I need help!!!! Why does SATAN keep peeing in my bed??

[GOPisEvil]

If he wants my sooul, he should just take it, or make an offer on it. Why does he have to be such a bastard?!?!

[Wetzelbill]

1. karl rove is peeing in your bed?

[matcom]

2. Bush* is peeing in your bed?

i'd alert the russians

:shrug:

[GOPisEvil]

3. Why? He'd just look into their souls...

:shrug:

[underpants]

4. I'd just be glad that's all he wants to do

:scared::evilgrin::spank:

[GOPisEvil]

6. Are you saying he wants to leave a "surprise" too?

Boy, that Satan is EVIL.

[meegbear]

7. Satan's all man

[LynneSin]

5. Buy a brush and brush his hair

Seems to be a turnon for the male species.

<wonders if Satan can lick himself???>

:shrug:

[GOPisEvil]

8. OK - that is something I really don't need to envision.

*shudder*

[underpants]

9. My post above and Lynnesin's remind me of a TRUE STORY

The former girlfriend of my best friend and a friend of her's (got that?) went to get their navels pierced. While waiting they started talking to this woman who was waiting to get a tattoo. When asked what tattoo she was getting she showed them the drawing that would be used.

WARNING
.
.
.
WARNING
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.

The picture was an illustration of Satan having anal sex with her. She said it was always her fantasy.

True Story.

[GOPisEvil]

10. Hahahahaha!!!!

That's, uh, some fantasy...

[LynneSin]

12. Sounds like the perfect woman for you Dave!!

:P

[GOPisEvil]

15. Oh yeah...is she still single?

Or is she some biker's "bitch" now? :eyes:

[underpants]

17. In that ballpark

or trailer park I'm not sure.

[Wetzelbill]

35. Don't talk about my wife like that!

[underpants]

19. Dear Penthouse Forum I never thought I'd be writing you but last week...

:bounce:

It takes all kinds I guess.

[Westegg]

11. Satan can and will pee wherever HE so chooses.

You must be a very special fellow or lady, to warrant his micturant.

DON'T just get on your knees and lap it up like an animal, however. Rather, take the precious soaked sheets, boil them in a stock pot for three hours, extract the juices, reduce by half, ferment the results for a week at least. Then: Mix one cup broth per shot of Jack Daniels and one sprig of thyme. (Salt to taste.)

Enjoy.

Ah, how I envy you! I remember my first draught of Satan's Holy Water. It was a new world then, baby...

[underpants]

16. Oh Jesus Christ!

That was too funny..it was supposed to be funny right? :scared:

Welcome to DU Westegg:hi: if'n I haven't before.

[Westegg]

33. Oh, hell YEAH

it was supposed to be funny. What are ya, crazy? If you boil Satan's pee, it takes all the vitamins right out of it.

Thought everyone knew that...

[GOPisEvil]

20. Now THAT is funny and disturbing!

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Don_G]

13. Quit Buying The Beer

Ever heard of "Cause-And-Effect"?

[GOPisEvil]

18. Satan always leaves his wallet at home.

At least that's the story he tells. He wouldn't lie, would he? :D

[LynneSin]

22. Look - God has a message for you

[GOPisEvil]

23. Why isn't that in the Bible?

It should be.

[LynneSin]

25. God hath spoken:

[GOPisEvil]

28. Well, there ya go...

...that says it all, doesn't it?

[LynneSin]

32. You have been blessed my child:

[GOPisEvil]

41. Oh, I have to die first. Great.

;-)

[JohnKleeb]

14. Hes trying to make you look bad if you get a girl

Hes a bastard I know.

[GOPisEvil]

21. Damn! So I can blame him, then!

He really does ruin lives, doesn't he?

[JohnKleeb]

24. Hes part of the reason why I havent got a date and why I nearly choked on

my rice earlier :(. Stupid jerk, I told him I would consider letting him hang out one night and I had a baseball game and he got mad :(, this was like when I was 6, get over it Satan you fuck.

[GOPisEvil]

26. Satan is so selfish...it's all me, me, me...

He has to be the center of attention.

[JohnKleeb]

31. I thought he would be nicer

after seeing him in the south park movie but apparently hes more like Saddam was, a little ass.

[LynneSin]

27. How can you choke on rice

I mean, the stuff is small - you can swallow it whole

:shrug:

[JohnKleeb]

30. When youre like me Lynne anything can happen

Plus I stuffed too much of it in. Ow my tummy, god I should have had either Lo Mein or Fried Rice not both :(, but hey I havent ate in a while like this so I thought I would be ok.

[Wetzelbill]

36. at least it wasn't a pretzel

[JohnKleeb]

38. thats good thing yeah

because I would have a bruise.

[GOPisEvil]

29. Satan commands me to get a hair cut...see you sinners later!

:hi:

[VelmaD]

34. But...

you have no hair. If your hair was any shorter it would be a buzz cut. You get morme haircuts than any man I've ever met.

I think you just like having the chick at the salon wash your hair for ya.

[GOPisEvil]

40. I get ONE HAIRCUT A MONTH!

Jeeez....and my favorite woman at the salon moved to Houston. x(

[TEXASYANKEE]

37. Maybe because ...

he doesn't want you loving alone anymore?
;-)

[LynneSin]

39. I think God gave us a sign about that one