I don't walk on eggshells for anybody.

[amitten]

How about you?

[Floogeldy]

1. Yes. Sometimes.

But, in general, it is always good to be kind while, in addition, being frank with the listener.

I hope to god I haven't upset you by this post I really didn't mean it in a negative way.

[amitten]

27. I am always polite. BUT...

it seems so many people these days are hell-bent on finding reasons to be offended.

When clearly no offense is meant.

Lighten up, folks! The world can't read your mind!

[philosophie_en_rose]

54. But people can't read your mind either.

If you say something that causes offense, then perhaps it's an opportunity to explain yourself or have a dialogue.

[amitten]

58. I am never offensive. People shouldn't go around assuming

that everything is a personal attack. I always assume the opposite, myself.

People are overly touchy, point-blank. If you tell a person you like their outfit today, and the first thing they say is, "WHAT? Didn't I look good yesterday??" then they are psycho. That kind of thing. It's eveywhere. Just finding stupid baseless reasons to be offended.

It's ridiculous, and rampant at DU as it is everywhere else. (I've noticed this reading other people's posts lately).

We should all try to be polite. But none of us should constantly have to self-censor. It's still a free country, kids.

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. Of course I do.

It's possible to be honest and clear while also being gentle in a sensitive situation.

I can certainly be abrasive and confrontational, but not as a general rule.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. I don't.

I do apologize according, as I go along, though.

[reyd reid reed]

4. I do.

I hate it, but I do.

:shrug:

[idgiehkt]

5. yes.

and if I'm sleeping with them I jump through hoops like a poodle.
so there.

pathetic, but true.

[reyd reid reed]

6. Why do we do that?

I'm the same way. And then, even when I'm not sleeping with them anymore, I still tip-toe around.

[idgiehkt]

11. I don't know

I've had enough lovers by now to have learned no one person can put a lockdown on all the sex, so I don't know why I just don't relax a bit, lol.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. "Jump through hoops like a poodle"

I understand that. At least if it's a person I really like. If I'm just sleeping with them, then I have no problem with being a dick.

[idgiehkt]

14. I'd think I'd like to be 'just sleeping' with someone

that's my goal for next year. Ride this one out and then if nothing happens concentrate on learning how to just have sex for pleasure and not throwing myself on the cross in some relationship just to get laid. (Safe sex or whatever of course). Because celibacy bites and i'm afraid at this point it's becoming a habit. I don't want to get used to it to the point where sex becomes this bizarre thing I used to do when I was younger like turning the headlights off while driving through tunnels at night or something.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

16. Yeah, you don't want that to happen.

I'm going through a dry spell myself. It's been a couple months and it sucks. I seem to go through phases. Either I'm trying to juggle two people at the same time or it's nothing.

[idgiehkt]

17. toss one of 'em to me and we'll both be happy.

;)

I know, I know, it's never that simple...

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

18. Yeah, and currently, I don't have anyone to toss over anyway.

Maybe the third dyke Priyanka's bringing on my "Big Queer Apple Picking Expedition" will be be hot.

[idgiehkt]

22. are y'all really going to pick apples?

or is that some kind of cutting edge lesbian euphemism I'm to old to know about?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

23. Yeah, for once, it's not a euphemism to cover up our dirty talk on DU.

It's legitimately going to be five dykes piling into my Big Gay Jeep and heading out to a farm to pick apples.

:rofl:

[idgiehkt]

24. rofl

and I was thinkin', dayum but these kids today just call it out, lol.

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. Sure, sure

You're gonna have nekkid applesauce wrestling, aren't you?

Everybody knows gay folk are All About the Sex. :eyes:

[idgiehkt]

28. this one is

but only because I haven't had it in so damn long.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

30. While I wouldn't mind naked applesauce wrestling, it seems unlikely.

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

34. You're not doing your part, dammit!

You're gonna have five lesbians — five! — together at the same time! It'll be a prime opportunity to piss off the Freepers and fundies with some hot, deviant sex!

Couldn't you at least stop on the way for some topless, full-contact basketball? And videotape it and e-mail it to the American Family Association? :shrug:

I hate to see an opportunity like this go to waste...

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

35. Well, we will be heading into the truly "red" part of NJ, as opposed to

the red, but actually very socially liberal, part of NJ that I live in.

Who knows, we might offend a few random people at the farm.

