mean what they did was right. (and the whole puritan thing creeps me out.)

Thus, no.

Best, And enjoy your day off,

Politicat

[RainDog]

11. Thanks, and you too.

some guy contacted me when he was doing a genology thing and told me my ancestors came to Canada from Cherbourg, and i suppose migrated south from there.

I don't think the holiday celebrates genocide...not that that isn't a horrible legacy of while settlement on turtle island.

sometimes I try to wonder what it would be like to live in a society which sees itself, truly, as part of the entire ecosystem, and not as lord of it.

[Cheswick2.0]

22. the pilgrims were not puritans and they did not commit genocide

that happened earlier from when the first explorers landed. Vast native populations were wiped out before the Pilgrims got there. That is why there were cleared lands for the early arivals to settle on.

The Pilgrims were seperatists:
<<<John Robinson (1575-1625) was the pastor of the Pilgrims after their removal to Holland in 1607-8, and many of his writings survive--giving us a direct view of the Pilgrims religious beliefs and theology.

The Pilgrims' separatist movement can be directly traced back to John Calvin (1509-1564) and Calvinism, from which also descends Puritanism and Presbyterianism. The Pilgrims' separatist movement sprung up from primarily Nottinghamshire, where Richard Clyfton and John Robinson, both Cambridge alumni, began their preaching. Beginning in 1604 with the ascention of King James I, the persecution of Protestants increased. Members of Clyfton and Robinson's church had to meet secretly, and were hunted continually by the authorities--and when caught, thrown in jail. By 1607, they could no longer take the persecution, and made their escape to Amsterdam, Holland, and a year later moved to Leyden where they established their congregation.

In addition to John Robinson, William Bradford and Edward Winslow have added their own remarks to various theological debates of their day. Below is a basic outline of some of these religious beliefs supported and practiced by the Leyden Pilgrims. For those who are interested, the Pilgrims used John Calvin's Geneva translation of the Bible, nicknamed the "Breeches Bible".

>>>
Happy Thanksgiving

[impeach the gop]

8. I've been on the wagon for years now :-)

No holiday is gonna ruin my day off :-) I just tell the family I'm in mourning, and it just wouldn't be right to be having all that bonding and eating with my recovering dysfunctional close knit family :-)

Sure is nice to enjoy not having to play the happy as shit holiday happy camper. No kids also highly recommended

Enjoy your day however you wish to celebrate.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

9. I would opt out of it if I could

Don't get me wrong. I love my family and with my mom aging, we cherish every holiday regardless of the stress it induces..but frankly I am not a holiday person.

I really am not a Thanksgiving Day person since I TRULY HATE turkey (I eat the side stuff and take what's left to make soup with)

Anyway...a trip to North Hollywood is in the cards for me tomorrow as well and that too is a bit of a hassle.

I'd rather sit home and eat cornflakes.

[ima_sinnic]

10. we've been opting out for years

from Thanksgiving AND Christmas. Mr. Sinnic and I are just a couple of hermits with no family nearby. I always send my elderly dad and my daughter's family (2 grandsons) some Christmas presents but that's it. No turkey, no tree, no nada except hours and hours of nice free time for relaxing and doing whatever we want. Some years we volunteer at the homeless shelter/soup kitchen but did not get around to putting our names in for this Thanksgiving. As far as I'm concerned, Christmas especially is way too overhyped. Yes, it's true, people do think you're weird if you "don't do anything" for those holidays but I consider them weird for putting themselves through so much stress and expense.

[RainDog]

12. I've talked to my kids about volunteering

and work a food kitchen for future Thanksgivings. Since it's just the three of us, I think that's also a good way to celebrate, if you want to.

I can't hardly keep my eyes open anymore. I nearly feel asleep in the bathtub this morning, too!!!

[Lars39]

13. We had 3 dinners to go to.

We've gotten out of 2 so far. Can't get out of the 3rd. Back about 10 yrs ago, we were fully expected to attend 5 dinners. Just about killed us.

[sleipnir]

14. "Red" is the best, by far, I did a final class thesis on that film

[RainDog]

16. Oooh! tell me about it

what's your take on Red, and the trilogy, too.

Did you see the polish televsion series from Kieslowski a few years back...it's on video, and also stunning in its own way.

[enough]

15. The whole robotic holiday dance

makes me feel sick.

It starts with Thanksgiving and doesn't let up until after New Years.

Over the years I have done everything I can (without totally alienating parents, inlaws and children) to try to do things that "feel good" and make sense to me about these holidays. But I can't shake the feeling of being remote controlled by some crazy societal computer that's making me (and most everyone else) do things I don't really care about for reasons that are certainly not my own.

It's funny, it worked for a few years (cutting back on my participation) but now it seems the pressure's getting stronger again to just "relax and enjoy it." As if resisting it is making too much of an issue -- like what's wrong with me anyway if I can't just enjoy a nice delicious feast with all trimmings and all the blowhards.

