Are you single? Are you damn glad you're single?

[HEyHEY]

I can be all wimsy wassy on the subject as much as I want to. But I gues I'm in the middle....on one side I enjoy my freedom and like my transient lifestyle (or did when I was living it). But other times it'd be nice to have a signif other type around - so what the fuck do I know?....how about you?

[MrScorpio]

1. No and Fuck no.

In that order

[Syrinx]

2. I'm single but I'd like a wife

Or at least a girlfriend.

[corarose]

3. Hell Yes!

I don't take shit from jerks at all and I am FREE!

[HEyHEY]

5. yeeehhhaaa!

:-)

[punpirate]

13. I tried to answer a similar post...

... on a similar topic. Was too difficult, in a way. I'm middle-aged, and time and possibilities limit the ways in which I meet others of the opposite sex, and the reasons for doing so at my age have less to do with really hot, hard sex (although, there is that, too), but more with familiarity, comfort and comfortability.

I had a girlfriend four years ago who dumped me, for reasons I don't still understand, nor does she, I think. But, in May, she had a catastrophic auto accident, incurred considerable brain damage from which she's had to recover with a lot of work, and I found out about it in August, wrote her to wish her well, and that created a couple of months of correspondence and phone calls. Her personality and sense of humor are much unchanged, but she will have lots of persistent vision and olfactory problems because of her accident.

I could have stayed away, thinking that she was too brain-damaged, too compromised to be any sort of companion, but I didn't, and she wasn't. She was, four years ago, comfortable and familiar to me--her sense of humor matched mine, and she had similar beliefs to mine--about social justice, about unions, about politics, about life. Today, after much therapy, she's pretty much herself, and we still agree about a lot of things.

When one is young, maybe it's all about sex. But, later, it's about companionship and understanding and about knowing the essence of the other person and finding that essence to be exquisite.

Lust is one thing, and it survives even years of difficulty. But, if you can find someone you really like, really admire, love follows.

Cheers.

[caledesi]

15. OMG PP! That was beautiful. You must have read "The Road

Less Traveled" - Scott Peck, bec you have what he defines as "mature love."

[Booberdawg]

24. "The Road Less Traveled" by M Scott Peck

One of my favorite books ever!

The very first paragraph in the book:

Life is difficult.

[SOteric]

4. When I'm single and when I'm with someone life is good.

I'm flexible and I know how to enjoy whatever life I've got.

[HEyHEY]

7. Stop rubbing it in

god your kind makes me SICK! ;-)

[SOteric]

12. *smooch*

[Catshrink]

6. ITA

You said it. Sometimes I want an SO, sometimes I like things just the way they are. With 5 cats, most men look at me as a crazy cat woman anyway -- and I can't see giving up my critters. But cats can't go to ballgames or out to dinner or help lay tile in the bathroom. Sigh. I'm not particulary motivated to change my life.

[nyrnyr1994]

8. yes and yes

Quite happy right now in my solitude, until I'm not of course (As many keep telling me...not listening!):crazy:

[corarose]

9. I also will beat a Man's ass if he gets out of line with me

Just kidding.

[HEyHEY]

10. Does it say that in previous personal ads?

[corarose]

11. Personal Ads.............Shhhhhhhhhhhhh Don't Tell Anyone!

Some people think that S&M means Spanish and Mexican but it doesn't does it.

[Name removed]

14. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[caledesi]

16. Well, I have spent a great deal of my adult life single (don't ask)..

(3rd marriage, but this is the last & don't assume I walked on the last two) but I can tell you, there are a lot of advantages to being by yourself.

You don't have to answer to anyone.
You don't have to check w/ anyone concerning your schedule.
You can eat whatever and whenever you want.
You can wear your PJs all day, if you want.

The trick to to somehow find a person that is so mellow that most of the above doesn't matter. I have found that person. (It took awhile and a lot of heartache in between). But hell, that is life.

I TRULY believe (call me naive), that there is one person out there for each of us. S/He will find you!

[JohnKleeb]

17. You all know duh

Yes :( and Hell no, I want a date dude, but I am so shy, plus you know I want someone to talk to share, to laugh with, etc, and plus come on dude you know how people are, now I am not talking about sex for say but if it got to it why not, *remembers to buy condoms* heh.

