Anyone hear any good Republican jokes this Thanksgiving?

[Wolfman 11]

Here's mine (abridged, as told from memory):

A guy traveling on business in San Francisco has some free time and stops in a curio shop downtown to pick up a souvenir. He's browsing and doesn't see anything spectacular until a finely made brass rat catches his eye. It is incredibly detailed and shines brilliantly, right down to the whiskers, but he is alarmed at the price tag, which reads $1,025. As he is standing there pondering it, the shop owner walks up and asks him if he needs any help.
"I really like this rat, but it seems pretty expensive to me," he says.
"Oh the rat itself is just $25. The thousand dollars is for the story behind the rat."
Excited, the man says, "I don't care about the story, just give me the rat," and hands over the $25. He tucks the package under his arm and begins walking back to his hotel. A few moments later he hears a nipping sound behind him and turns to see a couple of rats following him and hopping up at his package. He is only slightly perturbed and continues on. A couple of blocks later, he feels something brush his leg and turns to see several dozen rats flocking and swarming behind him. He quickens his pace and begins to run, and the next time he turns around there are literally thousands of rats chasing him. He spies a wharf directly ahead of him and sprints towars it. Upon reaching the water he hurls the brass rat into the bay and crouches, bracing himself as the multitude of rats jump into the ocean and drown. He sits there a moment, catching his breath and then his face lights up and he races to the curio shop. The owner is awaiting him with an expectant look on his face and says, "you ready to pay the thousand dollars to hear that story now?"
The man says, "to hell with the story, I want to know if you have any brass Republicans."

This joke was told by my uncle, who was a so-called "Reagan Democrat" and is very religious. I laughed and I was also relieved, because it kind of broke the ice and I discovered that a lot more of my family were fed up with things than I would have imagined.

The end to my heartwarming Thanksgiving story.

[FloridaPat]

1. Bush & Lincoln

Bush was wandering around the White House late one night and runs into the ghost of Lincoln. THey get to talking and Bush asks Lincoln what he could do to help the American public. Lincoln tells him "You might go see a play".

[sasquatch]

2. What do you call republican only bars?

Monkey Bars

[sasquatch]

3. What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a Republican?

The bucket:)

[Norbert]

4. Karl Rove was drivint through Arizona

on the way to Texas. He noticed a native american hitchhiking. Thinking how boring the trip has been he decides he could use some human conversation he picks up the hitchhiker.

The native American was gratified that he was able to get a ride. About a mile into the ride though he noticed between them a long slender paper bag with something in it. Karl realizing what the native American was staring at said, "It's a bottle of vintage wine. I got that for pResident and Mrs. Bu$h."

After a momentary pause the native American says, "Good trade."