Baby Shower etiquette- A ?

[commander bunnypants]

What do I have to do? Do I have to plan one? Do Icall one of her friends to have them plan one? Should it be a suprise? Do I have to attend?

Help a drowning bunnypants here.

:scared: :hide:


CB

[kay1864]

1. Are you talking about your wife?

Then no, you don't plan one, or attend, or ask her friends to throw one (very déclassé). Also tacky for her mother to throw one. Normally one of her friends volunteers to have one.

The most you can do is mention at work that she's pregnant. *If* someone at work wants to throw one, then of course you and she attend, with your "work friends".

[gollygee]

2. Are you the father?

The etiquitte is that a female non-family member should do it, though it is sometimes a family member. It probably shouldn't be a suprise because she will probably want the two of you to set up a registry.

You could call her friends and ask if they are planning to do one if you want but I don't know if the father is usually involved. And it would be a bit tacky to ask really.

Yes it's sexist but that's the official etiquitte anyway.

[commander bunnypants]

5. I hope

yes

CB

[gollygee]

6. Then congrats :D

Someone will probably step up to the plate and set one up for her. It's usually fairly late in the pregnancy.

[Scout1071]

3. One of her friends will probably offer to throw one.

When is she due? Congrats!

[Midlodemocrat]

4. One of her friends will probably do it. You shouldn't do it.

Because technically, you would be throwing a shower for 'yourself'. I am sure one of her friends will come forward a little closer to the baby's birth. That's how it usually happens.

[Left Is Write]

7. If you are married to the mother-to-be, you do not throw a shower.

Let her friends do it.

It does not have to be a surprise. It can be women-only or mixed company. If you are close enough to her friends to talk to one or more of them about it, that's okay too.

[kay1864]

8. But even talking to them is tacky, IMHO

It can look like you're trolling for baby presents. Let one of her friends volunteer. They usually know to throw one--you don't have to hint or ask.

[Left Is Write]

17. Whether it's tacky depends on how close they are.

Of course, I was not suggesting that he ask someone to throw the shower.

[commander bunnypants]

9. Thanks everyone

My sisters SO acttually threw one at my house. I was confused

CB

[kay1864]

10. For your pregnant sister?

That was tacky.

[commander bunnypants]

11. I just was a wallflower

CB

[kay1864]

12. To clarify: I didn't mean you!

You just let them use your house. No, I meant your b-i-l (if I understand your post correctly). Spouses/SO's are not supposed to have baby showers for their own mates. Nor is the mother of the mom-to-be.

[commander bunnypants]

13. I understood what you meant

yes you understood correctly

Thanks

CB

[kay1864]

14. Good deal!

So are you enjoying your new niece/nephew?

[commander bunnypants]

15. When I can see them

I come from a shall we say a dysfunctional family. Sometimes we all dont get along to well.

[kay1864]

16. Sorry to hear that

Well at least you've had a bit of practice dealing with the little 'uns.

If you get a chance, check out the following (library, or buy a copy):
- The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-To-Be

And be sure to buy a paperback copy of
- Dr. Mom
- The Baby Whisperer (or rent the DVD) Invaluable when Baby Bunnypants won't stop crying.

Hope you don't mind the cheeky unsolicited book list:hi:

[commander bunnypants]

18. Trust me

the misses already bought them

CB

[Arugula Latte]

20. Oh, and don't forget that paragon of enlightened child rearing:

James Dobson! You know, beatings are good, everyone should fear you as the father figure, slaughter a goat every once in awhile ...

:eyes:

[fleabert]

19. to add:

anything by Dr. Sears.

http://www.askdrsears.com/