Ethical dilemma - just how nasty would this have been?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I was at a restaurant tonight, sitting by myself, and then 2 high school girls sat down at the table next to me, which table was about 8" from my table. So, of course, one I could see very well since she was across from me. The one next to me I couldn't see, because she was right next to me. The one next to me I thought was prettier, though.

So I thought, "Wow - how nasty would it be if I were to ask them to switch seats and tell them it's because I think the other one is prettier?"

Of course, I know this is absolutely terrible, and would never do it.

But I'm curious as to just how nasty it could be - could it be about the worst thing possible to say? I should think so. It would buy into all the cultural BS about valuing peple based on appearance. I felt terrible I thought it, but yet, it's a curious cultural phenomenon and worth looking into.

[Booberdawg]

1. Well yes, that would have been pretty rude.

Needless to say it would have hurt the feelings of the girl whose view you wanted to remove.

[salin]

2. Big difference between thinking something and acting on it.

Since these girls were not your date, and had not come to the establishment with you, it would not only have been rude to ask them... it probably would have freaked them out (and, no offense, but rightfully so).

However, thinking in these terms is human and natural. Fortately - certain things/impulses can be contained within our heads. So no fault to you for 'having the thought' (it happens). But big scary faux pas had you acted upon it. But you didn't. :D

[prolesunited]

3. No only nasty

but the fact that they were in high school (and IIRC you're a tad older), it would be a little creepy as well.

Sorry, but you asked. :hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. No apologies necessary

I know it would have been awful, and couldn't imagine saying it.

I was just asking to get a feel from others how truly awful it would have been.

And you helped - I hadn't even thought about the added awfulness of them being high school age, and at the point where they probably obsess endlessly about whether they are "good looking" enough.

I just find it sad that we have a culture that could actually spawn thoughts like I had, and in which we do indeed judge people based on assumed ideas of "beauty".

[Don_G]

4. Don't Worry About It Too Much

You didn't and you asked our opinion.

Besides, I'm a fifty year-old fart and as I recall, I didn't ask for any "cultural opinion" from my peers when I was your age.

Just do the best you can, when you can and try to think ahead a little bit.

Edited for an "o".

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. No, I'm not worried about it at all.

I would never actually say something like that.

It's just an interesting anthropological question/situation.

[SheilaT]

7. The level of rudeness

had you actually done so would have been pretty amazing. But you didn't actually ask, so you're safe.

Imagine instead you sat down with some buddy of yours, and some reasonably attractive woman about your age asked you guys to switch seats because, quite frankly, she didn't want to look at your face while she ate.

Think about it.

[Nikia]

8. Very offensive

They did not come to the restaurant for you to look at them. Even if I were the more attractive girl, I'd have been offended. My friend and I might have beat you up.

[Guaranteed]

9. Definitely rude...and self-centered.

I don't think I'd go so far as to say "nasty," though. If I was in there place, my first response would have been, "What makes you think I give a shit about what you want?" THAT'S nasty.

[Lars39]

10. Was the girl across from you a plain jane, while the one next to you

was pretty? You might have boosted the plain jane's ego at the other girl's expense, to say nothing of how it would make you look. :)
I've been the plain jane amongst my SILs. People really don't realize how much they suck up to someone who looks beautiful. The beautiful tend to think it is normal for people to comment on how well they look that particular day("my, don't you look pretty today, Suzy"), and then 5 seconds later say, "Oh, Hi, Jane. How are you?" I've sat through comparisons that had to be witnessed to be believed. I've learned to take it with a grain of salt, BUT, I've learned that it can be a character indicator, of the praised, and of those that do the praising, and of myself.

[Skittles]

11. um

how is it you help people find their self worth? :O

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. By comparing them to other people,

and letting them know if they stand well as they are, or if they should improve themselves to look like someone else! Just like Madison Avenue helps people find their self-worth. :evilgrin:

</sarcasm>

:hi: Skittles!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

13. Wow

That's pretty horrible and I can't actually believe you said that.

[salin]

14. from the mouth of our resident, wise

female teen poster... I think you have your answer.

Glad you stifled the urge.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. No, I didn't say it!

God forbid, I would never say something that nasty!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

16. but the fact that you thought about it...

is just sort of disturbing

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Aye, that it is.

I was mostly curious as to why dehumanizing thoughts like these pop into our heads.

And we all do it - make these idiotic little judgments on people we neither know nor ever will know.

[blondeatlast]

21. I think we have all had horrible thoughts

that we couldn't put into words. The brain is a marvelous editor, thank God (literally)!

[Cassandra]

18. So much for...

helping people find their own worth. :-(
Nasty, so I'm glad you didn't say it. You know, the less pretty one might have been the nicer person. The next time you want a view, sit by the window.

[VOX]

19. No ethical dilemma -- it'd be just plain selfish.

In your eye, one of the girls seemed prettier to you. This is a completely subjective judgement -- someone else might have thought the other girl was prettier. So, in order to please your own needs, you wanted them to switch places. Thus, this scenario is all about you, and not the girls at all.

Of course, you could always change your seat if you want to seriously ogle high-school girls.

Just giving you a hard time, dude. :toast:

[blondeatlast]

20. Do you write for reality TV shows? or Springer?

Terrible idea, for all the reasons you stated and then some.