What is the quickest way to alienate a crowd?

[brainshrub]

The holiday season is upon us, and with it ample time to make fools of ourselves in front of our peers.

If you are at a polite party (i.e.: office party, charity event or church social.) what is the fastest way to alienate people:

[camero]

1. Talk about the crimes of Chimpy

always kills the conversation.

[brainshrub]

2. I wish I had thought about that before I posted the poll.

Even among people who like Bu$h, they don't like to talk about him in public.

[SOteric]

3. Try to sell them life insurance, or - especially effective for the ladies:

Talk in great and graphic detail about your menstrual troubles, the cysts on your ovaries, and your personal sexual history to all present. I'm acquainted with a person who does that. You've never seen a crowd disburse so swiftly.

[camero]

5. LOL

I once tried to call about health insurance for the self-employed after I found out I had diabetes. The salesman said noone would insure me and immediately tried to sell me life insurance.

These people are sick, I tell ya.

[bleedingheart]

6. bowel talk always disperses a crowd as well

my mother's neighbor managed to get an entire table to get up and leave as she discussed her chronic bowel problems..in detail...yuck...

[brainshrub]

7. I consider insurance salesman like Amway drones

at least in attitude and world-view. At least insurance peeps have a servace people can use.

For the guys: Talk about jock itch, or how your wifes private-parts smell funny. I know a guy who has done this twice. He is an utter moron...I don't know how he keeps his job.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Tell about how your testicles itch so much

so damn much that you're always scratching them, and scratching so much you don't even boher washing your hands any more because your hands were getting all chapped and dried out from the constant washing, so you just gave up and wash 'em only before you go to bed. Constantly touch people's shoulders and hands and arms and face when you tell them, and make sure they see you eating finger food.

[camero]

8. Or an orange.

So you look like they gave ya a new one...lol.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Ha ha! No one's gonna get that reference

I had a reference to saying "and tell them the only thing that helps is to put strawberries in your underwear". Also had something about aliens, but I realized it was all too much, and best to just be firect and talk about the testicles.

But I LOVE the idea of putting in an orange - you could say "Look how those bastards are swollen!"

[camero]

10. On the next episode of "The X files"

Gee why did they have to give you the wrong one?..lol.

[camero]

13. something else you could do

Squeeze a little juice from the orange, then shout, "Cleanup in aisle 5 again. Rabrr just busted a nut again." ROFLMAO.

[Name removed]

11. Deleted message

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[brainshrub]

12. I hate people who think they know everything.

They annoy those of us that do.

[corarose]

16. One person told me

That even thow I am going to Culinary College I still won't be a Chef after I get my Degree. They need to tell that to the Chefs that have never stepped foot in a College before in their lifes.

[Nikia]

14. Depends on the crowd

I would not recommend doing any of the following though if you do not want to alienate people. For some people, though, they will tolerate any of these social blunders while others will tolerate none of them. If you really want to alienate people, make fun of them or insult them in some way. Nothing is more alienating than something personal.

[CPschem]

15. talk incessantly about the rash you have "down there."

n/t