Good parental monitoring software?

[UCLA02]

My teenage sister (14yo) and parents are getting Internet in their home for the first time and are naive of the dangers, and the recent Dateline series have scared the shit out of my wife and I in this regard.

Can anybody vouch for some good parental monitoring software (for PC) that I can recommend to my parents to pay attention to what she does and where she goes? They have never had any need or interest in getting a computer, let alone Internet, but now that she's in high school, she has legitimate reasons to need a computer at home (research, writing papers, etc.) She has been relatively sheltered and doesn't know the number of sick fucks out there waiting for her to logon.

Can anybody help?

Thanks in advance.

[LeftyMom]

1. Some of the best advice I've heard was to put the computer in a common

area rather than in the child's room. No clue about software though, except that I've read that many of the software filters have a rather right wing fundie bias to thier blocking.

[UCLA02]

3. I've heard that and trying to steer my Mom that direction...

...without meddling too much, since as of now it's being set up in my sister's room.

But as for the software, I'm more looking at something my parents can get on at the end of the day and see where my sister's been, not something that necessarily blocks sites.

Thanks for the reply. I need to find a way to work on Mom re the location of the computer without imposing.

[Shine]

2. We're using Norton internet security for our 12 yr old son.

it filters out all the yucky stuff quite nicely.

:hi:

[UCLA02]

4. Does it allow you to go back and check where he's been?

I know that you can do that thru "history" and to some extent cookies, but kids can quickly catch on and delete those as often as they think about it. I want to find something that allows the parents of a 12 or 14 year old to "snoop" --for lack of a better word, yet not to imply that I'm inviting a discussion of the ethics or degree of a 12-14 year old's expectation of privacy ;-)

[Shine]

8. my hubby tells me we have that ability, yes.

but I haven't made use of it myself. My kid basically uses it for his games, I-tunes and checking out magic tricks. :D

oh and the occasional homework assignment.

[CornField]

5. First, all of them can be hacked

For the 14-year-olds who don't already know how, they are only an internet search away from finding out.

I think one of the best is SafeEyes. It mostly blocks questionable content (although it sometimes blocks legitimate content as well), filtering internet searches (blocking only the offensive returns and not all returns), and monitors both time on the computer and time online. It filters almost all interactivity including IM, email, chat, newsgroups and the web. It allows for different protection levels (in case you have two different age groups). For about $40, it can be installed on up to three systems. The system admin has the option of storing reports online as well as on the actual system.

A couple others that are good: CyberPatrol & ContentProtect

To be honest, I think the best protection happens when parents place the computer in a popular room with the monitor facing the middle of the room. That the child knows nothing can be done "in private".

We sat down with our daughter and showed her how search engines work, how they can bring up questionable content and how to avoid problems. In addition, we have very strict ground rules (in writing, hanging on the wall beside the family computer).

For the most part, being on the Internet is just like visiting a huge city. There are great places for educational and entertainment opportunities, but there are also dangerous places and spots not suited for children. We need to teach our children how to recognize the good from the bad. By doing that, we are actually teaching them (in lieu of filtering them).

[UCLA02]

6. Thanks so much for the thoughtful reply.

I am maybe interested in telling my parents (who know less of computers and the 'net than she does, which is stiil next to nothing) to split the difference of the three, meaning that they place the computer in a common area, try to talk to her about the dangers, AND filter/monitor what she does.

Thanks for the software suggestions. I'll look into them tonight.

[SofaKingLiberal]

7. As other posts have suggested, keep the computer in a common area.

Also

'She has been relatively sheltered and doesn't know the number of sick fucks out there waiting for her to logon.'

Then someone has to have a serious conversation with her and let her know about the sick fucks.

Seriously, do it yourself if you have to.

[UCLA02]

9. My mother has suggested that as well

Not that she's necessarily delegating "her" job to me, but my mother has no idea, either.


Speaking of keeping her away from websites that provide harbor for pedophiles... www.gop.org is the FIRST to end up on the "blocked sites" list! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

[SofaKingLiberal]

12. Those really are the two best ways to protect her.

Software, while it does have its uses, is no panacea for protecting a child from the dangers of online predators.

I suppose, you could look into a keylogging program if you really wanted to. That way you can monitor everything she does. Keep track of every key she types.

But, as we all know. Kids are rebellious, 'invincible', and can be extremely clever when it comes to sneaking around.

So it looks like the conversation will be up to you.

I don't know how open you are with your sister when it comes to talking about these kind of things, but it is the best way to keep her safe. Let her know she can talk to you about anything.

She needs to know about the kind of people that may try to lure her. No matter how charming, charismatic or harmless someone appears to be, they may very well be a manipluative sociopath who just wants to rape and kill her. Online everyone is a potential predator.

[TrogL]

10. I thought you wanted to monitor the parents

[UCLA02]

11. ;-) Not my job anymore...

I'm 33, little sis is 14. I've got a new job now.

[seaglass]

13. We've run into the most problems with IMing. We impressed

upon my daughter that she should not identify herself on the internet or IM or join chat rooms with strangers. But IM names do get passed around in HS and my daughter has gotten suggestive IMs from older HS boys (when she was your sister's age and younger). Of course this happened IRL too so it's a matter of monitoring what your kid is up to both inside and outside the home.

I don't know if there is software for monitoring IMs. I know that some IMs get saved on the hard drive because my daughter has been able to retrieve some for me.

[mzteris]

14. check t his thread

This guy seems to know what he's talking about and very willing to help.......

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=242&topic_id=7169

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. I know this makes me a bad mother but...

I don't really allow internet access to my 7 and 16 year old. If my daughter needs to use the internet, it's on this laptop, whereever I am. My son and I play online learning games...together. I know she gets a bit of a "fix" at a friend's house, but this friend's parents are also right there when the girls are on.

Call me old fashioned, but I don't believe that the internets is a place for unchaperoned kids. :hi:

[progmom]

16. right on Mrs Grumpy

I totally agree. :thumbsup:

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. I thought I'd be flamed for that. Thanks progmom.

It's a scary place for adults as it is, and I think the best monitoring system is a parent. :hi:

[progmom]

18. there will be no TVs and no computers in progspawn's room

....for exactly that reason.

And you sound like an excellent parent....and if your daughter doesn't appreciate you now, at 16, I can promise she will appreciate you once she has kids of her own. :) :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

19. They can disable the network card for starters...

But if the kid is smart enough to reenable it (and they usually are)... they can limit their wireless network to only allow specific MAC addresses (or disallow specific ones). If the router is accessible for them to plug an ethernet cable into, I would make it inaccessible. Put it in a room that can be locked.

When we get a computer for ours... which seems inevitable, I plan to disable/remove any network cards, as well as add the MAC address to the wireless router to prevent it from logging in just in case. We currently have it set so that only our computers can log into the router through their MAC addresses. I'll make sure we have passwords on all the computers, and he will only be able to access the internet at home with direct supervision with one of us, and definitely NO chat rooms.

There's NO way to prevent a kid from accessing dangerous sites on the internet... no matter WHAT software you use. They will always be one step ahead of you technically, and if they are not technically adept themselves, it will be impossible. Direct supervision is the only way. If the child wants to do research on the internet... they should do it with her and download the information she needs. Then put it on a thumbdrive and give it to her to put on her internet-disabled computer.

[UCLA02]

20. Thank you, all, for the replies.

We're seeing my parents and will have to go over all of this with them.

Thanks for all the advice so far!