Is life worth living without love?

[Feanorcurufinwe]

[johnnie]

1. ...

Do you mean being loved or loving something? Everyone has some type of love in their lives...no? Life is only worth a few bucks anyway, but to a poor person a few bucks is a lot of money.

[THUNDER HANDS]

2. depends

Is there still cable?

[SiobhanClancy]

3. As long as I have my cats...

I don't have to live without love:)

[brainshrub]

4. I'd rather live without love

if the person who I loved didn't love me back.

[Skittles]

10. the only thing worse than being alone

is wishing you were

[tjdee]

5. Well, what kind of love we talkin' bout?

There's all different kinds.
Love of work.
Love of family.
Love of friends.
Love of life.
Love of ice cream.

If you're talking that cheeseball lovey dovey googly gooby stuff...I decline to answer, LOL, as I am a cheeseball.

Is live worth living without any kind of love?
Probably not, but will limp along anyway.

[lpbk2713]

6. Other

How about with or without "like"?

[dreissig]

7. Lost Your Love?

Calm down. Love comes and goes. Things burn themselves out. If you think you can't live without love, you're wrong.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

11. Of course you can live without love.

Unfortunately.

[hlthe2b]

13. You can't receive love until you are able to love others...

and that includes yourself.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

15. Catch-22

[hlthe2b]

16. Not really...

It simply means that if you are feeling unloved, to reach out to others, who similarly may be feeling unloved. Reach beyond yourself. Ultimately, doing so, will make you feel better about yourself and, I truly believe, love will come your way as a result.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

17. Perhaps I should have asked

if life is worth living without the capacity for joy. I certainly do feel like I love myself and others but it is like spreading seed on bare rock. When you love and love and love and bring forth nothing but ashes you begin to wonder if you even know your own feelings or if you are just tricking yourself. But there is no mistaking that the despair is real.

I'm sorry to be such a downer.

[hlthe2b]

22. Fearnorcurufinwe

Everyone goes through periods of sadness, depression, despair. If yours has become severe or long-lasting, please seek professional advise and help. However, if something acute or a series of recent events has triggered these feelings, then I can only advise you to hold on to this thought, "this too shall pass." Reaching out to others and helping them with their problems is one of the best ways I know of to get your mind off your own and to begin to feel better. You really are part of a larger world and that includes your feelings and problems. Especially at the holiday season, there are many feeling their own sadness intensely. Taking time to listen/help them may very well diminish your own.

[kodi]

8. eros, agape, or philia?

.

[populistmom]

9. We all need human connections

Anthropologically speaking, I believe it's necessary for our survival, not just physically, but emotionally.

[DEM FAN]

12. Living Without LOVE SUCKS. I Want A Woman BAD Damn It LOL.

I Want Someone To Share What I Can Give To A GREAT Female. :-)

[FDRrocks]

14. Yes

[Guaranteed]

18. What the hell?

That's the second poll in a row where I haven't been able to pick my choice because it was deliberately not put on the list.

YES, life is worth living without love. Life isn't even about being happy. Life is about making progress, maintaining your integrity and values (or evolving them, spiritually), and justifying your existence with meaningful activities.

On edit: If life was a book written by God, the last words wouldn't be "And a good time was had by all."

[Feanorcurufinwe]

20. What is a meaningful activity that would justify existence?

[Guaranteed]

21. Helping others.

No matter how bad off you think you are, there are millions of people out there who have it worse than you, one way or another.

[Name removed]

19. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

23. I apologize

for posting this and the other downer thread. I actually do know better than to try to share my despair. I know that no one can cheer me up and I know that trying drag others down in the hole that I am is not a good idea either. And the cliche answers only infuriate me. The only thing to do is stay distracted, to keep up a pretense and hope eventually I can fool myself.

[Kanary]

26. no apology

"I actually do know better than to try to share my despair."

Disagree. The only way to make despair bearable is to *share* it. Other cultures know this, and it is accepted. It's just that our culture subscribes to the "buck up" theory of relating.

Despair usually comes from a sense of alienation, so it stands to reason that alienation sure as heck isn't going to cure it.

I agree completely that the "cliche answers only infuriate me". You are striving for honesty with yourself, and that is sooo very difficult in a society that demands that you put on a smile no matter what. I also get *very* irritated with the easy cliches. I want to be *heard*, dammit, and that doesn't seem so unreasonable to me.

I appreciate you bringing this up, as it is an important issue, and one that so many of us are struggling with. Until we, as a people, really look closer at how we deal with these kinds of issues, we just aren't going to be able to solve any of the other problems.

I appreciate your honesty and integrity. I sure wish I had some helpful suggestions for you, but I'm struggling with much the same thing. I just don't belong in this society. It's a very painful and despairing realization to come to.

Kanary

[hlthe2b]

27. People here are responding..

because they sense your despair and they care. No, this is not a professional forum and thus, you may not get the kind of advice you need/seek. You should be aware of that and also that the DU mods will step in, if they sense that you are seeking help that none of us are prepared to give.

Some of what you view as cliche may appear that way because you've heard this advice before. Quite possibly the reason you may have heard it before, might be because it does work.

When you are ready, you'll "act." Right now, you seem only able to "react." I think you find that when you get become a force in changing things for yourself, that you will feel better. Become active in that process SOONER than later. It will make a difference.

On edit, every one of us has been there, I am absolutley willing to bet. Some of us did not take our own advice, either (but probably wish sorely that we had). Learn from our mistakes, if you can.

[Booberdawg]

29. I don't think anyone would agree that sharing the pain and despair

is a mistake. The suicide poll was a bit over the top, but an obvious ask for help.

Nor does your sharing your own pain necessarily drag others into a hole.

Perhaps you could consider some professional counseling? While there are so many of us willing to listen and that do care, we simply are not equipped to respond to you in what might be the most appropriate way. As you say, cliche answers have infuriated you. People here are doing the best they know how and just don't know any better.

I wish I knew what to say. I think this is a process you are going to have to deal with more intensely on your own with someone trained to guide you through it.

You really do have my best wishes at heart.

Linda

[Kanary]

32. Booberdawg, would you permit me to respond to your post?

I hear your concern and care for the poster. I can very much appreciate that it may seem confusing in how to resond. It may, indeed, be helpful, at times, to have some sort of counseling.

However, one of my pet peeves in this area is how we, as people, have come to the point of wanting to turn everything over to "professionals". There is a real problem with that.... we lose the sense of community and necessary support that we so badly need as a people.

I can hear that you want very much to be helpful, but don't know quite what to say. I think that part of the poster's gift to us may be in being able to tell us what is helpful, and how to best respond. I think that is something that we have lost, and it's to our detriment.

A friend of mine was so upset with the unhelpful responses she had when her husband died, and the "help" from professionals, who certainly should have known better, was so dismal that it prompted her to volunteer with hospice so that other people would have someone to talk with who understood their feelings. It's something that we can all do. All of us are capable of learning how to listen, and how to respond. In my estimation, this would be something that would be very strengthening, not only to individual people, families and neighborhoods, but also to the dems if enough people decided to look into it further. It has to do with our very humanity, which is what is being destroyed by the right wing.

Kanary

[Booberdawg]

38. Yes Kanary, I do agree with what you are saying

about us as a community and making ourselves available for support and sometimes just plain listening.

And to be honest, my response WAS tailored to my perception that the DU mods could intervene at any point, thus it might be my last post in the thread. It wasn't so much my intention to turn this person away.

In fact, where is he? It's been quite a while since we've heard from him??

Nevermind. I see he has again responded in this thread.

Thank you for your comments. I agree with you. :hi:

[Kanary]

41. Thanks for clarifying

That wasn't how I read your post.

As you can tell, this is a very important subject to me. Actually, I'd like to hear more from you about your thoughts.

Yes, he's still here on the thread (much to my chagrin, I was making the erroneous assumption of a "she"... sigh... that's what I get for being fairly new and making assumptions...) I am hoping that he will be willing to say more about what is helpful for him. That is such a risk, because of the other assumptions that people make. I think we can learn from what he says about that.

Thanks for your reply.

:hi:

Kanary, who appreciates that you showed me how to make the waving emoticon!!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

24. no

no no no no

[Nikia]

25. Go out and love people

Perhaps, this isn't the type of love you are talking about. Go find people that may be unpopular or down on their luck and go be their friend or help them in some way. You will have established a connection and hopefully feel good.
You have to love yourself too and I've finally figured out to be consistent about this in myself. Be your own best friend. With that philosophy, it is a lot easier since we're usually harder on ourselves than someone else who we care deeply for.
As far as romantic love, doing these things will help make you feel more comfortable with other people. Find a way be around people and when you least expect it, you'll find a potential romantic partner. When you meet that person, treat them well and it hopefully will work out.

[Kanary]

28. With all due respect,

telling someone who is honest enough to say she's at the end of her rope to go out and love other people is very likely to make her feel that much more hopeless. How do you keep giving when your tank is empty? You can only make so many withdrawals from a bank account before you have reached a zero balance.

Sometimes we need to be on the receiving end. Sometimes our account needs deposits. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we NEED. That's honest and human.

Knary

[Booberdawg]

33. Very well articulated

[camero]

30. It's worth living

But it's much harder without it.

[hippiechick]

31. You forgot the "Love ? What's That ?" option on your poll ....

Sometimes I feel like all that's left of my heart is a big lump of scar tissue -- it's been stomped and ripped so thoroughly over the years.
People tell me that I have to learn to 'love myself' and then others will love me too, or to 'give love in order to get love'; but when you've been on the giving end of too many relationships & have nothing but handfuls of air to turn to when you need comfort and reassurance, your faith in the fairy tale begins to wear thin.

I can't offer you rosy, optimistic words of wisdom my friend, just know that you're not alone.

Peace,
Hippie

[Kanary]

34. Sooo very well said, Hippie!

I think one of the biggest hindrances to women in terms of being able to be healthy people is to keep telling them to give, when they are already hurting and down and in need! You don't keep running your car when the tank is empty.

You have said it all, and so poetically. I hope others can hear.

Thanks for your words!!

Kanary

[Feanorcurufinwe]

35. Both of you know just where I am coming from

and it is some measure of comfort. Thank you.

BTW, you don't have to be a woman to feel like this -- I'm not.

[johnnie]

36. Don't you...

...have at least a little love in your life? Or is this about one person?

[indigo32]

37. Feanorcurufinwe

I just want to say... I hear you... and I hope things get better.

[Booberdawg]

39. Feanorcurufinwe, was there a specific incident that triggered these

feelings today?

[Feanorcurufinwe]

40. No

nothing different about my feelings today, I don't know why I chose to post them. Normally I would try to find something to distract me from them.

[Booberdawg]

42. So what do you think triggered this?

[Feanorcurufinwe]

45. With all due respect

didn't I just answer that question?

[Booberdawg]

50. I didn't think you did so that's why I asked.

When I asked you if there was a specific incident that triggered this you said there was nothing different about today.

So you're right, you did answer it, but I can't help but think something had to push this to your breaking point today.

Maybe it isn't important.

[hlthe2b]

43. I'm glad you did take the time air them..

In letting these feelings "breathe," I hope it helps you. Sometimes just expressing them in writing or verbally can help you sort through them.

[Booberdawg]

44. And by the way, I'm glad you quit "stuffing" your feelings

by finding some way to distract yourself from them and allowed your feelings to come out today instead. :thumbsup:

[Feanorcurufinwe]

46. It's not completely unknown

for me to let my feelings out

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=466156

[Booberdawg]

48. I took French in college

but there is too much in that thread that I can't translate.

Is it something about your son being gone?

[Feanorcurufinwe]

49. There's

a translation in the thread.

[Booberdawg]

51. Okay, I found it

she disappeared more than two years ago.

[Tinoire]

47. Hey! Check your in-box!

Peace...

:hi:

[LWolf]

52. Define love.

A general "some people in the world love me and I love them," or a love "relationship?"

Yes it's worth living. It's harder, but there are so many things to love about life itself.

My dog and my cats love me. Does that count?

[salmonhorse]

54. Exactly correct...

I think that life cannot be lived without: 'the human touch'. If within the likes of sincerity, compassion, intimacy, tenderness there is to be found what passes for "love" then so be it. One may otherwise live without such 'things'...but you ain't gonna like it for too so very long.

My sister says that her cats are the only ones who love her. Knowing my sister as I do, and where it is she will not drop her maucho bullshit; she may soon find herself within her own self-full-filling prophecy, poor dear. I think as a general rule, however, that dogs & cats do count in that they can be mirrors into similar realms ~

http://www.dharmathecat.com

[LWolf]

58. Interesting.

"The human touch."
The need to be connected to others.
I think it is part of all of us. And we can find or make our connections in a variety of ways.

My animals aren't the only ones who love me; they just love more honestly.

How much of "love" is unconditional? How much is predicated on the role someone plays, and how they fill our needs in that role?

[PittPoliSci]

53. LIFE IS WORTH LIVING WITHOUT LOVE

though i'm in love, and if i get dumped, i'll probably feel differently, however...

I believe spite can sometimes be the greatest motivator of all.

[RebelOne]

55. Sorry; I have to say yes.

But I have the love of my animals. And that's all that counts.

[Piperay]

56. Yes it is

but you don't even give that as an option. :argh: If you think life isn't worth living without love, you are dooming yourself to unhappiness and you will get what you put out.

[elperromagico]

57. I think somebody's freeping this poll

Red No is winning... Damn you Freepers!!!

[MissMillie]

59. No, but....

such love need not be romantic love. Love of family and friends can most certainly be enough.

[Cheswick2.0]

60. there are no unloved people on this earth

you may be talking about romantic love and that is hard to live witout, however it is possible and it is worth living.
But even those who live without that love are still loved.