pstokely
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Thu Apr-06-06 02:32 PM
Original message |
Are You A Hick? TAKE THE RED STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION (humor) |
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Edited on Thu Apr-06-06 02:40 PM by pstokely
First Name: (check appropriate box)
(_) Billie Bob (_) Jim (_) Hank (_) Leroy (_) Willy (_) Buford
Last Name:
(_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae
Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
(_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Asbestos Worker (_) Belt Buckle Manufacturer (_) Un-employed
Spouse's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer (_)The Globe (_)TV Guide (_)Soap Opera Digest
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe: (_)Weekly (_)Monthly (_)Not Applicable Color of teeth: (_)Yellow (_)Brownish-Yellow (_)Brown (_)Black (_)N/A Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_) Red-Man How far is your home from a paved road? (_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don't know Organizations that you belong to: (Check all that are applicable) (_) NRA (_) KKK (_) NHRA Number of tractor pulls you've been to this month : (_) <5 (_) 5-10 (_) 11-15 (_) Can't count Beverage of choice: (_) Night Train (_) Blind Dog Bourbon (_) Cousin Cletus' Moonshine (Non-Commercial) (_) Schlitz Beer (_) Gasoline Number of Skoal Belt Buckles You Own:____ Brand of Jeans you prefer: (_) Wranglers Do you play the banjo? (_) Yes
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