L. Ron Hubbard: "It was my responsibility that this world got an A-Bomb"

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

Alt.Religion.Scientology Week in Review 03/18/06

http://ars-week-in-review.blogspot.com/

All though Hubbard was booted from George Washington University for failing grades after only four semesters, it did not stop him from repeatedly lying that he was a nuclear physicist. He was proud of the fact that he was supposedly a student in the alledgedly first class in nuclear physics in an American University, although he flunked all science and math courses he ever took. Here is a collection of Hubbard's claims to have been a nuclear physicist. This listing is almost certainly not exhaustive.

"To some degree, it was my responsibility that this world got itself an atom bomb, because there were only a handful of nuclear physicists in the thirties - only a handful. And we were all beating the desk and saying "How wonderful it will be if we discover atomic fission," because we decided that the thing to do with atomic fission was to go out and discover the stars, to make big passenger liners that would go ten times around the world on the same fuel. This was what we endeavoured to do with atomic fission. The government stepped in and gave us three billion dollars. I had nothing to do with that program; I would *not* have had anything to do with the program. Three billion dollars to destroy all of man."

OEC ("Organization Executive Course") volume 6, April 14, 1961
Hubbard claims to be a nuclear physicist.

[elshiva]

1. OOOOh! Deary Dear!

:popcorn:

[Deja Q]

2. Yeah, but Einstein did more of the actual brainwork...

Why am I saying "more of", Hubbard has fewer brain cells than a shotglass of water!

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. Hey! Dude made up a religion that made him rich! How many religions have

YOU made up, eh?

Thought so! :P

[eyepaddle]

17. Toadism..you've never heard of it?

How is it possible that you've never heard of Toadism? :scratches head in befuddlement:

We'll send you some brochures...:evilgrin:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

21. Eh, some have called me a toady going way back.

What is the central text of Toadism? The Toad Te Ching?

[Deja Q]

32. I've made one, yes I have!

Peepology.

:D

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. And they wonder why they're a joke!

[xmas74]

5. Hubbard is a third-rate hack!

There-I got it out of my system. I want to scream this every time I see any mention of his name or Scientology.

[ChoralScholar]

23. What was strange is the way they used to market his book...

As a science buff I was always interested in the books because the commercials said

"Dianetics... by L.Ron Hubbard... the owners manual, for the human mind."

I was, like, 15 or something, so I didn't know any better yet.

[xmas74]

24. I remember those crappy Dianetics commercials

quite well. I even purchased a copy at a used bookstore.

The book really sucked.

[Fenris]

6. That picture, by the way, is of Hubbard using an e-meter on tomatoes

He believed that plants could feel pain. :crazy:

[no name no slogan]

9. Wanna bet those tomaters made OT III?

I wonder how they reacted to the Xenu story?

[Fenris]

12. I know for a fact they're OT VIII!

They've reached enlightenment! They can manipulate their environment and the universe! Space and time bend to their will!

Flamingyouth pointed out that as an OT, Tom Cruise has the ability to manipulate universal laws, and yet has neglected to make himself taller.

[no name no slogan]

13. ...

:rofl:

good point! You'd think Tom would stretch space/time and make himself 6" taller.

I remember seeing plans somewhere on how to make your own e-meter. It's basically a primitive lie detector that can be assembled for <$50 in parts from your local Radio Shack. And the "church" sells them for many thousands of $$$.

I need to start my OWN religion. I'm sick of being broke.

[Fenris]

14. Yeah, they go for about $2,500

You should see the inside of their manufactory - it looks like the inside of a generic business office.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

20. You left out the best part...

...people are strongly encouraged to buy a "backup" so that if the "primary" fails they won't have to miss an auditing session.

It's true...you can't make this kind of stuff up, folks.

So the price is actually $5,000 when you think about it.

[AngryAmish]

35. Or give himself the ability to come out of the closet

[bumblebee1]

30. The only problem is

tomatoes did not jump up and down on Oprah's couch. Tom Cruise did.

[ET Awful]

7. He claimed to be a decorated Navy vet too . . . he was in the Navy alright

but was reprimanded for attacking Mexico.

Yes, that's true :)

[eyepaddle]

19. Ooohh, that's a great story

I haven't looked at that website in awhile, Hubbard also claimed to be a war hero for depth charging some rocks off the Pacific Northwest.

I'll look around for the link.

Technically he WAS decorated, stuff like American Theater of Operations, etc. Nothing like the Navy Cross (I believe it was) that he claims.

Found it!

http://www.xs4all.nl/~kspaink/cos/warhero/medals.htm

[no name no slogan]

38. Yeah, but they were JAPANESE SPY ROCKS

you forgot that part :P

[graywarrior]

8. His ego shows such humility, does it not?

[Redstone]

10. Little too full of himself, there? Aliens in the volcanoes!

Look out for those aliens in the volcanoes!

Redstone

[MissB]

11. Now we know why Tom Cruise was bouncing on Oprah's couch.

He's as bat-shit crazy as ol' Hubbard.

[begin_within]

15. Isn't he dead now? Wait... ...ok, Wikipedia says he died January 24, 1986.

[Benfea]

16. His books weren't very good either.

Way back when, a friend of mine (no, he wasn't a scientologist) made me read Battlefield Earth. I have a fairly high tolerance for bad sci-fi just because I'm such a fan of the genre, but Battlefield Earth exceeded even my tolerance.

