Favorite line from "Airplane!"

[Bossy Monkey]

You know, I think I have an idea what might win this thing?

[Placebo]

1. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffin' glue!

Honestly, that line makes the movie for me.

[sarge43]

17. "What a pisser!"

The Red Zone/White Zone dialog

McCroskey: Now your husband and the others are alive, but unconscience.

Johnny: Just like Gerald Ford

Hagerty's Barbie Doll voice "I'd sit on his face and wiggle around" made me spit popcorn all over the person in front of me.

The music was hysterical, too.

[KitchenWitch]

2. All of the "I picked the wrong week to stop..." lines

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

3. "I like my coffee black, like my men."

[Giant Robot]

14. Yes we have a winner!

That little girl saying that...

:rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

15. Oh yes!

Especially because it was a prim little WASP girl that uttered it.

[LSdemocrat]

31. Bingo!

[giant_robot]

4. I had to vote for Peter Graves.

His delivery of that line made it hysterical.

[fishwax]

5. "The Hell I don't!

Listen kid, I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. You tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes." :rofl: (Captain Murdock, who had insisted he wasn't Kareem Abdul-Jabar, until the kid told him his dad says he doesn't work hard enough on defense.)

Also: "That's when I developed my drinking problem" (Striker, as we see an image of him trying to drink from a glass and instead throwing the liquid on his face.)

[Blue_Tires]

48. oh, hells yeah

i forgot all about Kareem

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. I just love the "I speak jive." line!

I have tried many times, unsuccessfully BTW, to imitate it!

:rofl:

[Aristus]

46. Old Lady: "Now jes' hang cool, blood. That mama's gonna catch

up on a little rebound on the med side."

Jive Guy: "Mama, doan bus' me upside the head! I dug her rap!"

Old Lady: "Cut me some slack, Jack!"

Barbara Billingsley was a triumph of casting for that role.

My favorite scene, too. B-)

[RandomKoolzip]

7. "And Leon's getting LAAAAAARGER!"

Pretty much anyhting Johnny says is comedy gold, IMO. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be "Johnny" from "Airplane!"

[giant_robot]

8. How about some coffee, Johnny?

No thanks!

[AlCzervik]

30. Yes!!! he was the best.

[NMMNG]

9. The man is drinking alcohol (whiskey? brandy?)

The older woman from across the aisle is watching him and he holds up the bottle and asks if she wants some. She looks at him indignantly and says, "Certainly not!!!". Then she bends over and snorts a line of cocaine. :rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Any of the 'altogether' bits —

"It's an entirely different type of flying, altogether."

Others, en masse: "It's an entirely different type of flying."

Or the "But that's not important right now" bits. Both those are so Marxian. :rofl:

I wonder if anyone outside Kollyfornia gets the joke with the guy in the cab, waiting. That's Howard Jarvis.

[Bossy Monkey]

21. Recognizing Jarvis is more a function of being alive and alert during the

70s; I'm a hick from SC and knew who he was. (Now, did I recognize him without reading the credits? It's been a long time; I'm not sure.)

[Cannikin]

11. "Good luck. We're all counting on you."

[billyskank]

12. Oh, all of them

That film is just a string of great lines joined together. But I do particularly like "it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines," although that might be because of my raver history.

:)

[Neoma]

13. Here's a good one:

Steve McCroskey: Get me someone who won't crack under pressure.
Johnny: How about Mister Rogers?

[billyskank]

16. Oh, no wait, I've got it

The best line from Airplane! is:

"I haven't felt this bad since we saw that Ronald Reagan movie!"

[Dukkha]

18. Christmas was a living hell

Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question.

[jus_the_facts]

19. "Nick.. Heath.. Jarrod...THERE'S A FIRE IN THE BARN!!!"

:7 :7 :7

[Blue-Jay]

20. "I haven't felt this awful since I saw that Ronald Reagan film."

also...

"Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em."

"Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em"

[RockaFowler]

22. The shit's gonna hit the fan

I love that line. Plus the next scene showed the fan. Loved it!!

[auntAgonist]

25. that's my favourite too!

:hi:

aA

[Initech]

23. "Jive ass dudes dont got no brains anyhow!"

That whole scene is fucking classic! :rofl:

[SethInUpstateNY]

24. Steve McCroskey: Johnny, what do you make out of this?

(Hands him the weather briefing)

Johnny: This? Why, I can make a hat or a broach or a pterodactyl...

[fudge stripe cookays]

41. Yep, hands down!

Johnny was my favorite.

[SacredCow]

26. See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.....

Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em

[Va Lefty]

27. Controller #1- Get Me Steve McCroskey!

Controller #2- Are you kidding?! Ever since Reagan fired the air traffic controllers, he's been completely senile!

Controller #1- Yeah, but what about McCroskey?

Controller #2- About the same as Reagan.

[Ravenseye]

28. We have Clearance, Clarence.

Rodger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?

[AngryAmish]

33. agreed

[mduffy31]

29. This is only because of my age when I first saw this movie

When Striker says "When he hears this the shit is going to hit the fan..." and then it does, when you are 6 nothing is funnier than bathroom humor.

[skygazer]

32. "That's impossible, they're on instruments!"

(when it's suggested that the plane is lost) And then it shows them all in the cabin of the plane playing jazz.

[ContraBass Black]

34. "Ain't got no brains anyway."

:D

[GOPisEvil]

35. "White Zone, Red Zone"

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

[uppityperson]

44. every time I go to the airport and hear them announcing I laugh

thank you Airplane.

[smirkymonkey]

36. Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

I loved that movie!

[DawgHouse]

37. Hospital

Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital--what is it?
Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

[mdmc]

38. kick

[TallahasseeGrannie]

39. Chump don't WANT help, Chump don't GET help.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

40. Jez hang loose, blood...she catch u on the

rebound wid da medicide.

[sakabatou]

42. Does anyone here speak l33t?

j0.



Okay, so it isn't Airplane, but it's close.

Fave-line: "They're playing jeopardy out there!" (Cut the passengers playing "Jeopardy")

[Blue_Tires]

49. great find

i saw that a few years ago, and had been looking for it ever since

[bumblebee1]

43. From Johnny

Anything that can goes wrong does.

Johnny: "Look, there's a sale at Penney's."

[Beware the Beast Man]

45. I was just about to post this.

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

47. "I wonder what the devil he wanted."

[pokerfan]

50. This one always makes me laugh

probably because of its understated nature:

Dr. Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?
Elaine: No.

And also this one:

Elaine: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

And the lady sitting next to Striker: No wonder you're upset. She's lovely. And a darling figure... supple, pouting breasts... firm thighs. It's a shame you two don't get along.

[RedStateShame]

51. "Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... "

"in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it."

[noonwitch]

52. "I like my men like my coffee-black", said by a little girl

Kareem's rant about how hard he plays is funny, too.