Okay - I'll fess up. My dirty little secret: I'm Thomas Kinkade

[Rabrrrrrr]

http://www.thomaskinkade.com

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Now you really suck!

:evilgrin:

[Liberal Veteran]

2. Arghh!!!!! A pox on you!

Those paintings are so over the top. The first couple of times I thought they were really pretty but after a while it just got tired.

[Catshrink]

16. Paint by numbers

They're "originals" because Thomas Kincade himself paints maybe two or three brush strokes on a canvas, the rest are mass produced. It was on 60 Minutes or one of those show. Phony. I've heard it called "embellishment art."

[saline]

3. grrr

we had a kinkade gallery in our town, I hated it from the second it moved in. I never went in and never would. Cookie cutter art like that should be relegated to the dumpster of art history.

[peacefreak]

4. Sometimes it's better

to KEEP one's dirt little secrets! LOL

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. I felt it was time to come clean,

and let you know I'm not the abstract expressionist I pretend to be, but am actually a devoted Christian, a Painter of Light(tm), who wants art to be pretty and bring back fond memories of an America that liberals have destroyed.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

8. Thank God. I wish someone would. You know those damn

New Yorkers have messed everything up.

GodSpeed good soldier, carry the Cross high.

:evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Damn Soddomites.

Bless you, my brother in this crusade!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

18. Yea, as I was just walking down Lexington Ave, I spied

the horrible fruits of the liberal world.
Women holding hands in public.
Men, dining with men, clearly in love.
I sensed the souls of aborted babies outside Planned Parenthood NY, and smelled the stench of depravity from the opressed homeless conservatives in the streets.

What a wicked, wicked Liberal city we share, my brother.


God help me, I love it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

37. I also felt the life-hating thoughts of the passing muslim cabbies

and the freedom hating of the French tourists.

Surely this is a sinful city, full of iniquity, and shall be punished in the end time. I remember Abraham asking God, "Will you spare Soddom if but one righteous man can be found within?" But with this modern day Soddom, I know that there is no use asking that question, for apart from you and RBNYC and NewYawker99 and I, all of whom Jesus himself will personally rescue in the end-time, there is no righteous man in this city.

[greatauntoftriplets]

5. EEEEEKKKKK!!!!!

n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Although it's good news for GOPisEvil,

since it means his painting is actually worth about $8,000.

Nice appreciation on assets GOPisEvil!

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Does this mean we get a deal on stationery sets???

;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Yes - and one of my Master Highlighters will glady

make each one AN ORIGINAL for only an extra $45 per card.

[maxanne]

12. I've gotta tell ya, Tom

your paintings really suck. You sure are creating a little empire though. What's next - black velvet paintings of light?

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. Actually, those will be in my Elvis Christ series

coming out just after Christmas! It'll be my first time doing a painting of light on black velvet, and I think you'll find new depths to your Christian commitment through them.

Thanks for asking!

[Devoir]

13. Thomas Kinkade is to painting what Barry Manilow is to music

And Joyce Kilmer is to poetry. And Stephen King is to literature. And Geraldo is to journalism. And Anna Kournikova is to tennis. And Chi-Chi's is to Mexican food

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Wow

You rate him far higher than I would, except perhaps Geraldo - Kinkade and Geraldo are about equal in integrity and insight and willingness to pander to the lowest common denominator.

And forgive my sports idiocy, but I thought Kournikova was like the top-rated tennis player?

Anyway, back to me being Thomas Kinkade...

I'm hurt that you would criticize my Christian art. I'm only trying to help people mourn the losses they are feeling as they grow old and America becomes more gay friendly. They long for the days when American houses were in the Englaish thatched cottage style with abundant gardens next to burbling creeks with stone footbridges over the streams.

[Devoir]

17. LOL.

You're OK when you aren't sucking up to your pals on other threads:)

And poor Anna is still searching for her first pro tourney win...but she is the probably the most sought after female tennis player (unless it's Serena)

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Really?

I don't follow sports at all - certainly not tennis - but I heard so much about "Kournikova this", "Kournikova that" in the last year, I just assumed she was the top player.

I can only assume she didn't take Wimbledon?

Apparently she's spoken about so much because she's apparently very attractive to people. Was that the deal with her? Just lots of lust?

And I don't suck up to my "pals". Please don't imply that I do.

[Zomby Woof]

19. I am afraid ...

...I am going to have to kill you!

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. 'tis a fair cop.

[SOteric]

22. The Great Furniture Store Artist...?

Don't be offended, but I won't be mentioning to my friends that I know you.

[Philostopher]

23. They've actually built a housing development *somewhere*

In which the houses are based on the 'aesthetic' of Kinkade's paintings. They're all pseudo-colonial two-stories with fake twelvepane windows in which one could place one of those electric candles, should one so desire. I don't know if there's a link on his site for the development or not, nor do I remember if he approved it or if somebody just 'thought of it' out of a clear blue sky. If so, they should be rendered to make candles, and the candles should be burned immediately.