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

36. Well, see that you do!

(It's a magnet.)

http://www.art.com/asp/sp-asp/_/pd--11749658/sp--A/Omigod_Theyre_Lesbians.htm



Edit: Holy fuck, there's some hilarious stuff at that site! :rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

37. I have that magnet.

I also have one that has Jane holding hands with a girl and Dick looking on. The caption is "Jane knows Sally. Jane doesn't care to know Dick."

[Oeditpus Rex]

38. I'm in love with this one

:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

40. This one is for me.

[Oeditpus Rex]

41. I thought of you when I saw that one

Wait... is that a bad thing? :scared:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

43. LOL...

I don't think so.

You know, I crossed dressed my barbies into GI Joe uniforms and yet my mom was *shocked* that I turned out to be a lesbian.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

57. well if i werent coming with a chaperone

naked applesauce wrestling would commence

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

59. Yes, we do need a chaperone to keep you out of trouble.

:rofl:

[cwydro]

48. I think that is good advice

gonna try that myself...:hi:

[cwydro]

46. omg

:rofl: I'm so glad I'm not the only one! However, I have resolved NOT to do that anymore, should I ever be in a relationship again.

[SeattleGirl]

8. Used to do it all the time, but hardly at all any more.

In fact, if I start feeling like I need to walk on eggshells, it pisses me off, and I'm more likely to confront the person. Of course, it depends on who the person is, as to how in-your-face I will be.

I have spent a lifetime walking on eggshells, being afraid of what someone would think of me, but no more. A waste of time and energy.

[reyd reid reed]

15. You're my hero

:loveya:

I'm working on getting to where you are now. I'm not there yet, but it's my goal. Got any tips?

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

19. Well, what helped me was to use my anger in a positive way.

Even before I started using it, it was there. But I would stuff it down, get all meek, say sorry sorry sorry, mea culpa, etc. But the anger lingered. So what I decided to do was USE it -- use it to give me the guts and the temerity to confront the person, and say, WHAT THE HELL IS BUGGING YOU? And that question can be asked in various ways -- from kind and friendly, to pissy. Depends on the person; depends on the situation. But it does work. Because what it lead me to was this: Sometimes a person is acting badly because I really did do something that hurt them or angered them. Walking on eggshells does not lead to finding out what's going on. I'm quite willing to apologize if I did something that hurt or angered a person, or to explain my actions if necessary. I can't make amends if I don't know what it is I did.

Conversely, it's a great way to fight against passive-aggressive behavior. I hate that shit. And over the years, I've become much less tolerant of it. Sometimes, confronting a person will back them against a wall to the point where they get pissed enough to tell me what the hell is going on. Sometimes, they don't, so I just walk away, after telling them that I believe the ARE being passive-aggressive, and if and when they are ready to talk about it, I'll listen and discuss. But don't expect me to read your mind; you have an issue with me, you'd better be willing and able to tell me what it is.

And believe me, sweetie, it took me a LONG TIME to get there, but it was well worth the journey! :hug:

[reyd reid reed]

25. That's me to a tee...

And I'm so sick of the 'sorry sorry sorry sorry' crap. I catch myself saying it out of habit.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of avoiding confrontation and I'm tired of going to any lengths to avoid rocking the boat.

And I know at least one...maybe two...boat that needs to be rocked.

:hug:

:loveya:

[SeattleGirl]

31. Gotta practice NOT saying "sorry sorry sorry"

If you think about it, not a lot of people say that, and unfortunately, some folks don't say it when it IS warranted. But just aske yourself this: am I apologizing for existing? For me, that was the bottom line. You DO deserve to exist, sweetie, so grab hold of that, and learn to live it.

:hug: :loveya:

[hfojvt]

33. you should not be saying "sorry, sorry, sorry" For you it should be

sorrey, sorrei, sorree :hide:



I am not sure if I walk on the eggshells, or if I stomp/trip on them and then "run away! run away!"

[reyd reid reed]

39. Heh

or surrey, sorbet, soiree?

Truly I am working on getting better about it. I swore I was gonna banish Little Miss Mary Fuckin' Sunshine...and, while she still makes the occasional appearance, I'm getting better.

I'm tired of being a doormat. I'm tired of being invisible. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not here or that I shouldn't be here or that I have to apologize for existing.

So there.

Ha!!!

[SeattleGirl]

42. Baby,don't beat yourself up over it, either.

Many of us arrive at the place where we can defend ourselves with honor, where we can bat down those who would do us harm. It takes as long as it takes; beating yourself up over it doesn't help. Celebrate the steps forward, and don't dwell on any steps backward. You'll get there, one way or the other. :hug: :loveya:

[reyd reid reed]

45. The steps backwards piss me off...

I feel like I fight for every step forward, so losing ground is like a defeat. I try not to let it get to me -- I'm trying to think of it as a process -- and I'll make it.

