What great questions are answered by L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics?

[Deep13]

UHF viewers in the 1980s might remember ads for Scientology founder's book Dianetics which showed the book emerging from a cartoon volcano. All the while perplexing questions in text appeared along with the book pages that answered them. What are some other profound questions answered in Dianetics?

[Random_Australian]

1. What is in this book? Is the only question it could answer, I think.

If there are any serious *****tologists around, just take it as a subjective viewpoint.
If you are wondering about the asterisks it is offensive to my beliefs to spell it normally. :) Sort of. Ok it irks me so I don't do it.

[Deep13]

21. .

:kick:

[Ellen Forradalom]

2. What should I do with all my disposable income?

[wildhorses]

3. where ever there is a horse...

I'll be there:P

[Deep13]

4. My pony won't talk to you...

...because he's a little hoarse.

[Deep13]

5. "Would dat dere be yer friend in dah woodchipper?" p.531

[Monk06]

18. Page 458 .....

• I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

[Orsino]

6. "How can I make money off the lonely and gullible?" p.1-

And what's up with that nutty Tom Cruise?

[Deep13]

7. Send me $100 and I will tell you.

:evilgrin:

As far as the couch-jumper goes, I think it might be shtick just to get attention. No such thing as bad press.

[Deep13]

8. Something there is that doesn't love a pointless internet poll.

x(

[Deep13]

9. "I wonder wonder wonder wonder who--"

"--who wrote the book of love?" p.327

[Deep13]

10. An African swallow is nonmigratory. FWIW

[LaraMN]

11. "How crazy is L. Ron Hubbard"?

:crazy:

[Deep13]

13. ...and what does the "L." stand for? Answered on dust jacket.

[Initech]

12. African or European swallow?

:evilgrin:

[Deep13]

14. I don't know--aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[China_cat]

15. How can I make

a shitload of tax free money without working?

[gizmonic]

16. Where the hell is my keys? p209 n/t

:)

[Deep13]

17. How the hell should I know? p.210

[Deep13]

19. "Did I fire six shots or only fire?" p.403

[NoPasaran]

20. Oh, mama, can this really be the end

To be stuck down here in Mobile with the Memphis Blues again? p.352

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Are people really dumb enough to pay money if I invent a psuedo-religion?

[Deep13]

23. Don't need the book for that. The answer is yes.

Desperation has a way of making people dumb.

[u4ic]

24. How to get stupid-ass celebrities

to hand over their fortunes...;-)

[gizmonic]

25. Did I remember to unplug the iron? p.160 n/t

:P

[NMMNG]

26. "Can I pull a 'religion' out of my backside and make billions off of it"

And the answer to that question would be......YES! :rofl:

[NC_Nurse]

33. HA!

That was GREAT! :D

[Frank Cannon]

27. Are a fool and his money REALLY soon parted? (pge.1)

[long_green]

28. Other...This is a joke, right?

[Deep13]

29. Um, yeah. The TV ads were real, though.

They had questions like "How can I be successful?" p.258

[Jed Dilligan]

30. Which young actors and actresses

by middle age, will reveal themselves to be complete assholes and nutcases to boot?

[Deep13]

31. Um, all of 'em.

[Jed Dilligan]

32. Perhaps

But the ones who are Scientologists, more so.