It's Time for Yet Another JOKE THREAD!!!!!

[CO Liberal]

I'll start. Let's see how long we can make it....

Q - What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

A - One is a flaming Nazi gasbag, and the other is a dirigible.

:-)

[Wonk]

1. George and Laura are having breakfast in the White House,

and Laura asks him "With the economy in a mess, billionaires taking out full page ads in the New York Times against you, rising anti-American sentiments and wars breaking out all over the world are you planning to run for President again?"

George answers "Yes, dear, I'll be running again. I don't feel like I have any choice but to."

"Honestly?", she asks.

"No, same as last time."

[plcdude]

20. this is not a joke but then it is funny

Who was the last guy who waved hello to guy on stage singing "I just called to say I love you"

[are_we_united_yet]

2. What does George Bush call himself in the White House

The President of the United States.

Hahahahahahah whewww that is funny! Stop it, please no more hehehehe!

[Darth_Ole]

3. So Ronald and Nancy Reagan went out to dinner.

And Nancy said to the waiter, "I'll have a steak, and some wine, too." And the waiter asked, "What about the vegetable?" to which Nancy said, "He'll have the same thing."

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[drdigi420]

13. Damn, this one musta been funny

eom

[TreasonousBastard]

5. So, Cheney dies...

somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, and the only two around to properly ID the body are Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz.

"It's not him."

"Why not?"

"Cheney's got two rectums-- this guy's only got one."

"Eh? How do you know that?"

"Cause every time the three of us go up to the White House, Rove says 'Here comes the VP with the two assholes. "

[TreasonousBastard]

6. How many Republicans...

does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to hold it in the socket, and 15 to screw it up.

[TreasonousBastard]

7. OK, I hated to laugh at this one...

but I did anyway.

Hillary is shocked to find herself in the family way and calls Bill.

"You sonafabitch! Look what you did to me!"

"What's the problem."

"I'm pregnant!"

"Oh my, who is this?"

[CO Liberal]

8. When the Bushes Have Sex, Whi Does Laura Get On Top?

Because all Pretzelboy can do is f**k up.

:-)

[CO Liberal]

9. How Many Republicans Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Two - one to change it, and one to hold the chandelier steady.

[mac56]

21. Alternate answer:

Two. One to call the electrician, and one to mix the martinis.

[CO Liberal]

10. What has 19 Legs and 32 Teeth?

The crowd at a Freeper rally.

:-)

[commander bunnypants]

14. Best one so far

DEMMAN

[commander bunnypants]

11. ok ok

Whats your favorite vegetable. Mine is Ronald Reagan


DEMMAN

[CO Liberal]

12. How Do You Get a One-Armed Freeper Out of a Tree?

Wave at him.

:-)

[maine_raptor]

15. Ok This One

How many Freepers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. A horse walks into a bar...and the bartender says...

"Hey, why the long face?"

[CO Liberal]

17. A Blonde, A Rabbi, and a Duck Walk Into a Bar

The bartender looks up and says, "What is this - some kind of a JOKE?????"

:-)

[maine_raptor]

18. A man walks into a bar

and says "Ouch"!!!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. Heeehheeee, I love these silly jokes.

:toast:

[mac56]

22. Celine Dion walks into a bar -

and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

[TreasonousBastard]

23. Skeleton walks into a bar,

and says "Give me a beer and a mop."

[JohnyCanuck]

24. A dog walks into a saloon

in the wild west and asks for a whisky. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve dogs in here. You'll have to leave." The dog gets mad and starts to argue. Finally one of the patrons pulls out a sixgun from its holster and blasts away wounding the dog in his paw. The dog limps out squealing and hollering.

A few months later the saloon's swing doors slam open and there's the same dog dressed all in black and packing heat this time. The honky tonk piano goes quiet and the poker players stop their card games while veryone stares at the menacing figure in the doorway. The dog says, "I'm looking for the man.......who shot my paw."