Three heroes of Project X

[Arkham House]

One--ANN COULTER. You can see the strain beginning to show on poor Ann's face. She's had a totally thankless task--to be a left-wing mole in the conservative movement, and wratching it up to the point where she becomes a living reducto ad absurdum, discrediting them by simply taking the implications of "conservatism" to their logical, dismal end. Whatever zest she might have had in her role vanished long ago, and the tension of her job is showing--the poor kid is beginning to look like a walking zombie... Being forced, thanks to her remarkable dedication and patriotism, to say things that even sociopaths wouldn't write on lavatory walls, and doing it in public, and getting the approbation of her "fellow conservatives"--all the while, of course, really being on our side, and hating what she's doing, and having to keep a straight face... Well, Ann, all I can say is, your long ordeal will be over soon. I think you've just about achieved your goal--that of discrediting yourself, and them, so much that no one listens to you anymore...we'll find a new life for you, away from all this mess...in the "Project X relocation program"...and you've deserved it, if anyone has...
Two--ORSON WELLES. Orson, on the contrary, has had nothing but zest in his job, ie, faking his death, assuming the identity of "Roger Ailes", and creating that wild, zany parody we call "Fox News". The years since 1985 have been a ball for Orson, as he's had a role, and a task, that any actor would sell his soul for. (To be sure, there is some flimsy evidence that "Roger Ailes" might have existed prior to 1985, but I don't know how seriously we need to take this evidence...and Orson might have been preparing himself even before his "death"...) The danger here is that Orson's hand in all of this has been *too* evident, that people would see thru it.. After all--who else but the man who panicked America with the War of the Worlds hoax, and the creator of Charles Foster Kane, could have created that daffy parody we know as "Fox News"? Like the Purloined Letter, the truth is so obviously in plain sight that no one can see it. Keep going, Orson--we need "Fox" as a diversion for awhile longer...
Three--RONALD REAGAN. Another actor, another long-term goal...a sign, by the way, of just how far-seeing the originators of Project X really were. Ron, of course, was a flaming liberal before his "conversion" to conservatism. But his right-turn was--or at least, we thought it was--assumed in order to become President and screw our finances up so badly that the people would turn in relief to the Dems. Well, it worked--kind of... The people *did* turn to the Dems--in 1992, after Bush somehow managed to win a term--so I guess Ron did his job...but there's always been a suspicion that Reagan's conversion to conservatism might have become genuine at some point, since he really seemed to get into it... This may have been why his last years were so singularly unpleasant--"No one crosses Project X"--
There you have it--a peek behind the curtain of our favorite long-term task. Assuming, of course, that I'm not spreading yet more disinformation. If anything happens to me, too, you'll know why--Things Happen To Those Who Speak Too Freely About Project X... And finally, let me say only that the Light-tower is Blazing Green...repeat: *The Light-tower is blazing green"...over and out...