But I don't WANT to. I don't want to go, and I don't want to explain why not, or make up another excuse. I just wish it would all go away.

[Demobrat]

17. I opted out a few years ago.

It's been a long time since I felt I "had" to do anything for Thanksgiving or any holiday, and thank goodness for that. I'm single, so I get the occasional pitying look when I say I'm not doing anything, but so what? I don't want to do anything. What family I have isn't here, and other people's family's holidays hold no interest for me. A few years ago a good friend confirmed what I suspected all along. She begged me to come to her family Thanksgiving at her mother's for the second year in a row because if I didn't the family would be at each other's throats. I declined. As for tomorrow, I will be walking down to Chinatown for a nice Peking duck and cleaning my closets. I can hardly wait.

[Ellen Forradalom]

18. I have a kid, so I can't, really...

but marrying Jewish and substituting Hannukah for Christmas has really cut down on the holiday hassle for me. I more than make up for it at Passover, though.

[KCDem]

19. I think I will in the future.

I love my parents, but we have totally different expectations/goals. They think you should do things, even if it makes you miserable, to go along with societal norms. I am of the "do what you want to do" mindset. Frankly, I don't WANT to spend all day on a holiday (or, for that matter, any day) in the kitchen while the menfolk watch sports. Fuck that. Plus, tomorrow is my baby's 2nd bday. To me, that's far more important.

My oven broke today. My mom's having a cow, but I'm at peace with it. In the future, I'm going to do the holidays MY way: enjoy the day fully, do fun things, get take-out on paper plates. What could be more enjoyable than that? Oh, wait, I forgot to mention: get plastered. Yes, that would be the perfect holiday. :evilgrin:

[RainDog]

26. Happy 2nd Birthday to your sweetie pie! n/t

.

[demigoddess]

20. Oh boy would I love to be able to opt out

but with children and grandchildren one is really not allowed to. I really want out when I hear they are opening the stores for after thanksgiving shopping at 5:30 am on friday. That is really obscene. I would hate to have that job these days.

[enough]

21. Each generation does it for the others?

You feel you're "not allowed" to opt out because of children and grandchildren. In my family everybody says they do it for the old folks -- the grandparents.

Strange system in which we all see everybody else's expectations as forcing us to do what we don't want to do.

Help, lemme out of here!!!!

[prolesunited]

23. Whatever you do

I hope you enjoy your day.

[Nlighten1]

24. I wish I could...

other than the food this is my least favorite holiday. I want to replace it with Festivus.

[RainDog]

25. what is Festivus?

assuming you're not already doing the Holiday thing.

and btw, peace, happiness and goodness to all of you.

and in the spirit, if not form of the day, God bless the whole world, without exception.

[Scott Lee]

29. I think it's a "Seinfeld" invention

if my memory of that episode is accurate....somebody might correct this.

[RainDog]

31. oh okay, it's a "george thing" if I remember now. n/t

.

[catmandu57]

27. I'm going to try

my wife expects me to join her at her mother's later, I would rather just stay here. I like my mil, and her boyfriend, we have them out occasionally, the rest of her family though....
Her brother is a whacked out freeper wingnut, and I'd just as soon stay away from, sis smokes like a fucking chimmney, and there isn't a designated smoking zone, like outside away from everyone who doesn't enjoy polluting their bodies and the air that everyone else has to breathe.
So, I'll sit here for as long as I can, wait for her to call and ask me when I'm coming, maybe by then I can just opt out, she knows I don't do family stuff anyway, coming from the original dysfunction.
I don't know why people can't just leave those of us who don't embrace this crap alone.
I mean so far there is still a war going on, people are still dying there, there are homeless sould wandering the land, hunger is rampant, want and need are everywhere and growing, and I'm expected to attend a tobacco smoke filled gathering.

[RainDog]

28. I love my family (of origin)

but they live too far away for a one-day trip.

my parents, and my step-mom, have passed away, but my sister has taken it upon herself to hold a big family gathering for whoever can or wants to drive/fly/walk/bike/horseback ride to her place in the mtns of North Carolina...which is a definite draw.

but my sibs are 1. Texas oil-y-crats, or 2. religious fundamentalists, or 3. nascar xenophobes, 4. step brothers who didn't help out when their mother was dying of cancer, tho my sisters and I did... we're all very, very different...you'd wonder how we all grew up in the same family, (families, as parents died young), but we did.

all of our kids are the real reason to get together, though, if it's feasible to make the drive, but since I work tomorrow, I won't be going 8 plus hours one way in a day.

as long as we don't talk about religion, politics, money, hobbies, music, film, food, books...and other things, we all get along. :)

that leaves plants and children.

I get along with my ex-husband now, but not his live-in (expletive deleted). And of course I get along with my children...who also think my family is weird, but they love them, too.

[onebigbadwulf]

30. I would if I could

but my mom would glow a gasket