:hug:

:loveya:

[SeattleGirl]

62. I know what you mean.

But the effort is worth it. Just don't spend too much energy on the beating up part. :hug:

[hfojvt]

44. since I lived in Iowa for three years, I feel like

I Owe the World an Apology, even if I never was one of those Idiots Out Walking Around.

I am happy you are here and enjoy seeing you, but I like Little Miss Mary Sunshine. She brightens my day, especially when we are (expletive deleted)

Haven't we been here before?

"You might think that it's hopeless
beyond our control
but that's not necessarily so
can't you see there's a chance for the daring young soul
who's finally learned to say no
'no I won't be mis-used,
ignored or refused
and I won't just give up and let go..."

let us meet for a soiree, eat some sorbet in that surrey with a fringe on top.

[reyd reid reed]

52. Lemon sorbet or raspberry?

:hug:

Thank you.

[datasuspect]

50. what you said:

"I'm tired of being a doormat. I'm tired of being invisible. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not here or that I shouldn't be here or that I have to apologize for existing."

i've felt like that in the past, but you know what, sometimes i am my own best company, considering the toxic strangeness of the majority of humanity i come across.

we all have our unique qualities, and it makes interacting with a unique person even more sublime when they can display those qualities without beating you up with them.

you aren't invisible. you are here. you should be here. you have much to offer.

[datasuspect]

49. fuck that shit!

you don't need to apologize to anyone (unless you are wrong).

you are vibrant, witty person. i don't know you personally, but anyone who can throw back 100 parliament quotes in response to mine (and some obscure references) is someone who i wouldn't mind knowing.


nah, don't trip potato chip.

[reyd reid reed]

51. Awwww

You just made my day.

:hug:

:loveya:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

20. I can relate to that.

The more I feel like I need to walk on eggshells, the more likely I am just to turn total bitch on them.

[SeattleGirl]

21. As I just told rrr, one can turn that anger into a good thing.

We can use it to fuel our honesty, which is ultimately the best thing.

[bridgit]

9. i have, i will on occasion, but as a rule...no...

[Robeson]

10. Clearly, you've never spent the holidays with my family...

...;-)

[Writer]

12. Hell no.

Although sometimes it means that person will simply get no reaction from me whatsoever.

[amitten]

29. I can't tailor every word that I utter to please the world entire.

People need to grow up, and toughen up.

[Dem2theMax]

13. When it comes to another person's feelings, yes.

I'd rather have a bit more humanity when it comes to living life, than choosing to be hard hearted.

[qnr]

32. Only with the other member of this household. Though technically, it's

more a matter of her and I simply not talking about some things.

[buddhamama]

47. hmmm...

one can speak thier minds and still be respectful of others. i do think however, you have to respect yourself more by realizing certain people and/or situations are not worth your energy and remain silent.

[bullwinkle428]

53. I'm learning not to do that anymore - quite frankly, I think that

walking on eggshells has done more to fuck up relationships I've been in than anything else. I'm trying to be direct in expressing my needs and feelings and not being apologetic about it. Those around me can choose to react to this however they decide, but I won't feel guilty over it. Being honest about who I am and what I want doesn't make me a bad person.

[nosillies]

55. Nah, not really

Instead of walking on eggshells, I do two other things:
1) keep my mouth shut when I feel I can't be civil or sensitive enough
2) apologize when necessary

By following those two rules, I pretty much feel good all the time and manage to maintain good relationships.

I learned a long time ago the difference between assertive and aggressive, and since I switched from aggressive to assertive, life has been good.

I used to walk on eggshells around my mom. I love her to death, but that woman could pack your suitcases for a guilt trip like nobody else - so passive aggressive. I told her one day that I was going to stop tiptoeing around her, and she was cool with it, and we get along so much better now!

[av8rdave]

56. I prefer to stomp on them

[Shine]

60. Sometimes I have to around my sister.

Long story...:eyes:

[LanternWaste]

61. Yup. All the time.

Yup. All the time. I walk on eggshells when I'm around alcoholics and/or thier familes. Same goes for people with disabilities, people who have had someone close to them recently pass, people who have recently been fired or laid off.... I think you get the idea.

I think walking on eggshells is part and parcel of common civility and charity. It's never a bad thing, and if it prevents someone from undue discomfort, even better! :)

Edited for: stoopid speeling mistacke!