southernleftylady
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Mon May-08-06 07:24 AM
Original message |
Need some ideas.. my best friends hubby keeps hitting on me |
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Ok I need to know what to do.. EVERY STINKING TIME i go over to my best friends house.. or anywhere there is a party and people are drinking my best friends hubby hits on me.. history.. my best friend and her hubby and i all met the same time... and he went for me first.. i told him no.. then he went for her.. and they have been together ever since..
he has ALWAYS had a thing for me.. and every time there is drinking involved he makes a move on me.. now my hubby never comes over to these parties because 1. he doesn't like any of them ;) besides my best friend which he thinks is the best 2. we don't have a babysitter so he stays home with the kids... i always tell her hubby "stop.. what are you doing?" "I love meghan.. do you?" so on and so forth.. i never lead him on... but he keeps trying and trying... i don't want her to get hurt.. and i don't really want to tell her because i don't know if that will ruin our relationship ya know ?? jeez.. if you were me.. what would you do??
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AirmensMom
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Mon May-08-06 07:27 AM
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1. I'd threaten to tell her if he doesn't stop.. |
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Hopefully, he won't call your bluff ... or maybe you really SHOULD tell her. I hope you can find something that works. :hug:
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wildhorses
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Mon May-08-06 07:34 AM
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2. I would quit going to those parties. Stay home and enjoy your |
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husband and family instead. Do something with them. You will be strengthening your relationship and at the same time removing yourself from a potential no-win situation. Do girlfriend things with Meghan and stay away from her husband. Just my 2 pennies, probably easier said than done. Good luck. :hi::hug:
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lizziegrace
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Mon May-08-06 08:18 AM
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3. I have to agree with WH on this one |
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Your relationship with your best friend can be maintained without going to the parties. :)
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elehhhhna
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Mon May-08-06 09:40 AM
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9. Good advice. If however you insist on going to the parties, |
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bring Hubs along after giving him a headsup on the situation. If you are uncomfortable telling Hubs about this, you shoudl just stop going altogether and let your friend know her BF makes you "uncomfortable".
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sugarbabe
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Mon May-08-06 08:18 AM
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Not interested and mean it. No further conversation. Sugarbabe
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Blue Diadem
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Mon May-08-06 08:30 AM
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5. Tell him if he tries it again you'll tell your husband and his wife |
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Then do it. That guy is probably hitting on other women too..I've seen it happen with other men like that.
Your other choices are to either not go around him at all..which is bound to bring up questions from your friend or to keep dealing with the creep's advances.
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jukes
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Mon May-08-06 08:59 AM
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this guy is a snake.
if you tell your g/f what's up, she cd very well blind herself to her husband's indescretion & blame you.
if you don't tell her she may be very angry & distrustful of you when she eventually finds out.
you shd def stay clear of this guy as much as possible. not only is he a shipwreck just awaitin', but he cd be capable of a variation of "date rape" if he's drunk & you're in isolated proximity. at the least, he sounds capable of a forced & very unpleasant "groping" session.
you also have some obligation to tell your husband about this. he cd be hurt if it turns ugly & he feels you've left him out. the g/f's husband has already "violated" you by putting you in a situ where you feel it's necessary to conceal his attempts from your friend & your SO.
this is going to end badly. if he's *SO* insistent & indiscrete w/ you, he has some very real problems that ARE going to surface eventually. i'm afraid your friend's marriage has already failed. problem is, this creep is going to drag others down w/him when he goes.
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miss_american_pie
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Mon May-08-06 09:01 AM
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7. Is it a hitting on you problem |
BikeWriter
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Mon May-08-06 09:03 AM
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8. I found out later my ex told my friend she would tell me... |
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and I'd frick'n kill him. It worked.
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Ron Mexico
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Mon May-08-06 09:52 AM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Mon May-08-06 10:05 AM by Ron Mexico
If your husband was hitting on her, wouldn't you want to know? Further, the quicker she throws this asshole out of her life, the better off she'll be.
Edited, laughable spelling error
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Bridget Burke
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Mon May-08-06 10:11 AM
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11. Talk to him when you are both sober. |
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Tell him that you are NOT interested & will tell your hubby & his wife if he tries it again.
Follow through.
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skygazer
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Mon May-08-06 10:16 AM
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12. I would do a couple of things |
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1. I'd stop going to those parties until things are under control
2. I'd tell your husband, if you haven't already (maybe he could say something to the guy when sober)
3. I'd talk to the jerk myself when he's sober and tell him I was going to tell his wife if he didn't knock it off
and
4. I'd do it if it continued.
I'd also think hard about what you'd want her to do if the situation was reversed. Me, I'd want to know.
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Fleshdancer
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Mon May-08-06 10:17 AM
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I get the impression that guys don't like that. :shrug:
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arwalden
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Mon May-08-06 10:45 AM
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14. Maybe He's Attracted To Women Who Say "Hubby". |
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Edited on Mon May-08-06 10:46 AM by arwalden
:hi:
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bleedingheart
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Mon May-08-06 10:51 AM
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1. eventually he is going to screw up in front of her ...and you will get the blame...no matter what 2. one day...you may succumb due to a combo of alcohol and perhaps you are fighting with hubby and one slip up ..even a dumb kiss will end up rotting your insides... 3. your hubby not coming...is giving him even more dumb ideas...some men/women are really thick..and they view that kind of action as a sign that you may be "opening up to them"... 4. Do you know if you are the only one??? I wonder...perhaps he is a consumate flirt and to be honest...married me like hooking up with other married people because they are less likely to make things messy...
I would stick to having nice girlfriend lunches with your friend...without her hubby around.
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bleedingheart
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Mon May-08-06 10:54 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
16. I wanna add to this... |
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Edited on Mon May-08-06 10:55 AM by bleedingheart
I go to a lot of events related to charity and politics...there is a guy who always hits on me. I am not interested. My husband even picks up on it...and it pisses him off. I now make a point to take my husband with me, or avoid him like the plague if he is there...I have even taken my dear ole mother to such events...only to have him try wheedle her with his charms ...and then later my mom says..."what a snake"...
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LeftyMom
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Mon May-08-06 10:55 AM
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17. Talk to your spouse about it. He needs to know that a "friend" does this |
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then, after you've told him the situation (do that first so the guy can't try to blame you) tell the guy's wife. It may change or even end your friendship, but she deserves to know that her husband has potential fidelity issues before he brings home a disease or something.
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leftofthedial
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Mon May-08-06 11:06 AM
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Haole Girl
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Mon May-08-06 11:10 AM
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19. It sounds like the opening scene of a made for tv movie. |
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Get the hell out of that situation, and quickly, before it turns into something even more atrocious! What a jerk that guy is. And, he probably thinks you are still considering something with him if it's been going on this long and you still hang around him. Sorry if that sounds brutal- but that's how guys think. I know this only from experience.
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Shell Beau
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Mon May-08-06 01:15 PM
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20. Yikes, that is a sticky situation b/c it could potentially |
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ruin your friendship. If you tell her, she may blame you just b/c she doesn't want to believe her husband would do that!! :shrug: Good luck! Avoid him if at all possible!
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Mon May 06th 2024, 03:02 AM
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