[jpgray]

25. DU's own BigMcLargehuge has a great review of the film somewhere

Maybe he'll see this and dredge up the link for ya.

[Benfea]

27. The less I know about that film, the better.

I read the book, that was enough. There is absolutely no way a movie based on that book could be anything other than the aesthetic equivalent of raw sewage.

[jpgray]

28. I have a perverse love for horribly bad movies

MST3K has pounded it into me, I think.

[Benfea]

29. I know people who are similarly afflicted.

Although the show sounded mighty interesting, I'm glad I never watched much of it. ;)

[mikeytherat]

31. Best Battlefield Earth review EVER!

(from Mr. Cranky)

Battlefield Earth is one of the worst films ever made. It’s that simple. It’s Plan 9 From Outer Space made for sixty million dollars. Had Ed Wood made Battlefield Earth, people would have expected an apology. When the cultural impact of this fiasco finally sinks in, John Travolta will be lucky if he can get a job plucking the gray hairs out of Ron Palillo’s ass.

Battlefield Earth is based on a novel written by Church of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. Perhaps the Church of Scientology wanted to ensure nobody else joined up. This movie is like watching the Pope accidentally catch on fire while giving Easter Mass. If that’s not a time to rethink your spiritual choices, what is?

Discussing the details of the plot is akin to discussing the literary merits of a Nora Roberts novel. I just can’t emphasize enough how bad it all is. It’s such a disaster it may resurrect Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs’s career. He’ll be able to defend himself by saying, “At least I didn’t make Battlefield Earth,” and executives will have to acknowledge that he has a point. Anyway, it’s the year 3000, a thousand years after a race of creatures called the Psychlos has taken over the Earth. Their chief of security is Terl (John Travolta), who wants to use the humans as slaves for his personal gain. Unfortunately, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) has other plans and leads a revolt.

Psychlos are essentially Jamaican Klingons who speak like Ferengi. The primary special effect in the movie is accomplished by filling buckets with dirt and pieces of concrete, then tossing them across the screen. Director Roger Christian has a hard-on for flying dirt like you would not believe. The guys who wrote this should be forced to dictate everything for the rest of their lives so they may never again touch pen to paper or finger to keyboard and declare themselves writers. If Christian can get a job as a Sears portrait photographer after this movie, Congress should make the use of cameras punishable by death. Every single scene is at an angle, which gave me the urge to slide off my chair and smash my skull into the floor. Action scenes look like they were shot inside a paint mixer. If egos were farts, one imagines John Travolta could destroy an entire planet by devouring a single frozen burrito. That this film even got made is clearly one testament to that fact, and that they’re already planning a sequel is another.

mikey_the_rat

[Mz Pip]

18. And we are continually

amazed that anyone could still support GW Bush.

There's a sucker born every minute and they somehow manage to find their way to folks like Hubbard or if they have never read a Sci-fi novel, GW Bush.

Doesn't matter if they lie or just make things up. Ir somehow they can convince people of their sincerity that's all that matters.

Hubbard is responsible for the A bomb. Never mind the facts.

Bush is responsible for bringing Democracy to the mid east. Never mind the facts.

A sucker is born every minute. And we sure have our share of suckers these days.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Yavin4]

22. All Hail Xenu!!

Hail Xenu!!!

[Random_Australian]

26. Hail Xenu? .... indeed. How come no-one says

"All faintly like Xenu" or "All believe, that yes, Xenu may have done some wrong but he wants in his heart ot make it up to you"

OR

Grand Master General Of The Evil Armies Of The Death Lord was giving Xenu his daily Thetan extermination report, and he concluded with "Yesterday, 3 Qur-nang mggfeldibob soldiers were killed"

"Oh no!" Says Xenu "That's terrible!"

His Great Death-Harbinger Command Squad sits nervously, stunned at this display of emotion.

Finally Xenu looks up and says...

"How many is a Qur-nang mggfeldibob?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Spider Jerusalem]

33. Hubbard was nothing more than a world-class confidence man...

He took a few courses in school, and claimed to be a nuclear physicist; he was in the Navy, spent the entire war in the continental US, was reprimanded and stripped of his command after shelling the Mexican coast, and claimed to be a war hero; spent time in the occult scene in Los Angeles in the late '40's, and claimed that Aleister Crowley was a "good friend" of his (despite the fact that he never met Crowley, and, indeed, Crowley was able to discern, just by reading the letters of his disciple Jack Parsons, who Hubbard had suckered into trusting him, that Hubbard was a crook)...even if the beliefs and practices of Scientologists weren't seriously insane, the reverence in which they hold Hubbard, despite the mountains of evidence regarding his true character, is reason enough to discredit them.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

34. Delusions of grandeur

Is a sign of mental illness (untreated no less). Nothing wrong with someone who has a mental illness, but I'm not going to base my spiritual beliefs on someone with one. Just sayin'. :shrug:

[Strawman]

36. L. Ron Hoover is way cooler

50 bucks please

[mikeytherat]

37. Ah, the First Church of Appliantology

Check out the ones from Germany - a lot of the good ones come from there.

mikey_the_rat
PS
Here's your 50 bucks, Mary