Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:02 PM
Original message |
Please convince me not to walk out. |
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The lies and hypocrisy are bad enough.
But now I am getting headaches that last for days. I crumpled yesterday -- twice. Once in a storage room, the other in a stairwell. I am noticably weaker. I can't continue. I need 15 months, I can foresee being gone in 7 and that's assuming I don't break down before then because of the conniving dipshits who are not getting reprimanded for their stunts and lallygagging. We're already understaffed. And management does not care. And I'm hurting. Literally. The headache is still there and it hurts. I can't do it anymore.
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miss_american_pie
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:03 PM
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TK421
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:03 PM
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2. What kind of work do you do, if you don't mind me asking? |
Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:29 PM
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auntAgonist
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:05 PM
Response to Original message |
3. I'm so sorry you're in pain... |
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Do what you have to do to preserve your health.
:hug:
aA
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wildhorses
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:06 PM
Response to Original message |
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:hug:when are you getting the HELL outta there???
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Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:07 PM
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5. My own folly has made it impossible... |
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Talk about tough love. :rofl:
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Kire
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:21 PM
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7. sounds like you don't need to be convinced |
Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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:)
I've been trying to sleep all day; the headache is still there and I swear my arms are weaker.
I'm going to go out for a drive and find a park or lake to walk around. Lake Minnetonka perhaps.
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Kire
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Sat Jul-22-06 08:06 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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it's "impossible" for you to leave, but you want us to convince you to anyway
:shrug:
I wish you only the best, and whatever life has in store for you, take good care of yourself.
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tinfoil tiaras
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:10 PM
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Get better soon! :) :hug:
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NewWaveChick1981
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:24 PM
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8. A job that does that to you is not worth it. |
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:hug: We all need to support ourselves, but there has got to be something better out there. For your own sake, take the bull by the horns and start looking for a new job NOW. :hug: You don't need this---you're too important to let crap like that take over. :pals:
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Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
9. Been looking for 1 yr, 3 months now. |
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I've been turned down saying I wasn't qualified (then those dorks should have written the ad more clearly; I matched every qualification.)
The one pre-interview call I had I blew, because I'm not good "talking on my feet".
I just have to keep trying.
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graywarrior
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Sat Jul-22-06 03:42 PM
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11. I worry about you, HypnoToad |
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You have to turn it around and start laughing at these people. Otherwise, they win. You're smarter than that.
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OhioBlue
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Sat Jul-22-06 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
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Hypno - you should do exactly that, you have to laugh at them. I've felt like you do different times at jobs, the only thing to do (short of finding another job) is to stop caring so much and laugh at them. I'm sure DUers can help. Tell us about one coworker that really bothers you.
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crim son
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Sat Jul-22-06 04:10 PM
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you must make some changes. Is there anywhere you can go to just hide and be taken care of for a while? That job of yours - lose it - it's killing you. Stress is making your very real illnesses into something you can no longer handle.
I'd invited you to stay over here but that would be adding insult to injury. No available work and socially, the Dead Zone. :hug: :hug:
You deserve a little bit of luck. It's time.
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jobycom
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Sat Jul-22-06 05:41 PM
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15. Dude, stress will kill you quicker than poverty, and the atmosphere you |
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are describing is also affecting your self-confidence, which will hamper your job search. I'd say yo should convince us you have to stay, because from what I've seen, leaving would be better.
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txwhitedove
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Sat Jul-22-06 05:46 PM
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16. Hi, HT. Please push forward in your search for a new job. Perhaps it... |
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is time to look outside your same city, even outside your state. The world is wide open to you and there truly are many possibilities. Find them, make them, don't give up.
:hug:
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TallahasseeGrannie
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Sat Jul-22-06 06:49 PM
Response to Original message |
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Get a diagnosis and get disability. (a mental one would be best if you have a mood disorder or something similar)
You aren't going to last long this way.
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Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
25. I have a few already: |
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From the last shrink, and the only one I can respect because she bothered to take into account my history and past:
* PTSD (if not GAD w/panic attacks, she is not sure yet) * Bipolar disorder (albeit an atypical one) * Asperger's Syndrome
I dunno how it's going to help, but I'll call on Monday. She also knows other people who work at my location and isn't happy with what's going on; they know it's not just me or me making this stuff up.
Well, with the Asperger's diagnosis I've gone to those support group meetings they've recommended. Not only did this solidify and validate my own beliefs (I started reading about it a couple months before getting the proper diagnosis) and have learned a LOT that has helped. and not just peoples' stories (some of which, especially re: not getting hired for jobs), but how to cope... but it's like my current employer wants people to leave and the organization to break down.
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Roon
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Sat Jul-22-06 06:51 PM
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18. That's why I drive cab |
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No worries about your co-workers, you get to party with everyone, and you make good cash money. It's not just for anyone, I hasten to add...but I had the same problems you did once...no more!!
