jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 10:58 PM
Original message |
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Women should be obscene, not heard.
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Floogeldy
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:00 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Salt shakers should be shaken and not stirred. |
jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
3. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, and this wasn't it. |
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Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 11:02 PM by jpgray
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asthmaticeog
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:01 PM
Response to Original message |
2. There are 10 kinds of people: |
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those who understand binary and those who don't.
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jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
4. You have the brain of a meth-addict math major. |
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And I bet he was glad to be rid of it.
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MiniMandaRuth
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:04 PM
Response to Original message |
5. This morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.... |
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How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
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jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
6. That's the spirit! Now for a math problem |
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A girl has three apples, you take away two. Now, what's the large grey animal standing next to her?
That's 'erelephant.
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:05 PM
Response to Original message |
7. His mother should have thrown him away...... |
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And kept the stork.
--Mae West!
:hi:
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jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:07 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
9. You're the most beautiful woman in this thread |
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Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 11:08 PM by jpgray
Which doesn't say much for you (yet) ;-)
(and to further defang my reply, MiniMandaRuth is technically a -girl- :patriot:)
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
meow2u3
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:06 PM
Response to Original message |
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she had to change her name from Methuseleh before the doctor would perform a face lift!
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jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
15. I never forget a face, but in her case I'll be glad to make an exception |
LouisianaLiberal
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Thu Apr-13-06 01:57 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
21. Man, you do know your Groucho quotes! |
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Here's another: A woman's an occasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a smoke.
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JohnKleeb
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:11 PM
Response to Original message |
jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
12. The word "bitch" is evil. |
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Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others. :P
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JohnKleeb
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
13. the bitch wars from two years ago |
jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
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My friends were less than impressed when I said I was a veteran of the bitch wars. :D
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JohnKleeb
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:19 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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I was there when Margaret Cho exploded and where's our parade?. (Reference to one time on the Simpsons Homer pretending to be a Vietnam Vet)
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Guy Fawkes
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Thu Apr-13-06 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
34. I'm Rick James's Bitch |
JohnKleeb
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:20 PM
Response to Original message |
17. Don't shave a donkey because he may get upset |
jpgray
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:41 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. I've got to go to sleep |
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Have a good sleep, Kleeb. Failing that, have someone good to sleep with. :patriot:
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Ouabache
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Wed Apr-12-06 11:48 PM
Response to Original message |
19. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but |
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you can't pick your friend's nose.
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Susang
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Thu Apr-13-06 12:06 AM
Response to Original message |
20. Liquor? I don't even KNOW her! |
meegbear
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Thu Apr-13-06 08:02 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
30. Rectum? Almost killed him! |
jpgray
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Thu Apr-13-06 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
37. Bitter? Bit him, too. |
terrya
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Thu Apr-13-06 05:33 AM
Response to Original message |
22. Take my wife - please |
bridgit
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Thu Apr-13-06 05:36 AM
Response to Original message |
23. He who laughs last thinks slowest... |
TheBaldyMan
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Thu Apr-13-06 06:47 AM
Response to Original message |
24. A hard man is good to find. |
Random_Australian
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Thu Apr-13-06 07:09 AM
Response to Original message |
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an explorer's ship capsized off the coast of the most wild, cannibal savages of all time. (Papua New Guinea? ). The day after, Midshipman found himself drifting on a piece of driftwood, all alone, looking cautiously at the coast as he drifted up to it. No sooner than he had landed, he found himself surrounded by 500 warrior tribesman, armed to the teeth.
The chief steps out in front, and looks him up and down. The man says "O Lord...... I'm done for". This big, booming voice sounds from the clouds "No! Not yet! Grab that man's spear! Stick it into the heart of the chief!" He does. For a few seconds, all the warriors just stare. He says "O Lord, erm, errr... what now?" and the big, booming voice says "Now you are done for!"
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Callalily
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Thu Apr-13-06 07:17 AM
Response to Original message |
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Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.
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MissMillie
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Thu Apr-13-06 07:29 AM
Response to Original message |
27. Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken. |
YankeyMCC
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Thu Apr-13-06 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #27 |
35. I used to have a T-Shirt with that slogan on it |
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it's surprising how much attention it attracted.
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Starbucks Anarchist
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Thu Apr-13-06 07:41 AM
Response to Original message |
28. You're only as old as the woman you feel. |
beyurslf
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Thu Apr-13-06 07:57 AM
Response to Original message |
29. Poker anyone? You poker, you brought her. |
underpants
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Thu Apr-13-06 08:08 AM
Response to Original message |
31. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana |
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I've had a wonderful evening, this wasn't it but I have had a wonderful evening. .
Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.
You will make a good looking fossil.
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Bassic
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Thu Apr-13-06 08:28 AM
Response to Original message |
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus. :rofl:
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ThatsMyBarack
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Thu Apr-13-06 09:26 AM
Response to Original message |
33. Here's one from M*A*S*H: |
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"I would have been a bum doctor, but the proctology class was full!" :spray:
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jpgray
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Thu Apr-13-06 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
39. MASH has some great ones (and delivered in Alda's Groucho voice) |
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Edited on Thu Apr-13-06 12:16 PM by jpgray
I'd like a martini. A dry martini. A very dry, arid, barren, desecrated, veritable dustbowl of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini.
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XNASA
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Thu Apr-13-06 09:48 AM
Response to Original message |
36. A man is as young as the woman he feels. |
jpgray
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Thu Apr-13-06 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
38. One martini I'm drunk, two martinis I'm under the table |
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Three martinis and I'm under someone I don't recognize.
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DU
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Fri May 03rd 2024, 12:28 AM
Response to Original message |