What should I make the topic of this year's APRIL FOOL'S article?

[bertha katzenengel]

Here is last year's:

If you ever park on the street in DC, beware.

From the Washignton Post:

D.C. Parking Enforcement Seeks New Fees on Meter Users
Officers say parkers are getting an unfair edge

By Trevor Jantzen
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, April 1, 2005; Page B01

Parking enforcement officers say people who use parking meters in the district are costing the city money.

"It's just not right the way they take advantage of parking space," says Shirley Henderson, a D.C. parking enforcement officer for thirteen years.

Many officers are complaining that they see people park in a metered spot, and then take "forever" to search for change in their cars, pockets, purses. One officer said he even saw a man scouring the curb and gutter for loose change with which to feed the meter. "I timed him," said the Officer Steve Brazil. "It took him seven minutes before he fed the meter."

"The time it's taking people to look for change should be added to the price of parking" according to Lt. James Washington, who has headed the Metro Police's Department of Parking Enforcement since 1997.

Washington proposes a multi-million dollar upgrade to the city's parking meter infrastructure. The purchase of a newly patented meter, comprising the bulk of the upgrade's cost, is estimated at $3.7M. Washington claims that this expenditure would pay for itself within three months.

The new meter contains a sensor that marks the appearance of a car in a parking spot. The meter then gauges the amount of time between that car being parked and coins being inserted, adding a fee to the meter. The meter's inventor, Q. Alouicious Philpott, says that it is up to the municipality to decide the amount of the additional fee. "Most cities charge an average eight cents per fifteen-second interval, rounded up." At that rate, the man Officer Brazil observed would have had to pay the meter an extra $2.25.

Parking and traffic advocate Crystal Green, an attorney in Southeast D.C., decries the fee as "ludicrous.

"Parking is bad enough in this city without adding the insult of an additional fee - a ridiculous fee," Green said in a telephone interview. "What's next? Parking enforcement officers following us, charging for the time it takes us to find a place to park in this city?"

Veteran "meter maid" Henderson thinks it's a great idea. "I once saw a woman dig in her bag for five minutes," said Henderson as she stood beside her double-parked enforcement vehicle on M Street in Northwest. "She didn't even realize that the time she was standing there was taking time away from the next person who would come along and park. If I could've given her a ticket, I would have. It's just not right."

Green, who has spent twenty-three years fighting the city for better streets and more parking access, wants to know where the extra income would go. Asked about this, Washington would say only that that is "up to the City Council and the mayor's office."

Mayor Anthony Williams could not be reached for comment, but his office issued a statement that this matter "has not been presented to us or to the City Council for consideration."

Officer Henderson thinks it's a great idea. "I mean, come on. How hard is it to gather up your change before you park?"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17094-2005Mar31.html

edited to remove hard returns

[bertha katzenengel]

1. I need some ideas. If I use one of yours, I'll STILL fool the lounge

when I post the story! :bounce: