My teenage daughter wants us to buy her a $535 dress!

[cynatnite]

She comes in the house and goes on and on about this dress she found at a shop. She has a formal ball coming up next month and went out dress hunting today.

She gushed about how great this dress was and told us the sales lady offered a discount. :eyes: As if that would help make it any more affordable.

I told her the only way we'd spend that kind of money on a dress was if she was getting married.

[XemaSab]

1. That's WAY too much

WHat does it look like?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

2. I went to a formal in December

and my dress was $75 dollars from Dillards . $535 dollars for a dress that she will only be wearing once is a waste of money ... you can something that looks more formal for a lot less if you just search for it . She won't understand I know but make her understand lol .

[JVS]

8. Even $75 for a single wear dress would be wastefull

She should buy something she can get a lot of use out of

[cynatnite]

12. She has two formal dresses already...

one she wore to the last formal and the other she wore to last year's ball. I don't mind getting another formal, but there's no way we're spending that kind of money.

[SeattleGirl]

3. So did she treat you to one of those teenager death ray looks?

No freakin' way would I spend that much on a dress, unless, as you said, it was a wedding dress.

[trof]

4. AKA the "stink eye".

Oh yeah.
:eyes:

[SeattleGirl]

6. They're so good at that!

:rofl:

[JVS]

5. that's heinously expensive

[BikeWriter]

7. Uh, that's more like a house payment.

[cynatnite]

9. It's $15 short of our house payment n/t

[distantearlywarning]

29. It's twice our car payment.

On Edit:

And I didn't spend that much on my wedding dress (which was a very formal embroidered Demetrios dress with a chapel train).

You should tell her that you'll buy her the dress if she spends a weekend working at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, and then can present a good argument to you about why she deserves that $600 dress more than one of those people deserves 2 months worth of the best groceries they can buy.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

10. Take her to JC Penney's and tell her it's either one of these or nothing..

She'll find something else. I didn't even spend that much on a wedding dress because we couldn't afford it.
Duckie

[JVS]

11. You could make her do 100 hrs of chores for it

[Ravenseye]

24. agreed

If my daughter were to come to me asking for a 535 dollar dress, my response would be that if she wants it she has to earn it. Not through chores necessarily though. I'd either make her do actual work for me, outside normal chores. 50 hours of actual work, not raking leaves, but either getting a part-time job, or helping me with my business somehow.

Also i wouldn't buy it for her, and then let her pay me back. My kids are being taught that credit cards are the devil and if you can't afford to buy something then wait (with the exceptions of Houses and Cars)

[JVS]

28. 50 hours is not nearly enough that's $10 an hour.

You've got to pay near minimum wage so that she can realize how offensively expensive and extravagant such a dress is!

[Ravenseye]

35. Yeah fair enough

But depends on the work, and I just have a problem with the minimum wage. ;)

Still 5 bucks an hour for 100 hours work in order to get the dress...Say 5 weekends both days working 10 hours, 8am to 6pm, and I'll be generous and give out a paid lunch hour...

Maybe something monotonous...Like printing out thousands of flyers and stapling them together for days on end...Hell I'll throw in another hundred bucks for supplies to have her sit in a dank basement and staple together sheets of paper for 100 hours just to teach her the value of the dress.

Blank pages. That we then have her shred.

Mua ha ha ha.

[eyesroll]

13. Has she ever gone vintage shopping?

I got a sparkly silver disco dress for $40. And a light-blue beaded 60s cocktail dress for $30.


I intend to go vintage, should I ever get married again and need a dress. (My first wedding dress was $300 in 1998, and I still thought that was ridiculous.)

[mcar]

46. My thought too

Vintage shopping or thrift or consignment stores. You can get some great formalwear at those places.

[cynatnite]

14. The stove we bought today was cheaper than this dress n/t

[swag]

15. You brought her into this world. You buy her that dress!

[JVS]

19. LOL

[BikeWriter]

42. My Sister's Daughter on why her Mom should buy her a car:

"It's my God given right to have a car!"

[Alleycat]

16. Did she say

but Mom everyone else is spending a gazillion dollars on their dress and if I don't I will be soo not cool!!! I have a 14 year old who has used that lines in different variations for the past two years! That a huge amount of money for a dress. Good Luck!

[ghostsofgiants]

17. What exactly makes a dress THAT fucking expensive, anyway?

[JVS]

18. It's made of gold!

[SoCalDem]

25. And the designer?? Rumplestiltskin

:)

[JVS]

30. Ach wie gut, dass niemand weis, dass ich Rumpelstilzchen heiss

[trof]

20. Unless your name is Warren Buffet, Bill Gate, or George Soros

No.

When she gets married, be prepared to spend that and then some.

[elehhhhna]

21. nect up "The 300 dollar shoe fiasco"

You can't wear a dress like that with Payless espadrilles ya know.

[Left Is Write]

22. I admit I spent more on my daughter's prom dress last year...

than I really wanted to.

She and her friend went shopping together and she found the dress at a specialty shop (rather than a chain store or department store). She too went on and on about how beautiful the dress was and how perfect it was for her.

It was $330.

I went to the store to check it out, and it really was perfect for her. She went to two proms in it - her boyfriend's and her own. They were seniors, it was a special occasion...and I gave in. She did buy her own shoes, jewelry and accessories. I'll also admit I probably wouldn't have spent that much if she weren't a senior. She did not go to any proms in previous years.

Does your daughter work or babysit? Would you be willing to pay a portion of the dress if she pays for the rest?

[distantearlywarning]

31. I might spend $300 on a prom dress for a senior.

Especially if she were going to wear it twice, or if she worked for part of the price. Prom is a special event in a young lady's life.

But for a generic school dance? No way!

[Left Is Write]

39. Yes...

the fact that she was a senior and had never been to a prom before AND the kids were going to both schools' proms helped sell me on it. The whole experience was really special for her.

On the other hand, the dress she wore to the Homecoming dance the previous fall was only $45.

[miss_american_pie]

47. She rocked that dress

I would have had a hard time saying no to her. :hi:

[LaurenG]

23. If it were my daughter I would not buy it

Maybe she could sew one similar to it. :shrug:

[snacker]

26. We've raised 3 daughters and never spent that much

on a dress. For prom dresses, I would definitely suggest staying away from those specialty shops. I guess that is one of the reasons I always went dress shopping with my daughters. Generally, I've found that chains like Penney's, Maurice's, and Deb offer a wide selection at "reasonable" prices....take it from someone with a closet full of prom dresses that will never be worn again.

[MissB]

27. A sewing machine would be cheaper.

Plus, she may learn a more useful skill.

Cheaper yet, find a cool thrift store.

[SoCalDem]

32. Wow.. proms are out of control

Mine were in the "olden days" ..when the juniors decorated for the seniors and the spohomores decorated for the juniors.. we used the gym, and had a local band..punch & cookies..The guys rented tuxes and the girls wore nice, but not ostentatious dresses..

We had oour party clothes stashed in the cars for the REAL party..after the prom..Usually out in the woods somewhere..

[LeftyMom]

33. Tomorrow go to the mall without her

and bring home a stack of job applications. :)

[SoCalDem]

34. Look online.. do you have a picture or a designer name

:)

[philosophie_en_rose]

36. Would she spend that much, if it were her own money?

I'm the queen of cheapness, but I also find it fun to look for beautiful things on sale.

She has time to earn money. I wonder if - having earned the money - she'd waste it all on one dress. If she would, at least she learned how much effort it took to buy it. If she spends less, then she might have learned a better lesson. :)

[Missy Vixen]

37. This dress is more expensive than my wedding gown was

:blush: Then again, I lucked out, too. Bridal gown prices have gone into the stratosphere in the past 10+ years.

I vote for "vintage" or try bridesmaid's dresses. It's possible to get a really nice dress for hundreds less if you hit on a good sample sale. If worst comes to worst, it's time for the young lady to learn to sew. If you really want to try something different, go to http://www.makingmemories.org. Making Memories collects bridal and formalwear, cleans it, resells it, and uses the money to grant wishes to women dying of cancer. If there's a bridal gown show coming to your town or a neighboring one, it might be worth taking a look. One of my friends donated her Vera Wang bridal and attendant gowns to this organization...

Julie

[bunny planet]

38. welcome to my world. Learn to raise one eyebrow ironically while staring

her down until she looks away.
They ask but I think they fully expect to be turned down, they are just pushing the wardrobe envelope to see what our reaction will be. I once bought my sixteen year old a $200. dress, but after it went on sale and she had to pay for half.

[AlCzervik]

40. i don't know what she's looking for exactly but you may want

to look at this site, it's ABS, they replicate red carpet gresses and gowns and many are under $300. Good luck.
http://www.absstyle.com/nshop/product.php?view=listing&groupName=dresses&dept=0

[Skittles]

41. I would have never dreamed of even asking such a thing of my parents

absolutely not

[LSK]

43. does she have a job?

Might be a good lesson about money to make her work for it.

[AirmensMom]

44. That's what I was wondering.

:hi:

[cynatnite]

45. Yes, she does...

She barely works ten hours a week. She's only 15 which is why she can't work very much. She turns 16 this summer and will make more money.

The last dress she paid for herself. The one before that, we bought.

I did tell her tonight we're going to do a lot more looking around and hunt for something much cheaper. She's going to help pay for this one and she was okay with that, but don't expect anything over $150. It'll more than likely stay in the $100 range.

[AirmensMom]

48. Wait ... she's only 15 and she's going to a formal ball?

In a $100+ dress? Scary. :scared: You're going to have fun with her in a few years.

Oh yeah, the dress she WANTS is a lot more. :banghead:

Good luck!

[cynatnite]

50. She's in the Jr. Navy ROTC and it's a military ball...

It's not your typical formal. They have an awards ceremony, dinner and dancing. It's a huge shindig.

[Roon]

49. For 535.00!!

Everyone on the family should be able to wear it. Roseanne