They sell for something over a quarter of a million dollars, and each one comes with its own Kinkade original as a 'feature' in the living/drawing room.

Don't ask me where it is -- I had to take drugs to make myself forget, to prevent me from getting in my car one day, driving there, and setting every stinking one of them on fire.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. Yes, of course!

Trying to take America back to its roots of English style cottages with original paintings in the living rooms and stone footbridges and closed communities of white - that is, Christian and moral and not listening to rock and roll and other deviant musicks - people.

[kskiska]

32. I remember reading an article about the housing development

but prospective buyers were disappointed because the houses didn't look like the ones in the paintings. The developer claimed that it wouldn't have been cost effective.

Those paintings are strange in that there are no living things in any of them (that I've noticed), and the all the lights are burning in broad daylight.

The 60 Minutes segment was hilarious. Morley Safer, tongue in cheek, interviewed collectors of Kinkade's "art." They were deadly serious about it. I remember one couple who owned hundreds of Kinkade "art." Their walls were covered with nothing but Kinkade. They ran out of wall space and rotated the paintings.

[Philostopher]

34. I found the story I remember reading ...

It was on Salon, but I think it's all available because it's from the archive:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/style/2002/03/18/kinkade_village/

I especially love the fact that every time they use the phrase 'Painter of Light' they put the 'trademark' symbol after it. Not that I'm not absolutely sure Kinkade has trademarked the phrase, mind you, but it just makes such entertaining commentary on the whole phenomenon, that he's trademarked that ...

[BlackVelvetElvis]

24. This thread is a scream!

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Did you check out post #14?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=459729#460021

My Elvis Christ series.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

31. Hah!

When I lived in FLA, they used to sell black velvet paintings on the roadside. One of them was Elvis (the fat one) and Christ hovering above. I forever regret not buying that one.
Baby make my dreams come true!

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. OMG!

I've never seen one of those! I would pay (almost) dearly for a velvet Elvis with Christ in the background! That's so utterly tacky, I want it in my church office.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

39. I feel you and I are one soul on this one brother kinkade

[Rabrrrrrr]

40. Aye, that we are!

Now that I know they exist, I will frequent more flea markets in search of one.

Thanks for letting me know!

[Catshrink]

26. Thomas Kinkade competing with Velvet Elvises!

Elvis wins, hands down!

[woofless]

28. Could be worse, you could be Sam Butcher

He of the Big eyed kids. (Precious Moments my ass.)

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. I was tempted to admit to being him, too

But I'm not sure if I'm ready for that much revelation.

[Philostopher]

30. There's another guy who did big-eyed animals

Gig, I think it was. Mother has a print of one of those -- a beagle sitting teary-eyed next to a crust of bread with a frayed rope around his neck, if I remember correctly:

http://members.tripod.com/~besmirched/eyes.html

On edit -- I actually had the 'Little Miss No Name' doll that's on this page. It scared the living crap out of me when I was a kid, I don't know what ever happened to it. Considering I used to shoot Malibu Barbie into the swimming pool with a slingshot, I think we can guess about LMNN's fate, though ...

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. I grew up with a couple of big-eyed animal prints in my room

I had a big eye cat (which if memory serves is the one at the beginning of the page you linked to) and a big eye dog, but I don't remember what that was. I'm thinking with a trash can, but I also know I'm mixing this with "Lady and the Tramp" imagery.

Tacky and horrible.

I don't know why but (this is the real Rabrrrrrr speaking, BTW) but considering the amount of tacky art in my home (we also had the dogs playing poker and the dogs playing billiards), I'm surprised I wasn't sucked into that paradigm, instead of spending my life fighting agaisnt that paradigm.

[Philostopher]

38. The only big-eyed animals on the wall in *my* room

when I was growing up were Peter Frampton and Robin Zander. But that's another kettle of fish entirely. The starving beagle puppy is now on the wall in the dining room, if I recall correctly. I'll get to look at the starving puppy all through Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what possesses my mother...

[BlackVelvetElvis]

33. I thought Keane was the progenitor of big eyed art

The big dewey-eyed urchins are known as "Keane kids". Google it!
They are now quite trendy and collectible.
Of course, due to American tastes and demand, there were many knock-offs.

[David Zephyr]

41. Thomas Kinkade. Argh!

Stop this man before he paints more of this sappy crap.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. I'm kicking it just for one more round of Thanisgiving-inspired

hatred on the man who isn't an artist and who, perhaps more than anyone else (except maybe Kenny G, N'Stink, Brittney Spears, and Tom Cruise movies), symbolizes what's wrong with America.

DU's spewing against this man was so wonderful last night, I want to get one more round in from the day crowd.

:-)