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pitohui
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Sat Jul-22-06 07:27 PM
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19. have you had a medical evaluation? |
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a headache of that intensity can be something serious, like west nile or another mosquito born encephalitis, i know a kid who died of it
a headache so strong that you "crumple" needs medical attention in my humble view
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Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
22. The GP will instantly write it off as anxiety. |
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BTW: it's still there; all I need do is move (especially if it's from horizontal to vertical) and BAM, it comes back for a while. Then, after a while, it settles down again -- but I'm still feeling weak and funky.
I just tried taking ibruprofin. I hope it helps.
I'll call the shrink on Monday; Lord knows I'll still feel this crappy then. I agree; I think something else precipitated it. But for now, I can only go with that it was a really odd panic attack.
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pitohui
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Sat Jul-22-06 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
27. well i would be cautious abt allowing the GP to do that |
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i've told the story before, my mom was diagnosed as being depressed and nearly died because the real condition was several major arteries clogged which required multiple bypass surgery to save her life
i can hardly imagine how a headache of such intensity could be written off as "anxiety" without tests to be sure there is not another problem
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outofbounds
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Sat Jul-22-06 08:28 PM
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21. I don't know you or anything, |
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but you sound just like my wife. She had a job and all she could do was vent day in day out. The pain aspect was different but still neck pain and real nervy. She lost the job and has been at home for a month. The thing is if you are getting sick from your job chances are you ont be able to do it very well and then the axe will fall. Understaffed or not. Take some time off, get away for a few days. Heal up. Now my wife feels better she back to her old self and will get a job in a week or two. We may be living in a cardboard box by then but she will be healthy.
If you are in front of a computer all day, and I see you on here a lot it may be the monitor causing these headaches. I heard that can happen. It's like this, you can work yourself to the ground for what? A few bucks, a bunch of bucks. what good is it if you can't be healthy and enjoy the benefits of it? You have one life my friend, you can be happy and fulfilled or you can hurt. I wish you the very best. See a Dr. And remember, Don't sweat the small sh*t.
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Deja Q
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Sat Jul-22-06 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
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So far I've been able to keep up, but I agree - the proverbial cards will stack up against me. (I'm still able to do my work, which requires a lot of moving around hardware or myself, and I still know and utilize procedures my coworkers can't fathom because, let's face it, I am a reasonably bright person and that's the one thing that "cross-training" can't do. Improve a person's ability... but the "management" can't see beyond dollars and cents. Which is a pity, for they have no sense. :( )
I do have some vacation hours left, but an illness that struck me hard earlier this month wiped out a lot of them. I'm going to make use of them soon.
Also consider this: My work is my life. My job is my life. My counselor knows I have had difficulty trying to find a relationship. (You say "my wife" as if it's something that's entitled to everybody with ease. I can't even get a date. There are many things in life people take for granted, or even spit on, that I can only be envious of via a distance. My situation is inherently different. And I am more or less alone in this.)
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outofbounds
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Sun Jul-23-06 06:42 AM
Response to Reply #26 |
28. I said my wife because |
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her situation is recent. I married at 18 for 1.5 years and divorced. The next time I got married or even had a significant other for that matter I was 30. I have had more than my share of rejection and loneliness. If you think of marriage as an entitlement you are going to be lonely for a long time. Its a commitment. And nothing more. Passion, Romance and are emotions that ebb and flow but the commitment/love stays strong or dies. I worked at a boat dealership for 11 years, I thought that was my life. On the water demonstrating boats during the week, you can't beat that right? I was trying to get the owner to acquire a line of boats that would allow the average income a reasonable way to the water. He would have it. Fought me tooth and nail on this issue. What an idiot, you can put so many more boats out if people can afford them. Simple math right? I left that job and about 2 months later, you guessed it, he got the seagull poop out of his head and brought the line in. He can't keep them on the lot. Good for him. I work 15hrs less a week and make 30 percent more money than I did then. At the time I worked there I gave my every waking moment to make that place money, to make it better, and all it got me was misery. This sound like the situation your in. At least to me. You care more about this place than it cares about you. Happiness eludes us in those situations. Good Luck!
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Floogeldy
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Sat Jul-22-06 10:04 PM
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23. Fuck no. I'm not going to talk you out of shit. |
Pale Blue Dot
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Sat Jul-22-06 10:06 PM
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24. I'm going to a career counselor now. |
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I recommend it, if you can afford it. They can help you examine options that you may not even have concidered.
I'm trying to get out of retail for the first time in my adult life. I aften feel the way you do. Good luck.
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Deja Q
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Sun Jul-23-06 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
29. Wow. I can't even get into retail. |
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Those personal profiling questionairres.
Of course, now I know they want somebody extroverted, but they gear those tests to suss out false positives as well.
I know this because, up until 3 years ago, I tried getting a second job to pay back my debt more quickly. LOL, maybe my debt helped hinder me FROM getting a job. :eyes:
I ultimately decided to take the high road and hope I'd have my job until all was paid off; I know nothing was out there. A pity, 3 years ago I could have declared bankruptcy given my debt. Now I can't. It's too low, yet with anything that's left in the job market, it'd take me far more than 15 months.
And I'm too tired (and stressed) to handle the additional stress.
I should have declared. I didn't listen to my gut instincts; I know the world in ways the naysayers didn't, and there were many.
Still, there's hope...
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