:rofl:
and among the 283 THOUSAND hits that came up, this particular rant had me :rofl:
<snip>
Last week, Alex Z. suggested we go to The Olive Garden before checking out The Animal Club at Caroline's. "It would be fun," he said, "In an ironic sort of way."
Now I'm all for irony. What else encourages us to enjoy places normally condemned by the good-taste-having flat-screen-owners of society? However, there's a difference between being ironic and consciously diving headfirst into a pool of feces.
In short, The Olive Garden sucked. In long? The Olive Garden sucked then, still sucks now, and probably will go on sucking forever and ever.
The remainder of this restaurant review of The Olive Garden will be a critical analysis of the children's activity book that I filled out with crayons while I was there.
A Descriptive Journey through Ollie & Friends Italian Adventures, Tour of Venice!
There's no exclamation point at the end of "Venice" in the actual activity book, but I included one to suggest a sense of excitement.
The Tour of Venice issue of Ollie & Friends focuses primarily on the character, Bene Breadstick. Bene is in Venice "to meet up with his pals for some sightseeing." I imagine that Ollie the Olive is usually the main character, so I'm happy that Bene Breadstick finally got his chance to shine. After all, the unlimited breadsticks that accompanied the bottomless salad were perhaps the only redeeming aspect of the entire terrible meal.
Sorry. I promised myself that I would focus solely on The Olive Garden activity book, and not on the terrible terrible Olive Garden food. My apologies.
<snip>
In addition to being a breadstick, Bene always smiles and is constantly looking upwards. This is also true of Ollie the Olive and Bene's other friends, Tonya Tomato, Ricky Ravioli, and Gina Grape. They're always looking up. Do you know those portraits of Jesus that just gaze directly at you, no matter where you go? Well, Bene Breadstick is just like that, except he's always looking just up above your head and a little up to your left. Now I know it doesn't sound bad, but it is. No matter what, it's like he's staring at a large dangerous projectile object that's about to hit you in the back of the head. And his strange gaze is even more disconcerting when you're eating at The Olive Garden, as it makes you feel like there's a waiter constantly hovering right behind you, threatening to serve you more terrible, terrible food.
Oops. Somehow The Olive Garden's massive suckiness managed to sneak its way back into this review again. My bad.
more..... :rofl:
http://www.elephantlarry.com/restaurants_olivegarden.php