[RebelOne]

18. Yes. And hell, yes

I've been through the marriage trip. Once was enough. The more I know men, the more I love dogs.

[MissMillie]

19. spent 22 years looking

and managed to hook up with the worst kind of men.

Now I don't trust myself to find a good one--why should my taste improve now?

It would have been nice to have a partner in life, someone to share all the joys and challenges. But I don't think it's in the cards.

On the other hand, it's nice not to have to always check w/ someone when I make a big decision.

[kodi]

20. yes and yes

nobody else will make you happy.

[Catfish]

21. Yes and

yes if the alternative is life with the wrong person. It's much better being alone than living with someone you've come to dislike. The worst is living with a liar.

[Deja Q]

22. 'Freedom for self' at the expense of no nookie?!

Dunno. All I do is update my website with more gibberish about me. :D

[forgethell]

23. Been married a long time,

thirty years, in fact. Don't remember much about single life, Don't want to. As I DO recall, it was a LOT less about hot sex, and a LOT more about loneliness.

Good luck to all of you who are looking.

[DEM FAN]

25. Well I Am 33 And Have NEVER Dated. I WANT A WOMAN DAMN IT.

:D Being Single Is Fine For A While But I Want To Have Someone
As A Best Friend and The Great Things That Come With Having A Love
Life. :-)

[bikebloke]

26. Aye. And have accepted the situation.

I adapted to the solitary life. Though it would be nice to have a partner. However, I absolutely will not get involved with medicocre company just to break the solitude. There have been dates where the women were game and I could have played along. Better to break off early, than cruise along growing miserable, eventually hurting some feelings. Anyway, I seem to click with Europeans and Aussies, like we're on the same frequency. Not to say there aren't any here in the Evil Empire. They just seem fewer and farther between.

[Booberdawg]

27. I am single and have always intended to stay single

I saw too many his, hers, ours, and theirs marriages and divorces among mothers, fathers, stepfathers, stepmothers, etc. about relationships. Cripes I have to count 2 or 3 times down on my original parents and 5 times down on my first stepfather! Why in Gods name would I want a piece of any this? LOL!

Did that answer you question? I think I just amused myself by answering it! ROTFL!

[camero]

28. I feel the same way

But I just keep picking the wrong women. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have to put up with bickering and other times I miss the closeness.
Especially at night.

[supernova]

29. Yes, I'm glad I'm single

I too went through the marriage mill once, and it was not a good experience.

But, I'm free now to look for the kind of life that makes sense to me, if to no one else.

As for relationships, it would be nice to spend time with someone, but I'm insecure about my judgement about men. Who is a good person to spend time with and who is not? I don't think I know.

[Character Assassin]

30. Yes and yes. Hello traquility, goodbye lunatics.

[Kenneth ken]

31. Yes

and mostly.

I like the freedom of not having to consult with any one about anything i choose to do. That's pretty huge, as it affects all aspects of one's life.

There are times when it might be nice to have a SO - it's a little difficult for me having people over to visit. I feel like I need to be both host/server/waiter and entertainer to them. It would be easier to have someone to help with those duties. So usually, I tend to make sure I invite enough people that they can help entertain each other, like 2 couples instead of 1, but still sometimes I feel odd-man out. I probably don't know enough other unattached people at this point in my life.

What I really want is a SO tool. Have her available when I have use for her, but stick her in a closet or something the rest of the time, like a drill or power saw or any other useful tool. :D
That's why I'm not activley loking for someone to date. I really have much more respect for women than the above would seem to imply.

[supernova]

32. I know exactly what you mean

Especially since I am small, I would love a good Mr Fix it who could repair appliances, move furniture, paint, and be a good-looking escort for certain occasions. Then go away. :D

My problem is I don't know enough other single people that we could help each other out. I'm hoping that when I start film school in January, that will change.

[Cheswick2.0]

33. yes single, sort of ready not to be anymore

but I would not settle for anyone just to be attached. He would have to be kind, intelligent, have a great sense of humor, love my kids even though they are 21 and 23. He would have to be interested in theater and music and go to church with me. He would have to be interested in local and international mission, not to convert people but to make their life better. He would have to be left of center and love the outdoors, camping and canoe trips etc....

