The Shire... 60 Years Later

[THUNDER HANDS]

An old man, cloaked in grey, singing a strange song appears heading toward Hobbiton.

Will Pitt: "The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began...."


Artistus: "You're late!


The man does not look at the Hobbit at first, then turns slowly, with an emphatic expression on his face that begins to twitch.


Will Pitt: "A wizard is never late, Artistus. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.


<Both Will and Artistus slowly begin grin crack up into laughter>


Artistus: <Leaps into the cart and hugs the old man> "Its wonderful to see you William."


Will Pitt: "You didn’t think I’ll miss your Uncle BigMcLargehuge's birthday, did you?

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Artistus: William - I'm glad you're back.


Will Pitt: So am I, dear boy! So am I.


Artistus jumps off Will Pitt's carriage as it approaches BigMcLargehuge's house.

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A few hours later, at BigMcLargehuge's 111th birthday, the entire Shire emptied to celebate the amazing Hobbit's longevity.


Hobbits: "Speech, BigMcLargehuge!"

Hobbits: "Speech!"

Artistus: "Speech!"


BigMcLargehuge: "My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots.


Proudfoot Hobbit: "Proudfeet!


BigMcLargehuge: "Today is my 111th birthday!


Hobbits: "Happy birthday!


BigMcLargehuge: "Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. <CHEERS> I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

<DEAD silence from the crowd>


BigMcLargehuge: "I, uh, I h-have things to do. <WHISPERS to himself> I’ve put this off for far too long. I regret to announce this is the end. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye.

...

<BigMcLargehuge proceeds to vanish into thin air>


Hobbits: <SHOCKED> Ooooooohhh!

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BigMcLargehuge reappears some yards down to lane, heading back to his home. Laughing, he flips a ring in the air, catches it, and puts it in his pocket with a little tap.



<appearing from behind BigMcLargehuge inside his home>

Will Pitt: "I suppose you think that was terribly clever."


BigMcLargehuge: "Come on William! Did you see their faces?"


Will Pitt: "There are many magic rings in this world, BigMcLargehuge, and none of them should be used lightly.


BigMcLargehuge: "It was just a bit of fun, oh you’re probably right as usual. You will keep an eye on Artistus, won’t you?"


Will Pitt: "Two eyes, as often as I can spare them.


BigMcLargehuge: "I’m leaving everything to him."


Will Pitt: "What about this ring of yours, is that staying too?"


BigMcLargehuge: "Yes yes. It’s in an envelope over there on the mantelpiece."


"No, wait, its --here in my pocket. Heh, Isn’t that, isn’t that odd though? Yet, after all why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?"


Will Pitt: "I think you should leave the ring behind, BigMcLargehuge. Is that so hard?"


BigMcLargehuge: "Well no....and yes!....Now that it comes to it, I don’t feel like parting with it, its mine, I found it, it came to me!"



Will Pitt: "There’s no need to get angry."


BigMcLargehuge: "What if I’m angry it’s your fault! Its mine, my own, my precious."



Will Pitt: "Precious? Its been called that before, but not by you."


BigMcLargehuge: "Argh! What business is it of yours what I do with my own things!"



Will Pitt: "I think you’ve had that ring quite long enough."


BigMcLargehuge: "You want it for yourself!"



A darkness sweeps over the room. The lights on the fireplace flicker and dim. Suddenly the shape of William Pitt becomes stiff and menacing. His voice bellows in the night:


Will Pitt: "BIGMCLARGEHUGE BAGGINS!!! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks, I am not trying to rob you."


Will Pitt slowly retreats in menace and size. The shadows fall back.


"I’m trying to help you."


Peeling his petrified self off the wall, BigMcLargehuge starts sobbing and begging for Will Pitt's forgiveness.


Will Pitt: "All your long years we’ve been friends. Trust me as you once did, hmm? Let it go.


BigMcLargehuge: "You’re right Will Pitt, the ring must go to Artistus. It’s late, the road is long, Yes, it is time."


<BigMcLargehuge the door opens>


Will Pitt: "BigMcLargehuge...."


BigMcLargehuge: "Hmm?"


Will Pitt: "...the ring is still in your pocket."


BigMcLargehuge: "Oh, yes..."


