DU Lawyers help!

[cssmall]

My wife is going through a time with her ex-husband with her daughter. It's quite unsettingly, but not completely at a loss. I just need to know one thing for her: is there an age at which the child is allowed to make their own decisions regarding which parent they wish to spend the summer with?

[Crazy Dave]

1. I'd worry more about what's best for the child versus....

...what's legal.

[MissMillie]

2. I'm not a lawyer, and I don't play one on TV

but I don't believe that legally a child is EVER allowed to make their own decisions, but I think there is an age (and I don't know what it is) where the child's opinion is considered heavily.

[dr.strangelove]

3. Domestic relations/Family law - Always difficult

I've been doing this for 6 years and it never ceases to amaze me how difficult family problems can be, and how quickly they grow. Good luck to you. As the non-biological parent, you are in a tough bind. The clear rule is always what is in the best interest of the child, no matter how much it may hurt your wife or the father of her child.

I am assuming that there is a custody/visitation order already in place. If there is, it should very clearly address summer vacations when school is not in session. If there is no order on custody and visitation, you need to get one. The judge will probably order the standard two weeks for the non-custodial parent. If there are unusual circumstances, this can change easily.

The short answer to your question is: Of course not. Until a child reached majority, she is bound by the visitation/custody agreement or order in place.

Tell me a few things:
1) What state are you in; 2) How old is the child; 3) How long have the parents been divorced/separated and what has been the visitation schedule during the past summers; 4) Is there an agreement (meaning a written agreement) on visitation or a court order?

[huskerlaw]

4. As far as I know...

and family law's not my area...but...the courts take the child's wishes into account. The older the child, the more heavily it's weighed (typically), but there's not a magic age where the child can say "I want to live with my Mom" and voila, the judge says "well, there you have it then. Case closed."

As for listening to the child, it's a bit discretionary, but most judges *want* to know what the kid thinks...so if the child is old enough to reason through why she wants to be with one parent over the other, it's quite likely the judge will happily listen to her. But again, as far as I know, there's no point at which the child gets to decide the outcome. Except of course when the kid is no longer a minor.

[eyesroll]

5. First: See my sig. Second:

According to the Legal Aid of Arkansas web site (I'll assume everything is taking place in the state in your profile), children's wishes for custody MAY be considered, but the judge isn't even obligated to ask.

So, in other words, that age is likely 18.

Here's the link to the .pdf:
http://www.arlegalservices.org/Data/DocumentLibrary/Documents/1088459672.22/FSChild_Custody_visitation.pdf


If the child seems genuinely afraid of going to one parent's house, then there may be something more there and it's worth talking to a lawyer and likely a psychologist. But if it's just the potential for homesickness, Dad has a cool boat, Mom would let her go to camp, that sort of thing...she likely doesn't get much of a say.