So I have this friend who always...

[libnnc]

declines my offers for lunch or tea. I email her in advance--"Do you want to get together?" etc. She always, ALWAYS poops out at the last minute. So I thought to myself, okay, I just won't offer anymore. Why waste my time inviting her when she's just going to decline anyway right? Well, she came up to me a couple of weeks ago and said, "Please continue to email me invitations for lunch/tea. One of these days I'll take you up on it." :wtf: Is it me? I don't get it.

I'll invite her to meet me this weekend...again...and I guarantee she won't show up.

What is it with her? Do I have cooties or something?

[sbj405]

1. She sounds pretty passive aggressive

I'd put the ball in her court. "I know you're really busy. Why don't you get in touch with me when you have some free time?"

[Haole Girl]

2. Well, you obviously don't have cooties

I professor, where I went to college, used to say, "Things are seldom as they seem."

Here's a story for you. I had social anxiety really badly when I was younger. I don't know why my parents never thought to help me through it...instead they simply banished me to the upstairs whenever they had parties.
Back to the story: My senior year in college there was a friend, in one of my classes, who invited me to her home for dinner. I accepted her invitation. As the days grew nearer, I began to get a little worried about it because she would increase the number of guests, brag about her new stemware and the gourmet food she was going to cook, etc. I simply panicked the day of her dinner party and called and left a message on her answering machine saying I couldn't go. She never talked to me again. It was toward the end of our last year in school...and she just never called me, I never called her, and we completely lost contact with one another. I know, though, to this day (beyond a doubt) that she thought I was just as ass for not showing up. And, how could I explain something like that (at least, that was my thinking at the time).

There could be dozens of other possibilities...she might just be very busy, taking care of someone who is terminally ill, has some kind of sitter problem (with a small child)...who knows? I'm just throwing out this story to you so you'll know...people who cancel social engagements at the last minute do so for a variety of reasons. It's not you. If it was you, then why would she ask you to invite her again?

Sorry, I didn't intend this to be a lecture. :hug: