Post sage advice here:

[CanuckAmok]

It doesn't have to be anything you have had to learn by experience; it can be anything you've ever heard, that makes sense.

I'll start:

Never, ever, ever lick a steel pole in sub-freezing temperatures.

Never, ever, ever marry a fucking call-girl.

Never, ever, ever store depleted uranium in your underwear drawer.

Never, ever, ever use Beajolais Neuveau for a bender.

Never, ever, ever, mislabel your video collection.

Never, ever, ever, stop to pick-up the hitch-hiking weirdo.



Anyone else?

[scoey1953]

1. Sage advice...?

According to some Aquarian spirtualists (and some members of Magical Blend Magazine)
Burning Sage clears the air of Negativity... oooook.

[CanuckAmok]

2. okay then...

Send me 61 tons of sage and a bic lighter, please.

[scoey1953]

4. What to you wanna bet ...its illegal in Canada?

I have a friend who lives in Toronto, she is always wanting "health" products, most of which
are illegal in Canada...wow, didn't think it was that bad there. She says she can't even get this certain shampoo cause of this one ingredient.

[TimeChaser]

11. Nope, sage is probably perfectly legal

Native Americans use is for cleansing as well

[ThomCat]

12. Don't hold the burning end.

:P

[FuzzySlippers]

3. Sage is an essential ingredient in bread stuffing.

[Nicole]

5. Plant lots of it

[Random_Australian]

6. Never, ever, ever store the U-235 with the weapons grade Pu, an initiator,

lots of explosives, a detonator with Nitrogen Tri-iodide touch powder on it, a loudspeaker hooked up to an amplifier hooked up to a microphone you have outside, (all plugged in and operational), and then yell at the microphone.


Why not, you ask? You will get a sore throat from yelling. :)

[fudge stripe cookays]

7. Always eat the meat first. It's most expensive.

Or so said my mom for most of my formative years.

fsc

[swag]

8. "Any time anybody tells you to look up at the sky

you know they got their hands in your pockets."

[LaurenG]

9. If you have a new kitten

ALWAYS check the dryer before turning it on.

[ThomCat]

13. If you have a new kitten

always walk carefully, and check before you close anything. :)

[noonwitch]

10. If a ball rolls in front of your car, stop-there's a kid right behind it

my mom didn't give me a lot of good advice in life, but this was probably the best that she ever dispensed. It has served me well, plus whenever a kid of almost driving age is in my car with me when it happens, I spread the advice on to him or her.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

15. I like that one....

[YankeyMCC]

14. "Bogatemu to i diabeł dziecko kołysze"

* The rich man gets his ice in the summer and the poor man gets his in the winter

Polish proverb I just came across

[asthmaticeog]

16. Excellent advice, in haiku form:

When someone argues
that suffering is noble,
he wants a favor.

[Tyler Durden]

17. Always remember: a wet bird doesn't fly at night.

If you've heard the joke, stop me.

[NoPasaran]

18. That orange thing in the oven

Is HOT!

[jobycom]

19. Never give sage advice. nt.

[AngryAmish]

20. Don't hook with a hooker.

[redqueen]

21. never fall in love

or if you do, keep your fool mouth shut about it

[blindpig]

22. Drink upstream from the herd.

Hey, what's wrong with hitch-hiking weirdos? I was a hitch-hiking weirdo for many years, now I'm just a weirdo. :-(

[ulysses]

23. it's good with pork.

:9

[Tikki]

24. Check the prongs and settings of your...

jewelry for loose stones and broken or bent prongs at least twice a year. A good time is with the changes of Daylight savings..
When approaching your vehicle, alone in a parking lot...glance under your vehicle as you approach and, also, look into the back seats
through the windows before you open the vehicle door.

If you lie down with dogs you'll wake up with fleas.
:-)


Water seeks it's own level....and you can't live in a hole in the road!!!


Tikki

[libodem]

25. I've learned

that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.