BigMcLargehuge turns back from the door and takes his hand out of his pocket. He stares into his palm, then allows the ring to slip out of hand. It lands on the wooden floor with a loud thud.



BigMcLargehuge: "Good bye, Will Pitt."


Will Pitt: "Good bye, dear BigMcLargehuge. Till our next meeting."


Will Pitt gets up and walks over to the ring.



He stoops to pick it up, but stops short when he gets a flashing glimpse of the eye of Matcom.







He goes over to the fireplace to smoke some weed and contemplate.


<Voice of BigMcLargehuge: "Its mine, my own, my Precious!">


Will Pitt: <MUMBLES> "Riddles in the Dark."


Artistus: "BigMcLargehuge! BigMcLargehuge!"


Will Pitt: (mumbles) "My precious."


Artistus, standing by the doorway, looks down and picks up the ring. He turns and sees Will Pitt smoking by the fireplace and approaches him.


Will Pitt: (mumbles) "Precious..."


Artistus: "He's gone hasn't he? He talked for so long about leaving. I didn't think he'd really do it."


Artistus: "Will Pitt?


Will Pitt: "Hmm." <Smilies at Artistus> "BigMcLargehuge's ring. He's gone to stay with the elves. He's left you Bag End."


<Will Pitt holds out an envelope. Artistus slips in the ring inside. Will Pitt folds it closed and seals it>


Will Pitt: "...along with all his possessions. The ring is yours now. Put it somewhere out of sight."


<Will Pitt to up gets leave>


Artistus: "Where are you going?"


Will Pitt: "There are some things that I must see to."


Artistus: "What things?"


Will Pitt: "Questions. Questions that need answering!"


Artistus: "But you've only just arrived! I don't understand."


Will Pitt: "Neither do I. Keep it secret. Keep it safe."

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<At the dungeons of Barad-Dur>


<Darth_Kitten's voice is heard as she is tortured>



Darth_Kitten: "Shire!!!.......Baggins!!!


<The Gates of Minas Morgul open. Rabrrrrr rides out to find the ring>

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<Will Pitt rides to the outskirts of Mount Lounge and sees activity in the air. He heads towards Minas Tirith to read its ancient scrolls>

Will Pitt: <Reading> "Year 3434 of the Second Age. Here follows the account of Jeter, High King of Gondor and the finding of the ring of power. It has come to me, the One Ring. It shall be the heirloom of my kingdom. All that who should follow in my bloodline shall be bound to its fate for I will risk no hurt to the ring. It is precious to me, though I buy it with a great pain. The markings upon the band begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared, a secret now that only fire can tell."


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<BACK at the Shire>

<HOBBIT then off chopping wood. Dog barks incessantly, then backs off with fear>


Rabrrrrr: "Shire. Baggins."


Hobbit: "Baggins. There are no Baggins ‘round here. They’re up in Hobbiton, that way." <points down the road>


<Rabrrrrr rides off>

...to be continued...

[WilliamPitt]

1. BIGMCLARGEHUGE BAGGINS!!!

I just urinated on myself laughing. Very un-Gandalf-like.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Yeah, Gandalf shouldn't be urinating on himself.

maybe Gandalf had one too many martinis... :-)

EXCELLENTLY well done, Magic Rat!! Brilliant! I love the icons, including mine - I especially like the "Baggins" screech sound with it.

[WilliamPitt]

2. Kick!

Damn, folks!!!

[roguevalley]

4. This is sooooooo adorable. Kudoes to you, clever boots.

I can't wait for the scene where Aragorn and Boromir ... uh,
whoa. Wrong Lord of the Rings. ;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Kick, to save it from page 2

[HamstersFromHell]

6. Kick

Can't let this one go away...

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Gotta send it through one more time

:kick:

[supernova]

8. LMAO!

Kudos to Magic Rat! LOL!

I am never going to look at these books the same way ever again! :D Now how can I possibly enjoy The Return of the King now without thinking of everyone here?!

[populistmom]

9. Kick

Because I didn't tell MagicRat how cool this was. B-)

[Coventina]

10. ROFL!

That is WONDERFUL!

It deserves a :kick:

I haven't missed a previous thread, have I?

[THUNDER HANDS]

11. nope

Next one comes out tomorrow. :)