The Wisdom Of Life

[Uncle Joe]

*1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,

for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me the hell alone.
*
*2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it.
*
*3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting
any.
*
*4. No one is listening until you fart.
*
*5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
*
*6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have
their shoes.
*
*7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
*
*8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish,

and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
*
*9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was worth it.
*
*10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
*
*11. Good judgment comes from bad experience
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
*
*12. There are two theories about arguing with women.
Neither one works.
*
*13. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.

*
*14. Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night

E-mailed to me from a friend, I thought I would share.



:)