OK. I brined the bird for 12 hours, but when I went to carve it was raw!

[fishnfla]

What did I do wrong? Did I miss a step?

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Didst thou cook it?

Didst thou smiteth it first?

[fishnfla]

5. verily, I was told

thy salty brine was all one needest to do.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. Then increaseth thee the salt that they brine becometh like

the Dead Sea, where our brothers didst smote the infidel mohammedans, and thy turkey shall be cooked forthwith and unto like a thing angelic.

[agingdem]

6. You missed a step...

the one between brining and carving...roasting!

[Dogmudgeon]

2. I Brined My Bird ...

... And All I Got Was This Lousy Turducken!

--bkl
Done Been Brinin' My Bird for Jesus ...

[trof]

3. Double the amount of salt for 2 more hours.

That oughta do it.
;-)

[fishnfla]

4. Roger 2 more hours ought to do it!

I shall ply my guests with wine and beer. They wont know the difference.

Sushi Turkey, yeah thats it!

[hlthe2b]

7. I hope you are going to serve...

a Kaopectate/ciprofloxacin cocktail to go along with the Salmonella...

Seriously, please be careful!

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Might want to just take the whole meal and serve it in the emergency room

so that there's no need to call an ambulance, or ask someone to drive while ill.

Turkey sashimi - not the best Thanksgiving idea.

[trof]

13. Sushi turkey? I think you mrean "Tushi".

Or is that "tushy"?
No, wait...that's something else entirely.
nevermind

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. Hey no sex threads!

Even for old men. :D

[trof]

16. Eggzackley. This is a no-sex thread.

Geezers don't like Ess-Ee-Ex cause it's nasty.
;-)

[Hand]

21. Hey, wait a minute here...

I'm a geezer and I LIKE ess ee ex because it's nasty!

:evilgrin: :bounce: :nuke:

[trof]

24. well then yer just an ol prevert

;-)

[Hand]

43. Yes...

With a BIG shit-eating grin!

B-)

Um... so to speak.

[wryter2000]

9. Cook it unstuffed

It'll cook faster if you don't stuff it. Cook the stuffing on the side, in a bowl, covered with foil. Check it from time to time to make sure it hasn't dried out. If it has, add a little chicken broth.

[SOteric]

10. Keep roasting the turkey until the temperature

at the inner thigh joint (where the drumstick meats the turkey groin) reaches 155 degrees F on an instant read thermometer. Then let the turkey stand for 10 minutes after you've taken it out of the oven. (It will continue cooking for a few minutes from the residual heat).

If the turkey is already the perfect toasty golden brown, cover it with foil before you put it back in the oven.

[fishnfla]

12. Golden brown?

Its kinda gray with green edges

[corarose]

20. You need kitchen bouquet for the browning because

It might not brown properly after it has been brined.

[SOteric]

28. Kitchen Bouquet is a beef base

and your bird will brown properly if it's basted in butter or pan drippings.

[corarose]

30. No kidding Sherlock but you can use it to brown Poultry

Why aren't you at your families restaurant today serving food?

[SOteric]

31. At the expense of it's flavour

You don't read very well if you were ever under the impression that I would be at a restaurant serving food.

[foxy]

34. I did read that you had a most excellent menu in store

How's it going?

[SOteric]

38. It's coming together nicely.

And the boys are already arguing about politics and the Euro.

[slor]

14. No matter what you read...

brining does NOT cook the bird. Brining is to seal the skin and add flavor, then you MUST cook it.

[fishnfla]

42. when you say must

there is no ifs ands or maybes?

[trof]

17. Did y'all know that the word "gullible" is not in the dictionary?

Check it out.
:evilgrin:

[corarose]

18. DO NOT TAKE THAT BIRD OUT AT 155 THAT IS WRONG!

My Culinary College recommends the temp to be between 170 & 180 and I would take it out at 175.

THIS IS FROM THE TURKEY FEDERATION.
Insert thermometer in the deepest part of breast or thigh. The thermometer should reach 170°F in the breast or 180°F in the thigh.
When inserting the thermometer in the breast, insert from the side. The thermometer is easier to read and more accurate than when inserted from the top.
Be sure to insert a thermometer into each bird.

[corarose]

19. How long did you cook the Bird? The Brine will discolor

The meat on the inside and it will make it look a pinkish color depending on what you used to brine it in. Salt cures meat and the end result can be a pinkish color which will fool you so you have to take the temp but do not serve it at 150 or you will end up in the emergency room. It's better to be safe then sorry.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. I don't think he's cooked it - or plans to cook it - at all!

Seems he has the impression that he can just brine it, and that will 'cook' it, like throwing shrimp in lime juice.

That's my fear, that this bird will never see an oven.

[corarose]

23. You can't eat Turkey cervechi

:puke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. No, you CAN eat it

You just likely can't SURVIVE eating it.

:evilgrin:

[corarose]

26. Can you imagine what it would taste like?

Have you ever had undercooked chicken before? :puke:

[SOteric]

29. I think you mean "Ceviche"

[corarose]

32. Thanks Can I count on you as my Spell Check from now on?

:kick:

[SOteric]

33. You may rely that if you continue to give inaccurate information

and I read it, I will point it out.

[corarose]

37. Your family owns a Restaurant then why aren't you at work?

I am just curious about this.

[SOteric]

39. You have never read anywhere my saying "my family owns a restaurant"

but as it happens, My brother owns and operates one in California's Sonoma Valley. And my mother was the executive chef at one before her death two years ago.

My brother's restaurant is closed on Thanksgiving day, and he's here cooking along with the family.

[Cleita]

27. Stick a meat thermometer in it and put it in the oven

Until the thermometer says it's done.

[trof]

35. I say again...Did y'all know that the word "gullible"

is not in the dictionary?


Check it out.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. I looked, and you're right - it isn't!

Check it out!

:evilgrin:

[fishnfla]

40. Someone played a mean trick on me

they didnt say nothing about no oven!

I'm afraid that every opinion that my mother-in-law has about my so-called intelligence has been proven today. This is a disaster!

Great-grandma ate it, now shes looking kinda grayer, with green edges.

This will be the last time they ask me to host!

[Rabrrrrrr]

41. LOL!

Add more salt to your grandma!