I would not want to be with someone who thought the perfect weekend was smoking grass and watching football. I was already married to that person and he bored the crap out of me.

[HEyHEY]

34. yeah, stoners make crappy dates

yeah gotta have interests I can't believe some of my friends who just vege out with their girlfriends all day...what's the point, you know..

[supernova]

35. I wouldn't want that either

I've thought a lot about this issue of different hobbies/pastimes/interests.

My feeling is, he doesn't necessarily have to share them, BUT, he does have to be respectful and supportive of the things I do enjoy. And yes that would mean occassionally participating and/or accompanying me.

[Cheswick2.0]

36. just crappy dates for me

I guess for other women it is just fine.
The point is not that everyone should do or think as I do, only that the person I shared my life with should. To be married to someone who does not share in your interests and values is a very lonely situation. Sexual chemistry doesn't make up for everything.

[Catfish]

39. Loneliness

I agree. I think it is more lonely living with someone with whom you are not compatible than it is living alone. One problem is that sometimes sexual attraction can be confused with compatability. I hope I've learned my lesson about that.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. Hey, Cheswick, if you find someone like that...

would you be willing to share? I don't have any children, but I wouldn't be going on camping or canoe trips, so you could have him all to yourself then. :-)

It's probably good that we live in different states so that there is no potential for conflict.

[UrbScotty]

37. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

38. Yes and No

nt

[Skittles]

40. YES AND YES

I HAVE NEVER FELT THE NEED TO TORMENT THE SAME MAN FOR LIFE.

[Booberdawg]

41. ROTFLOL!

You just move me to distraction sometimes, Skittles. :D

[Nikia]

42. No, this week I felt kind of single though

My husband has been Europe this week and should be flying back right now. I've been kind of lonely. I would not want to be single again. If you with the right kind of person, you can be fairly free to do things that you want to do, at least occaisionally. It is good to find someone who you like being around and shares many of your interests so you both can do what you want and be together. Beware of the potential SO who doesn't want you to have any other friends or interests or wants you to make some other major changes in your life that you do not want to do.

[Ellen Forradalom]

43. How about 'I wish I were single'?

I am finding holy deadlock to be totally overrated.

[HEyHEY]

44. holy deadlock..haha

like that one

[Hell Hath No Fury]

46. Yes and yes most of the time...

I have been single all my life -- never took the marriage trip, though I was invited. As a woman, the idea of "marriage" makes me cringe and want to run away.

Most times I thoroughly enjoy my singlehood, but there are times I wish I had a fella in my life. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

47. Single, and ambivalent

On the one hand, being single means freedom. I could leave academia and start a translation business without worrying that I was going to place financial pressure on a spouse or starve innocent children. I could just pick up and move halfway across the country without much fuss. I work odd hours, since all my clients except one are in Japan. I know that being in a bad relationship is worse than being alone.

On the other hand, I've been happiest when I've been in a good relationship. Even though an SO takes up time, in one sense, I seem to do everything more efficiently and have less trouble concentrating when I know that there's someone else around. There's less social awkwardness when you're part of a couple, since we live in a world that's built around couples. You're rarely faced with the grim prospect of coming home to an empty apartment after a fun evening with friends.

There are plenty of single men out there, but I've had enough experience with the types that I DON'T want that I can spot them a mile off. The best relationships I've been in have involved a real meeting of the minds, a sense of being on the same wavelength, almost to the point where we can function as a spontaneous comedy team. I've had that kind of relationship twice (one broke up because of his short attention span--2 years-- and the other because of his paranoid, controlling loony of a mother), and after that, it's hard to settle for someone who's just "nice." (Note: I most emphatically do not go for warped or abusive types, but just "nice" is not enough.)

I broke up with a definitely "nice" guy because I could see that our attitudes of what constitutes a good life were completely incompatible. The sexual chemistry was not enough to compensate for the clash of values.

[leftist_rebel1569]

48. Yes, and no

I hate being single. But, it seems like no one would ever date me, so I'm stuck with it.